


Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Etc.

by Mirai_chan



Category: GOT7, Red Velvet (K-pop Band), TWICE (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Canon Universe, Coming Out, Drama, Eventual Relationships, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Idols, Implied/Referenced Sex, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Questioning, Romance, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2018-11-30 02:59:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 55,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11454579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirai_chan/pseuds/Mirai_chan
Summary: Jeon Jungkook is definitely not into guys. He just finds some of them attractive sometimes, and maybe enjoys looking at some of them a little too much. He may also sort of forget how to act like a normal person whenever he's around one particular guy.But that doesn't mean anything, he just hasn't had much experience with girls.Kim Yerim is definitely not into girls. She just thinks they're pretty, or she admires them. She just likes being around other cute girl groups, more specifically the cute girls in them.But she's still young after all, she just hasn't found the right guy yet.They're both definitely not gay.Okay, they might be.So they're both kinda freaking out.The obvious solution to their shared problem is of course to become the world's latest idol power couple.But things don't quite go as planned.tl;dr: Yeri and Jungkook date to hide their sexualities, and shit happens.





	1. Be my fake boyfriend

"Ooh, who you texting?"

 

Taehyung collapsed onto the couch beside Jungkook and leaned over to peer at his phone. Jungkook switched it off and moved it out of Taehyung's reach, trying to lean away from him but failing to detach himself from the older boy.

 

"None of your business." He gave up his struggle with a sigh.

 

"Hm, that's a very suspicious reaction Jungkookie." Hoseok grinned at him from across the room.

 

"Why is that-" Jungkook started to object, but was distracted by his phone buzzing. He moved it closer to him to read the new message, forgetting about Taehyung until he let out a noise somewhere between triumph and indignation.

 

"Ha! I knew it!" He pointed at the younger dramatically "You thought nobody saw you two exchanging numbers!"

 

"It's not-" Jungkook started, only to be cut off again by Hoseok

 

"Who is it? Is it a girl?" Taehyung nodded and Hoseok's eyes widened.

 

"Wah, no way! Who?" Jungkook didn't even have chance to formulate a response before Taehyung spoke.

 

"Yeri-ssi" He nodded again "Of course" He added after a moment "You two were so in love."

 

"We're just friends." Jungkook finally managed to speak, his voice laced with exasperation.

 

"Sure, sure." Taehyung dismissed him. Hoseok looked equally skeptical.

 

"What did the message say?"

 

"That's not-"

 

"It said: OMG, that's so cool!" Taehyung said in an overly high pitched imitation of Yeri's voice. Hoseok started to laugh.

 

"Get you, getting yourself a girlfriend before any of us. Wouldn't expect that from you" His smile widened at Jungkook's increasing irritation. He sighed, glancing away from his elder band mates as his mind wandered.

 

Ever since BTS and Red Velvet's collaboration several weeks ago (which fans were still raving about) Jungkook had been texting Yeri as often as their busy schedules allowed. Despite Jungkook's usual inability to interact with the opposite sex, him and Yeri had hit it off almost straight away. Something about her made her easy to talk to, and as the two maknaes were to perform together, they ended up spending a lot of time with each other. However, despite what both of their groups seemed to think (as far as he could tell the rest of Red Velvet were similarly convinced about their relationship) there was no romance between them. It would make sense, they got on well, and Yeri was undeniably a pretty girl. But even so… Jungkook snapped out of his thoughts and tuned back into what Taehyung and Hoseok were saying, and managed to get a word in edgeways.

 

"It's not like that, we're just friends, I'm telling you, it's nothing more than that." The other two stared at him, and Hoseok opened his mouth, no doubt to continue to tease him. But all their attention was drawn away as an irritated Yoongi appeared in the doorway.

 

"What are you guys going on about? Can you keep it down? Some of us need sleep to operate."

 

"Ah hyung, did we wake you?" Hoseok responded cheerily to Yoongi's grumblings, much to his annoyance

 

"It was for good reason though hyung!" Taehyung protested, twisting round to face Yoongi. "Jungkook's been texting a girl!" Jungkook sighed as he too turned to face the older boy.

 

"Can we just…" He trailed off. Yoongi was standing leaning against the doorframe, with an expression between annoyance and boredom that he so often sported. His face wasn't what had caught Jungkook's attention, it was more the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt. This wasn't particularly unusual, all of the members were perfectly fine with walking around like that, it just came with living with each other. But even so Jungkook couldn't help but stare at the older boy's body, unwanted thoughts drifting across his mind.

 

_He looks good like this…_

 

Jungkook suddenly became aware of what he was doing and managed to tear his eyes away. He looked up to meet Yoongi's quizzical gaze, only to quickly look away in embarrassment, finally succeeding in pushing Taehyung off him and standing up.

 

"Jungkook-ah?"

 

Taehyung seemed to have noticed something was wrong, there was an edge of concern to his voice.

"I'm going to bed." Jungkook responded abruptly, turning and heading for the door, making sure to avoid looking at Yoongi as he passed him and trying to ignore his stare that followed him as he left the room.

 

 

It was times like these that he needed a room to himself. 

Jungkook threw himself down on his bed, letting out a low groan of frustration. His problem just seemed to be getting worse every day. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment he had started to have these feelings, but as soon as he had become aware of them he could think of little else. 

 

It had been easy to ignore at first. The way he looked at other guys could easily be put down to being admiration, appreciation, or even jealousy. But after a while it became clear that it wasn’t just that. 

 

So he came up with whatever he could think of to excuse it. Initially, he had put it down to stress. Then he had decided it was being around guys too much. Lack of experience with girls? Some kind of phase? That was what he had stuck with, and he had hoped that it would pass, and he'd be able to stop stressing about it so much. But it didn't seem like anything was going to change any time soon.

What if it isn't a phase?

Jungkook swallowed. He dismissed that thought every time it crossed his mind. Because he couldn’t be like… that. He knew that there were people like that even in this country, obviously, but not  _ him.  _

He didn’t usually have a problem with the word itself, there was just something about applying it to himself that made it hard for him to even think it, let alone say it. And yet, it was getting harder and harder to persuade himself that it wasn’t the case, what with the way he’d thinking lately. 

And then there was Jimin.

 

Probably the worst part of this was that the other members were not exempt from the feelings he was having. He felt terrible every time he looked at any of them in a slightly non platonic way, and this seemed to happen most frequently with Jimin. He didn’t know why everything about Jimin suddenly affected him so much, why sometimes the smallest things Jimin did would leave him inexplicably confused and flustered, why these things could also have his brain going to very inappropriate places and immediately feeling horrible about it. 

 

He didn’t want to think about it, because he knew he would catch himself doing it again, and god, his mind was already on the choreography they had practiced earlier and that particular move during the chorus and Jimin-

Jungkook sat up quickly and ran his hands through his hair roughly several times, as if he could erase that thought from his head this way. The sound of his phone buzzing provided a welcome distraction from from his uncomfortable thoughts. He picked up his phone and saw three new messages from Yeri.

 _Shit, I forgot to reply._ He quickly typed a response to her previous messages, adding an apology for not replying sooner.

 

**Yeri [11:28 PM]**

_ah it's okay haha_

_so what you doing now?_

**Jungkook [11:29 PM]**

_not much_

_you?_

 

They continued on a similar vein of small talk for a little while, but it soon trailed off. Yeri seemed to have noticed that Jungkook was distracted and tentatively brought it up.

 

**Yeri [11:36 PM]**

_um_

_is everything okay?_

_you seem kinda down_

 

**Jungkook [11:38 PM]**

_sorry_

_got a lot on my mind_

 

**Yeri [11:38 PM]**

_oh_

_I get that_

_you want to talk about it?_

 

Jungkook paused, trying to think of how to respond.

 

**Jungkook [11:40 PM]**

_it's okay, I can't really talk about it_

 

It took a moment for Yeri to respond to this.

 

**Yeri [11:42 PM]**

_it's a secret?_

**Jungkook [11:43 PM]**

_I guess_

**Yeri [11:43 PM]**

_fair enough_

 

Jungkook paused to think of what to say, but Yeri got there first.

 

**Yeri [11:45 PM]**

_have you got any free time tomorrow?_

**Jungkook [11:45 PM]**

_uh I think I have practice in the afternoon but nothing in the morning_

 

**Yeri [11:46 PM]**

_because I have the day off tomorrow, and I wanted to go out somewhere_

 

**Jungkook [11:46 PM]**

_with me you mean?_

 

**Yeri [11:46 PM]**

_um yes_

_not like a date_

_just as friends_

**Jungkook [11:46 PM]**

_that's not what netizens will say_

 

**Yeri [11:46 PM]**

_haha_

_does that mean you want to?_

 

**Jungkook [11:47 PM]**

_sure_

 

After arranging when and where they could meet, as well as anticipating how their fans would react when they inevitably found out through the somehow all-knowing gossip sites, Jungkook fell back on his bed again with a sigh. His mind was already returning to what it had been fixated on before.

Dating rumours would actually be quite welcome at the moment.

 

*****

 

 

"You going somewhere?"

Namjoon watched Jungkook curiously as the younger pulled his jacket on.

 

"Yeah." He looked round "That's okay right? We don't have anything on this morning"

 

"Yeah, it's fine." Namjoon continued  to watch Jungkook get ready, the curious look not leaving his face. Jungkook shifted uncomfortably as he realised he had now drawn everyone's attention.

 

"Are you meeting someone?" Yoongi said in his usual abrupt manner, probably voicing what the rest were thinking.

 

"Mhm" He mumbled vaguely, hoping they'd stop questioning him and just let him leave.

 

"Who?" Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok spoke in such perfect unison it was quite unnerving.

 

"None of your business!" Jungkook spoke more sharply than he had intended. He felt a slight pang at the the taken aback and almost hurt expressions the others were giving him at his outburst, but the guilt was outweighed by the frustration that had been building for a while. He turned suddenly and made for the door, not wanting to look at anybody in the room any longer.

 

"I'll be back in time for practice."

 

He didn't wait to hear the response.

 

Being outside felt good. Sure, the sky was grey with cloud and it was fairly humid, but there was also a light breeze which made the heat a lot more bearable. Jungkook paused for a moment to appreciate the space that simply stepping onto the street provided. Being inside windowless practice rooms and dressing rooms, and even in their new apartment got stifling after a while. Maybe it was also being around people constantly. Finding time to be alone and just be able to think, without any disturbance, was virtually impossible when he lived in a world that needed him to be always doing something.

 

Jungkook started to walk again, aware he was drawing attention to himself. Again. He couldn't seem to help doing that. He wanted to be able to lose himself in thought but had to focus on not being noticed. It wasn't always like this. He didn't usually need this much time to think, but lately he had been dwelling on things so much. That was what was making him act this way. He knew he shouldn't have snapped at the other members, or acted the way he did the previous night.

 

They'd probably picked up that something was bothering him. That meant he could expect questioning on it, likely very soon.

 

How could he possibly tell them what was on his mind when he couldn't figure it out himself?

 

Jungkook became aware he was about to walk past the place he was supposed to be waiting, and tried to walk back casually, scanning the area. The argument back at the dorm as well as his pausing and generally slow walking had made him quite a bit later than intended, so it was likely Yeri was already here. It only took a few moments for him to find her, though she was clearly trying not to be noticed either. As soon as she saw him, she gave a small wave and indicated for him to follow her. They basically skipped greetings as they got inside the cafe they had chosen for their not-date as quickly as possible.

 

"Ah~ idol life is the worst sometimes." Yeri declared as they sat down, pulling her face mask off and her hood down. Jungkook mirrored her actions, agreeing fervently. Yeri launched into conversation soon after, making Jungkook honestly thankful for how easy she was to talk to. It was fun to talk about mindless things like this. It took his mind off other things.

 

They both relaxed around each other quickly, but after a while, the conversation dwindled. After they had recovered from laughing over an anecdote from Yeri's trainee days, they fell silent momentarily.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

Jungkook glanced up and met the girl's eyes, an expression of slight concern visible there. The short pause in conversation had allowed his mind to wander yet again.

 

Jungkook frowned, and ran a hand through his hair, averting his gaze.

 

"I'm fine. Just got a lot on my mind."

 

"You said that last night too" Jungkook heard Yeri shift in her seat and looked up involuntarily.

 

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Her expression was curious.

 

"I can't." He spoke without thinking. "I'm sorry, I can't. I can't tell anyone"

 

Yeri was silent for a moment.

 

"Okay… But you know, I wouldn't tell anyone right? Unless you've killed someone." She was smiling again now.

 

Jungkook swallowed hard. The thoughts that had been plaguing him for weeks buzzed incessantly in his brain, making his whole body ache. He was exhausted by it. He wanted to talk to somebody so badly. He needed to talk to somebody.

 

His brain told him it was a bad idea, but something had snapped inside him. He couldn't keep doing this. He had to say something to someone.

 

"I think I'm gay" He said the words before he could stop himself.

 

Yeri looked at him with complete shock.

 

Jungkook's mind was suddenly going at full speed, when it had seemed so frozen before. He had to to backtrack, make it out to be a joke, explain, say something. But he was quickly starting to panic and couldn't think of anything to do.

 

"I uh, I have to, um-" He half stood up, grabbing at his hair, unable to form proper sentences. The need to explain and the need to get out of there were fighting with each other.

 

Yeri made the decision for him.

 

"Wait!" She stood up suddenly and grabbed hold of his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. He stared at her, his brain still going at 100 miles an hour until she brought it screeching to a halt with her next words.

 

"I am too!"

 

"W-what…?"

 

"Well I mean, I'm not gay, if it's a girl then it's l-lesbian, I think, but I don't know if I am that y'know, I mean, uh, it's hard to explain…" Yeri trailed off from her rambling and bit her lip as she watched Jungkook for a reaction.

 

"We should, um, sit down." Was the genius he could come up with.

 

"R-right" Yeri let go of his wrist and they both sat down. A few moments passed in silence.   

 

"I can't believe I just said that." Jungkook said suddenly, making Yeri look up from the spot on the table she was staring at.

 

"Me neither." She fiddled with her hair.

 

"What I said or what you said?"

 

"Both?" She laughed shakily "Thanks for saying it though. It made it easier for me to say it."

 

"I had no idea you were…" He paused "I just needed to talk to someone about it. I couldn't… You know…" He paused again "D-do you know?"

 

Yeri laughed slightly awkwardly. "I think so?" She fidgeted again, playing with her hair and tapping on the table, seemingly unable to keep still. "Are you sure?" She spoke suddenly.

 

"Um, what?" Jungkook responded dumbly.

 

"That you're…" She glanced around for a moment "Uh, that. You know." She fidgeted more "Ah, I should have been clearer, sorry"

 

"No… Yes… I don't know." He sighed and looked away "I don't want to be."

 

"I don't want to be either. But I think I am."

 

"So do I" Jungkook was surprised to hear himself say that. It was the first time he had acknowledged that that was really what he thought.

 

"I'm scared." Yeri spoke quietly "If I am… then I'll lose everything. I-I don't know what to do."

 

The two were silent again for a while after that. Jungkook watched Yeri as she stared at nothing, her expression mirroring his emotions. He leaned back in his seat, and gave a humourless laugh as something occurred to him.

 

"What?" Yeri looked at him in confusion.

 

"Sorry, sorry. I was just thinking- everyone's gonna be posting about us meeting up, there's gonna be articles and everything." He smirked slightly, glancing into the distance "Dating rumours"

 

"Nobody will suspect a thing." Yeri smiled slowly "If they knew what we were actually talking about…"

 

"Aigoo, don't go there" They both managed a laugh at that. Yeri assumed a thoughtful expression.

 

"Dating rumours huh… But they're just rumours. If we were actually dating…" She trailed off. Jungkook frowned.

 

"Are you saying-"

 

"Would you?" They stared at each other "So nobody finds out. If you date a girl just once, nobody will ever suspect you."

 

"Yeah…" He had been constantly worried that somebody would find out, whether it be the other members, the media, overly observant fans. The idea of this problem being erased was more than inviting.

 

"So, are you asking me out?" Yeri seemed taken aback by the question, but recovered herself quickly.

 

"That's exactly what I'm doing." Her smile widened "I can't be the first girl to ask Jeon Jungkook to be his girlfriend."

 

"No," he admitted "But you're the first to be accepted"

 

Yeri sat back in her seat and surveyed him for a moment.

 

"First to be accepted huh? I'll take it." She chewed her lip, her expression fading slightly "Ah, our companies aren't going to agree to this, are they?"

 

"Doesn't mean we shouldn't try. You were right. We can't let anyone find out." Jungkook was becoming more fixated on the idea by the minute.

 

"Well, in that case." Yeri stood up and held out her hand. "You be my fake boyfriend, and I'll be your fake girlfriend."

 

Jungkook took her hand without hesitation.

 

"Deal."

 

"Does that mean you're paying?" Jungkook stared at Yeri, and she smirked back at him, before both of them burst out laughing and it was quite a while before they managed to stop.

 

It was safe to say that their not-date had not gone the way either of them had expected. 

 

 


	2. Jeon Jungkook's girlfriend

_"Oh my God, Yeri, you'll be the death of me I swear"_

 

_Yeri folded her arms and feigned outrage as the girl sitting opposite her went into hysterics._

 

_"It's not funny! Stop laughing." She swatted at the other girl, "Stop it! What kind of friend are you, laughing at me like that?" Despite saying this, Yeri was unable to stop herself from joining in with said laughter. The girl smirked triumphantly across the table at her._

 

_"I'm your best friend and you love me."_

 

_"In your dreams." Yeri quickly drank the remainder of her coffee, avoiding any eye contact._

 

_Kim Saeron was an actress just a year younger than her, and one of her closest friends, not just outside of the idol world, but in general. They met up as often as their busy schedules would allow, and talked constantly over messages and called each other practically daily._

 

_Saeron meant a lot to Yeri, so that comment was accurate. She did love her, of course she did, they were best friends. So why had the comment made her feel so… Nervous? Excited? Whatever it was she was feeling?_

 

_"Hey, earth to Yeri, are you in there?"_

 

_Saeron waved a hand in front of her face, breaking her out of her reverie._

 

_"Hm? Oh yeah, sorry. Hey, I think I have to go, I've got a lot on today."_

 

_Yeri saw Saeron try to hide her disappointment and smile._

 

_"Oh, of course. That's fine, it was great seeing you. We don't get to hang out enough."_

 

_They both stood up and made their way to the exit. Saeron turned to Yeri and hugged her before they went their separate ways._

 

_"I miss my girlfriend when we're apart." Saeron said teasingly into her ear._

 

_Yeri felt a little jolt at those words, almost like an electric shock._

 

_"Y-yeah…"_

 

_Saeron pulled away from the hug and smiled one last time, holding eye contact, before turning to walk away, calling back as she did so_

 

_"I'll text you! Endlessly!" She gave a little wave. Yeri watched her go with too many thoughts swirling around her head._

 

_Later that evening, after staring at the ceiling of her and Sooyoung's shared bedroom, Yeri decided she wasn't going to find any answers there._

 

_"Unnie, can I ask you a question?"_

 

_"Mhm" Sooyoung responded without looking up from her phone. Yeri raised her eyebrows and sighed._

 

_"It's about romance?"_

 

_Sooyoung looked up immediately, switching her phone off._

 

_"Ask away, little one"_

 

_Yeri rolled her eyes but continued._

 

_"How can you tell if you like someone?"_

 

_"You're going to have to give me more than that." Sooyoung sat up straight on her bed and faced Yeri with a quizzical expression "Tell me about him"_

 

_Yeri managed not to react to the male pronoun._

 

_"Well, um. He's my friend, and I really like being friends with him. So I really like him, you know, as a person."_

 

_"Okay…" Sooyoung thought for a moment "Is he good looking?"_

 

_"I guess? He's, uh, cute?"_

 

_"Uh huh" Sooyoung's expression was now a knowing one_

 

_"But it's not just that." Yeri rushed to continue. "I keep getting… randomly nervous around, uh, him. And I don't know if it's even nervousness? I mean, it's weird-"_

 

_"Yeri" Sooyoung held her hand up_

 

_"Hm?"_

 

_"You're besotted"_

 

_"Ah, I don't know about that-"_

 

_"You wanted to know how to know you like someone? Well, that. Exactly what you described. That's what liking someone is like"_

 

_"Yeah, but-" Yeri frowned and looked away "You wouldn't say that if it was a girl I was talking about"_

 

_"Well, no" Sooyoung gave her a confused look "You wouldn't feel like that about a girl though"_

 

_There was an awkward pause. Yeri looked away, not wanting to meet the older girl’s eyes._

 

_"Yeri?" Sooyoung's voice was laced with confusion._

 

_"Ah, I just… haven't really liked anyone before. It's new to me." She flashed a quick smile before turning over on her bed "Thanks for the help"_

 

_"Anytime." Yeri could tell from Sooyoung's voice that she hadn't entirely fooled her._

 

_She knew she had to be careful from now on._

 

 

 

"Everybody stop everything!"

 

Yeri was jerked rudely from her thoughts as Seulgi's raised voice came from the other side of the room. She heard Seungwan groan and felt her lift her head off her shoulder.

 

"What are you yelling for? You're interrupting our movie night." She grumbled, even though none of them were really paying attention to the movie.

 

"You two are sleeping" Sooyoung pointed out from Yeri's other side. "What's going on?" She looked over to where Seulgi and Joohyun stood in the doorway. Joohyun looked about ready to collapse.

 

"Congrats Yeri. You have a boyfriend." The leader offered her a small smile.

 

"Wait, what?!" Seungwan woke up properly.

 

"They approved it?" Joohyun nodded in confirmation and Sooyoung's eyes widened. "You're kidding"

 

"She's not kidding." Seulgi crossed the room and started searching the table for something. "Has anyone seen my phone? I need to tell everyone we know."

 

Yeri blinked confusedly as everyone in the room talked over each other.

 

"I have not slept in about three days, so if you'll excuse me" Joohyun raised her voice slightly "You are making me coffee tomorrow- I had to sit through an hour long meeting about your love life." She pointed at Yeri in an accusatory way before leaving the room.

 

"Our little Yeri got herself a boyfriend?!" Seungwan exclaimed. “I didn’t say you could do that."

 

"Yeah, how dare you get a boyfriend before me? What the hell!" Sooyoung pushed her shoulder playfully from the other side.

 

"Ooh, Taeyeon-unnie says congrats." Seulgi announced. She scrolled further through her phone and laughed. “She says EXO are loosing their shit.”

 

"Taeyeon-unnie did not say that." Seungwan deadpanned.

 

"She did, she-"

 

"Wait wait wait" Yeri detached herself and stood up, holding up her hands. "This is serious? They're actually letting me?"

 

Seulgi nodded, glancing up from her phone.

 

"I was surprised too. SM are usually so strict about this stuff, but they have a good relationship with BigHit now, thanks to us."

 

"They probably just want to ride off BTS's popularity." Sooyoung shook her head "They're taking advantage of you two being so cute."

 

"You ought to be careful, you can't talk about the SM family like that" Seungwan said in an amused tone.

 

"I wasn't dissing our wonderfully dysfunctional family, I'm talking about the higher-ups."

 

"Wonderfully dysfunctional?"

 

“Yep, wonderfully-”

 

"So I can actually date him? Like, for real?" Yeri interrupted their antics slightly exasperatedly.

 

"For the last time, yes" Seulgi looked back at her phone "Unnie says Junmyeon-oppa will kill him if he breaks your heart."

 

"Okay, she definitely didn't say that!" 

 

"She did, I'm telling you!"

 

 

Yeri shook her head disbelievingly. There was no way. She hadn't thought it would actually happen. They had asked, both of them, fully expecting to be rejected. They had only gone through with it because it was the only thing they felt like they could do. And yet here they were. It had worked.

 

As if on cue, a text came in on her phone.

 

**Jungkook [12:17 AM]**

_how does it feel being Jeon Jungkook's girlfriend?_

 

Yeri smirked as she considered a response

 

**Yeri [12:19 AM]**

_hm_

_it's okay_

_do I get to call you Kookie now?_

 

**Jungkook [12:19 AM]**

_no_

**Yeri [12:19 AM]**

_:(_

 

"What are you smiling at?" Sooyoung craned round to look her.  

 

"Nothing." Yeri spun round as she headed for the door "Just my boyfriend" She giggled and turned to leave, ignoring Sooyoung's protests.

 

The happiness was genuine. The fact she was allowed to date Jungkook, it felt like a solution to her issues. It felt like it could make everything okay. It felt like she could forget the feelings that had had started this in the first place now, that she could somehow be cured of them. As this thought crossed her mind and she tried to cling to it, tried not to apply logic to it, another text came in. Saeron.

 

**Saeron [12:21 AM]**

_omg Yerimie_

_Jeon Jungkook?!_

_is this for real??_

_how could you not tell me this?!?!_

 

Yeri read through the message several times, taking in the fact that her "relationship" had already been revealed to the world. That was good, right? They wanted everyone to know. That was the point. That was what made everything okay.

 

It almost made everything okay.

 

Almost.

 

*****

 

"You're in deep thought"

 

Jungkook wished he could've come up with an excuse to not sit next to Jimin in the van on their way to perform. It probably would have been okay if the older boy had been distracted talking to the others, but he seemed intent on watching the maknae as if he was the most interesting thing in the world. Jungkook flicked his gaze sideways and looked away quickly, not wanting to show the effect it was having on him.   

 

"Stop staring at me."

 

"What are you thinking about?"

 

Jungkook sighed and leaned his head against the window, determined not to look in Jimin's direction again.

 

"Nothing."

 

"Nothing?"

 

"Yes, nothing. Nothing important." Jungkook spoke shortly.

 

"Then why-" Jimin continued to press despite his tone.

 

"Can you stop talking to me?" Jungkook snapped suddenly, cutting him off mid sentence. Jimin fell silent, his expression changing to one of hurt and confusion.

 

"What's your problem?" Taehyung shot him a look as the van drew to a halt as they reached their destination. Jungkook chose not to answer as he fumbled to get out as fast as possible, feeling claustrophobic as everyone's attention was on him again.

 

Much to his relief, the incident was pushed aside as they all had to focus on getting ready. Going through hair, makeup and costume was a welcome distraction to the tension he had caused. Everyone quickly relaxed and managed to cheer Jimin up, and they were laughing and joking around like usual in no time. Well, most of them were. Jungkook watched the other members from the corner, conflicted as to whether he should apologise or act like nothing had happened or just stay where he was until things were less weird.

 

He hadn't felt this far away from the other members in years, even though they were right there in front of him. He didn't know why, but he knew that he didn’t want to be around them any longer. At least he needed some space.

 

"Where are you going?" Namjoon's voice came before he even reached the door.

 

"A lot of my friends are here, I haven't seen them in a while." Jungkook didn't turn round.

 

"So you'll talk to them but not to Jimin?" The leader challenged him.

 

"Hyung, it's fine, don't-" Jimin started to protest.

 

"It's not fine!" Namjoon raised his voice slightly. "Jungkook?" When the younger didn't respond, he spoke again. "Jungkook, look at me, I'm talking to you."  

 

Jungkook reluctantly turned to face him.

 

"Look, I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but you seem to think it's okay to treat your elders without any respect."

 

The room had gone quiet.

 

"Either figure out whatever it is, or talk to us about it, but I'm sick and tired of the way you've been behaving." Namjoon fixed him with a stern look "You're an adult. Act like one."

 

Not wanting to maintain eye contact, Jungkook instead looked at the floor.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

He knew it was inadequate, but it wasn't like he could come up with an explanation without it obviously being a lie. He took a step away from the door uncertainly, unsure of himself. He stopped as Namjoon surveyed him with an unreadable expression for a moment.

 

"Fine. Go."

 

"What?" Jungkook stared at him in confusion.

 

"Go, if you want to." Namjoon turned away and opened his phone, effectively dismissing him.

 

Jungkook hovered by the door, not sure what to do. The situation obviously hadn't been resolved and the atmosphere had only grown even more tense. The prospect of staying in the room any longer was not particularly appealing.

 

"I'm sorry, hyung." He managed to glance in Jimin's direction before turning to leave without waiting to see his reaction.

 

He hadn't been lying before, several of his friends were at this particular show, but for once he didn't feel like taking the rare opportunity to see them. He knew all they'd want to talk about would be his "girlfriend" and he wasn't in the mood to lie about it. The entire point of dating Yeri was supposed to have been to make them both less worried about being found out, but he felt more stressed than ever at the moment. He ended up wandering around aimlessly, looking for a less populated place so he wouldn't have to interact with anyone. He probably should have foreseen that he'd run into someone he knew eventually, but was too distracted by worrying about what he was going to tell the other members that it didn't cross his mind.

 

"Jungkook!"

 

The sound of his name brought him back to reality. He looked round, slightly disorientated, and found himself wrapped in a hug before he could register what was going on.

 

"Y-Yugyeom?"

 

"I haven't seen you in ages!" His friend pulled back, looking so genuinely happy to see him it was quite endearing. Suddenly Jungkook was surrounded by the other GOT7 members, although Yugyeom still held onto him, wrapping his arm around him almost protectively.

 

"Let him breathe Yugyeom." Jinyoung reprimanded the younger, acknowledging Jungkook with a nod.

 

"Did you, uh, lose the rest of your group or something?" Bambam looked around confusedly.

 

"No, um, I was just looking for…" he paused for a second "people…" he finished lamely.

 

"Well actually, we were looking for your lot too, so can you show us where the rest of you are?" Jackson leaned on his other shoulder casually "Not that you're not stimulating company Jungkook-ah" he added quickly.

 

"Oh, sure." He gave directions to where their dressing room was but hesitated as they all started to move.

 

"I think I'm just gonna… go somewhere else." They all stared at him curiously for a moment. Yugyeom removed his arm from Jungkook's shoulders and grabbed his wrist instead.

 

"Let's go somewhere more private." He suggested.

 

"Yeah, get a room you two." Jackson called teasingly after them as they started to walk. Jungkook quickly yanked his wrist from Yugyeom's grip and began to walk faster, thrusting his hands into his pockets.

 

"Hey, slow down." Yugyeom caught up with him and pulled him into an empty room, looking confused as Jungkook shook him off again.

 

"What's up with you? You're acting weird."

 

"They were saying stuff." Jungkook muttered, replacing his hands in his pockets. Yugyeom tilted his head quizzically.

 

“Who?”

 

“Your group.”

 

“Oh.” Yugyeom shrugged "So? They were joking. Does it really bother you that much?"

 

"No, it's not…"

 

"Is it cause you've got a girlfriend now?" There was a teasing note to his tone now. Jungkook looked away.

 

"I don't want to talk about that."

 

"Oh, um, okay." Yugyeom sounded unsure of himself now. Jungkook looked back in his direction to see he was frowning anxiously, pulling at the collar of his shirt "Have I done something wrong?"

 

Jungkook was ready to assure him that everything was fine, as well as excuse himself from the conversation as it wasn’t going well, but he had become strangely distracted by the way his friend was messing with his collar. He had pulled it just so his collarbone was exposed, and he was wearing a choker, as he often did. Something about the way it emphasised his neck and upper torso was somehow very distracting.

 

"Jungkook?"

 

He snapped back to reality

 

"Hm?"

 

"You were, um, looking at me weird." Yugyeom sounded slightly uncomfortable now.

 

Jungkook's eyes widened with the realisation of what he was doing and he turned away quickly. Why did this keep happening? He put his head in his hands and groaned.

 

There was something seriously wrong with him.

 

"Hey, are you okay?" Yugyeom moved closer to him tentatively and put a hand on his arm.

 

"I'm fine, just… stressed." Jungkook looked up at his friend, making himself focus on his face and nothing below that. This didn't help much, as looking him straight in the face seemed to be having a similar effect.

 

"Okay… I get that. Sorry for pushing you" Yugyeom offered him a hopeful smile. Jungkook forced himself to maintain eye contact without reacting, because he had totally just been checking him out, his _friend_ , what the hell.

 

"Your hair got messed up." Yugyeom commented, reaching to brush some of Jungkook's hair away from his eyes, before moving his hand down and brushing the older boy's cheek gently "And your makeup, aish, you should be more careful Jungkook-ah" He leaned in closer to focus on fixing whatever imperfection he had seen, but glanced over to meet his friend's eyes, perhaps feeling the weight of his gaze. They stared at one another for a moment. The nature of the tension that now hung between them was not something either of them had expected. Jungkook felt almost lightheaded. Unwelcome thoughts and impulses flooded his brain, and he couldn’t seem to get rid of them.

 

"Ah, I'm-" Yugyeom started to speak, shifting awkwardly under the intensity of the look he was being given. They stared at one another for another few awkward moments before Jungkook stepped backwards. 

 

"Sorry." He muttered "Thanks." 

 

"Right…" Yugyeom said slowly. "You're… really weird today, you know that?" 

 

"Sorry." Jungkook repeated, trying to laugh it off, not looking him directly in the eye.

 

Fortunately for him, Yugyeom didn't seem to want to address it further. He launched into conversation again, and Jungkook was honestly trying to listen, but he was preoccupied with mentally freaking out just a little bit. He still didn't want to look Yugyeom in the eye because of the lingering awkwardness, but where was he supposed to look then? He could look at the wall next to him instead of at him, but how could he not look at him while he was talking? Jungkook glanced back over and nearly made eye contact, looking away quickly. That turned out to be a bad idea as he just ended up unintentionally looking him up and down. 

 

"Ya, Jungkook." 

 

He looked up quickly. Yugyeom was giving him a weird look. 

 

"What are you looking at?" Yugyeom sounded half-joking, slightly unsure of himself. Jungkook's mind went blank.

 

 

"N-nothing." Jungkook stammered, looking away again. 

 

Yugyeom laughed again, obviously trying to break the tension. He slung an arm round Jungkook's shoulders in an attempt to be casual and pulled him in closer.

 

"It's okay. I know I'm good-looking." He said in a low voice far too close to Jungkook's ear. He was definitely joking now, or at least trying to make it into a joke. But Jungkook was panicking now, because he knew what he was feeling, and he needed to make it stop, to do something about it. 

 

Jungkook tried to pull away and turn to face Yugyeom simultaneously, but failed to properly pull away and ended up standing very close to him. They both stumbled and Jungkook looked up, making eye contact. They were so close now, but Yugyeom didn't move, seeming unperturbed by the proximity, looking surprised but still slightly amused. His eyes flickered over Jungkook's face briefly, and he bit his lower lip. 

 

_Shit_

 

At this point, Jungkook was so confused and frustrated and weirdly turned on that he was pretty sure he just stopped thinking for a moment. Because the next thing he knew he was kissing his best friend.

 

There was no way this kiss could be passed off as a joke, or a greeting, or something stupid like that. The attraction behind it was obvious. 

 

Yugyeom stayed in the same position, frozen in shock as his friend continued to kiss him, reaching his hand up into his hair.  Jungkook was aware of what he was doing and aware that he should stop, he needed to stop. But it was almost as if the rational part of his brain was half asleep. It couldn't reach through the haze of how good this felt.

 

"What are you doing?!" A voice cut through the stupor they were both in. Jungkook pulled away from his still unmoving friend, the real world coming crashing back.

“H-hyung?” Yugyeom’s voice was barely audible but the room seemed deathly silent.

 

A shocked looking Jaebum stood in the doorway, looking between the two of them.

 

“What the fuck is going on here?!”

 

All of Jungkook’s previous confusing feelings were now drowned out by a new emotion.

 

Panic.

 

He was so screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote most of this chapter in the middle of the night, and then went to work on three hours sleep, then came home and edited it, then binge watched Degrassi for several hours.
> 
> 'twas good.
> 
> Anyway, that's irrelevant, what did you think of this chapter? I'm not sure if I like it as much as the first one, particularly the Red Velvet bit. But you be the judge.  
> (also i know both my main characters have deviated from their tagged pairings in this chapter, i promise those relationships will happen this is not a trap)
> 
> Thanks to everyone who commented and left kudos, it made my day to see the notifications and to read all the feedback. <3


	3. How to date convincingly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I know it's been like 1000 years since I updated. Stuff happened in my life! This one's longer than the last ones, so I hope you enjoy it :)

"What's going on?" Jaebum repeated, looking between the two boys.

 

Yugyeom's brain wasn't working properly. He just stared blankly at his leader, not quite registering what he was saying. There was only one comprehensible thought going through his head, and that was, quite bizarrely:

 

_That must've messed his makeup up even more_

 

"I should go…"

 

A voice from next to him pulled him out of his head. He looked away from Jaebum to glance at Jungkook, who wasn't looking at either of them but rather staring at the wall with a strange expression. Fear, worry, but also something else. Like he'd just realised something terrible.

 

"I should…" He spoke again, looking up this time and catching Yugyeom's eye. They stared at each other for an uncomfortable moment. Yugyeom wanted to break the awkward eye contact, but he didn’t know where to look.

 

"Yeah, I think you should." They both looked up at Jaebum, who seemed just as uncomfortable watching them. Jungkook moved away from Yugyeom quickly, but hesitated in the middle of the room, uncertain. He seemed to mutter something inaudible, to himself seemingly, before making for the door. Jaebum stepped out of his way, giving him more space than was necessary. As if he was afraid he might accidentally brush against him as he passed. A few more moments of silence passed.

 

 

"Hyung, I-" Yugyeom found his voice, but Jaebum quickly interrupted him

 

"What the… what was…" He struggled for a moment, apparently unable to find words "What was that?!"

 

"I-I don't know" Yugyeom's voice faltered "He just, suddenly, I don't know…"

 

Jaebum frowned.

 

"He just what?"

 

Yugyeom fidgeted for a moment. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t really _want_ to say it.

 

"I, um, thought you saw"

 

"I-I saw, that doesn't mean I understand." Jaebum seemed almost as flustered as he was by the situation. He ran his hands through his hair frustratedly, searching for words. "Can you just explain what's going on?!" Yugyeom flinched as Jaebum spoke suddenly, taken aback by his raised voice. Noticing this, the leader sighed and rubbed his temples.

 

“Look just-”

 

“Is everything okay?” Jackson interrupted from the doorway. “We kinda have to go…” The two turned abruptly to stare at him. They were silent for a moment as Jackson looked uncertainly between them.

 

“Come on then.” Jaebum said eventually, indicating for Yugyeom to follow him as he turned to leave, somehow without actually looking at him. Yugyeom hesitated for a moment before following slowly. Jackson put his hand on the younger’s shoulder as he passed.

 

“You okay?” He said quietly. “What happened back there?”

 

“Nothing. Don't worry about it.” Yugyeom shrugged off the question. They rejoined the rest of the group, and several of the others looked in his direction with varying levels of confusion and concern. Bambam flung an arm around him, talking animatedly about something or other. Yugyeom struggled to listen to what he was saying as he looked over to Jaebum. The leader’s eyes found his briefly before looking away quickly. Yugyeom’s stomach clenched, his head filled with questions.

 

What the hell had just happened?

 

*****

 

"Jungkook, do you need to take a break?" Hoseok' concerned voice cut into the haze of concentration inside his head.

 

"I'm fine." He would be, as soon as the room stopped spinning.

 

Hoseok was clearly not convinced, calling for their practice to be stopped for a moment and they stopped to catch their breath. Jungkook leaned against the wall, breathing deeply as he tried to steady himself. His vision had returned to normal, but his head was beginning to ache. Taehyung gave him a sideways look, and almost did a double take.

 

"Dude, why are you so pale? You look like you're about to pass out."

 

"Yeah, maybe you should sit down or something" Hoseok said from across the room "Don't over-exert yourself."

 

With some effort, Jungkook pushed himself away from the wall and stood upright again.

 

"I'm fine. I can carry on"

 

"Are you sure? You really don't look so good." Namjoon watched the younger, unconvinced.

 

"I said I'm fine."

 

"Okay, everybody get ready to start again!" One of the staff called.

 

"But we just said-" Hoseok began to protest but was cut off

 

"If he says he's fine, then he's fine. We don't have time to mess around." The staff member stared them all down until they reluctantly complied. Jungkook was glad to be able to continue, even though his head was still pounding. Just as long as everyone's attention was off him, as long as he had something to focus on.

 

The relief he felt was short-lived however as just moments after they had restarted the world went black and next thing he knew he was on the ground. He can't have been out for very long, as the others seemed to only just be realising what had happened as he opened his eyes.

 

"Shit, Jungkook are you okay?" Taehyung reacted before anyone else did, crouching down next to him with a concerned expression. Jungkook half sat up, grimacing as pain shot through his back.

 

Hoseok observed this with a grim look before turning to address the staff members.

 

"I said we should have stopped. Now he's-"

 

"I'm fine, we can carry on." Jungkook sat up properly, ignoring the pain.

 

"You just passed out." Taehyung stared at him disbelievingly as he tried to stand. "I think you should wait a moment."

 

"I think we should call it a day." One of the staff spoke up. "We can't have you practicing when you're like this."

 

There was no point arguing. Jungkook sighed as he slumped down again, staring at a spot on the wall and zoning out what everyone was saying as they all spoke at once.

 

"Jungkook?"

 

His head hurt like hell.

 

"What?"

 

"I said, are you sick or something?" Namjoon frowned. "You don't look well."

 

"No." Jungkook groaned, leaning his head back slightly. "I said, I'm fine."

 

"Hm." Yoongi scoffed at this, moving towards Jungkook unexpectedly and tilting the younger's chin up so he was forced to look at him. He held this position for a moment before releasing him.

 

"When did you last sleep?"

 

Jungkook stared at the older boy with confusion. Yoongi sighed.

 

"You look exhausted, when did you last get any sleep?"

 

"I, um…"

 

"When, Jungkook?"

 

"Twenty four hours ago, maybe longer." He admitted in a low voice, avoiding looking at anyone.  _Yeah, try definitely longer._

 

"You've been here all day as well." He heard Hoseok say. His tone was low, but still laced with obvious concern. "No wonder you collapsed. You're overexerting yourself."

 

Jungkook chose not to say anything to this, although he knew they were all waiting for a response. Instead, he leaned over to get some water, trying not to show on the outside how much his entire body hurt, not trusting himself to stand up properly yet.

 

It really wasn't a big deal. He hadn’t slept properly in weeks, it was nothing new. Admittedly it had been worse lately, since the incident he could think of little else, and at night there was nothing to distract him. He had been anxious before, about everything, but that was nothing compared to now. On top of the anxiety he had been feeling before, there was now guilt. It was constant. He felt terrible about what he'd done to Yugyeom, he was disgusted with himself, that he could do something like that to his _friend_ . And that he could have _liked_ something like that. That was the worst part. He had enjoyed it. 

 

There was definitely something wrong with him.

 

Yugyeom and him hadn't spoken since. Jungkook knew he probably should try to talk to him, but he had so far been too afraid to. What was he supposed to say anyway? Sorry I randomly kissed you, I just want to do stuff to other guys cause I'm messed up in the head and have no self control?

 

Yugyeom probably hated him. And he deserved it.

 

“Jungkook-ah?” He was brought out of his thoughts abruptly. The others were still watching him with concern. He sighed and made to stand up quickly, which was a bad idea, as the world tipped sideways yet again. This time someone managed to grab him before he fell and steady him. He glanced to the side dazedly to see who had caught him. Jimin.

 

Of course.

 

“We should go.” Namjoon said. Then louder: “We’re going, come on.” He was met with murmurs of agreement as the others moved to follow him.

 

Jungkook just wished he had the energy to tell Jimin to let go of him.

 

*****

 

Being outside seemed to be the best way to diminish stress, Jungkook decided. Maybe it was being away from it all. Or maybe it was being around Yeri that helped him feel more at ease. He glanced across at the younger girl, who was talking animatedly about some anecdote as they walked aimlessly down a mercifully empty street. Things were a little different today than they had been the other times the two had met up, because this time it was supposed to a date. And since they were keeping up the pretence of dating one another, it had to look like a date. The trouble with that was neither of them actually knew what a date was supposed to look like.

  
Hence why they were walking aimlessly.

  
  
"Am I talking too much? I'm sorry, I got carried away." Jungkook looked in Yeri's direction again, as she gave him an apologetic look.

  
"It’s fine. I don't mind."

  
"Oh, okay."

  
They both fell silent for a moment. As they reached the end of the street they both stopped walking.

  
"So…" Jungkook shifted slightly awkwardly. It wasn't usually like this between them. "What do you want do?"

  
"Hm… I hadn't really thought of anything specific." Yeri said after a moment. "We should do something… you know… date-y." She gestured vaguely. Jungkook raised his eyebrows.

  
"Date-y?"

  
"Something that people do on dates, you know."

  
"Huh…" He thought for a moment. "What do people do on dates?"

  
"I don't know."

  
They exchanged a look and had to stifle their laughter so as not to draw attention to themselves.

  
"We could just go get coffee again. I'm pretty sure that's something people do." Jungkook suggested after they composed themselves.

  
"Hm…" Yeri considered this. "Sure, but maybe we should do something more than that as well. Go somewhere, do something."

  
"What, you mean like see a movie or something?" Jungkook asked. Yeri nodded slowly.

  
"Yeah yeah, something like that." She pointed down the street "Let's go that way. We can come up with ideas on the way."

  
"Okay."

  
They walked in companionable silence for a while. The road they had chosen was slightly more crowded, and Jungkook couldn't help feeling slightly anxious about being in public like this without any attempt to conceal his identity. He had to remind himself that being seen was okay, they wanted to be seen. Most idols who dated tried to keep their relationship as private as possible, but it was different for them. The more attention that was drawn to their relationship, the better.

  
Their admittedly not particularly well thought through deception had actually turned out better than they could have imagined. Many other idols who had openly dated in the past had faced backlash even from their own fans, but they had received surprisingly little of this, for whatever reason.

 

It seemed that the general public had approved of their relationship.

  
"Had any thoughts?" Yeri asked, cutting into his thoughts again.

  
"No." Jungkook admitted, glancing around and suddenly recognising their surroundings. "Hey, I didn't even realise we were near here."

  
"Here?" Yeri looked at him questioningly.

  
"Yeah. I come here quite a lot." He explained quickly. It was near here where he usually went bowling. The alley here wasn't actually the closest to the dorm, but it was smaller, and that made it his preferred one. It was here he'd been trying to persuade Yugyeom to go with him.

  
Jungkook frowned. Damn it. He'd gone so long without thinking about him.

  
"Jungkook-ssi?"

  
"Hm?"

  
"You zoned out again." Yeri giggled at him.

  
"Ah, I'm really sorry."

  
"It's fine." She waved a hand dismissively. "We should really think of something to do though."

  
"Yeah…" Jungkook said slowly. As he continued to try to push away his thoughts from earlier, something occurred to him. "Actually, I might have some idea." Yeri turned to him excitedly.

  
"Really?"

  
"Do you like bowling?"

 

*****

His idea turned out to be perfect. At first he had worried that it would just remind him of the current situation with his seemingly ruined friendship, but it was quite the opposite, it actually proved to be a great distraction. He hadn't really expected to have fun with this, but he hadn't felt this relaxed in what seemed like ages.

 

Of course, it helped that he was winning.

  
"Strike!" He straightened up and turned to face his companion, smirking. "Your turn."

  
"How are you so good at this?" Yeri complained, moving to stand next to him and looking out across the alley disbelievingly. Jungkook shrugged, faking nonchalance.

  
"Practice." He laughed at Yeri's unimpressed expression. "Okay, I'll show you." He gestured for her to take her turn. "Get ready to throw, and I'll tell you what to do." Yeri raised her eyebrows but complied.

  
"You're standing wrong." Jungkook said after Yeri assumed her position. "Uh, try and stand more like this." He demonstrated, and she shifted slightly to copy him.

  
"Like this?"

  
"Yeah."

  
He gave several more directions paired with gestures until her posture was satisfactory.

  
"Okay, now try."

  
Yeri put all her weight behind the throw, and succeeded in knocking all but two of the pins down.

  
"Strike!" She declared, turning excitedly with an expression of genuine happiness.

  
"That wasn't a strike." Jungkook tried and failed to suppress his laughter. Yeri rolled her eyes.

  
"Shut up and let me have it."  
  
She moved over to join him, pulling out her phone and studying for a moment before glancing up at him again.

  
"It's getting kinda late. We're gonna have to leave soon." She sighed lightly. "We forgot to go get food."

  
"Hmm…" Jungkook frowned. "I guess we did."

  
"Ah, I should have brought something with me." Yeri rifled through her bag. "Oh! I have candy." She pulled out a colourful packet and smiled at it happily. "Want one?" She offered it to him.

  
"Uh, sure?" Jungkook accepted one of the candies. "Is this our substitute for food then?"

  
"Well, I guess we could get something on the way back, but I kinda want to stay here a bit longer." Yeri admitted.

  
"Yeah, I'd like that-" Jungkook stopped mid sentence. "…What kind of candy is this?"

  
"Um…" Yeri examined the packet and shrugged. "I don't know."

  
"You don't know?"

  
"A fan gave it to me, and the packaging's in Arabic.” She explained. “At least I think it is."

  
"Oh. It tastes… kinda weird?"

  
"I think they're nice. The strawberry ones are the best." She held up one to show him before popping it in her mouth. "At least, I think they're strawberry."

  
Jungkook shook his head, trying not to laugh again.

  
"Alright then. I'm gonna throw again, if you're still interested in beating me." He turned back towards the alley and prepared to throw. He got another strike.

  
"Jungkook-ssi, way to go!" Yeri called. She got up to take her turn, moving into the position he had taught her before, focusing on getting her throw right. Jungkook watched her, contemplative.   

  
"You don't have to do that you know." He suddenly said, startling her slightly.

  
"What?" She turned to look at him in confusion. "Am I doing it wrong?"  
  
"No, not that. I mean…" Jungkook shifted slightly uncomfortably. "You don't have to address me formally like that."

  
Yeri tilted her head questioningly.

  
"You mean…" She started slowly. "I can talk to you less formally?" She hesitated. "Like… call you oppa?"

  
"I mean, yeah, if you want to. Only if you want to." Jungkook rubbed his neck awkwardly. "It's a thing that couples do as well, so I thought, you know."

  
"Hm…" Yeri seemed to think for a moment, then smiled. "Sure, that's fine by me." She finally made her throw, and turned to look at him again. "Kookie-oppa."

  
"Hey, I didn't say you could call me that!" Jungkook said indignantly as Yeri casually retrieved her candy and offered it to him again, smiling innocently.

  
"I thought you just said I could."

  
Jungkook sighed exasperatedly.

  
"Why do you want to call me that so badly?"

  
"Cause it's cute." Yeri said immediately. "You can call me by a nickname as well, isn't that a couple thing to do too?"

  
"What's your nickname then?" Jungkook asked, resigned.

  
"Give me one." Yeri suggested.

  
"A nickname?" She nodded. "Huh…" He thought for a while, looking around for inspiration. A stupid idea suddenly occurred to him.

  
"Strawberry." He spoke after a moment's pause.

  
"Huh?" Yeri blinked. He gestured to the packet she was still holding.

  
"You ate all the strawberry ones."

  
Yeri stared at him for a moment, before her expression changed to a mixture of irritation and amusement.

  
"Ya, is that the best you can come up with?" She complained, hitting at him playfully. "That's a terrible nickname. You're not calling me that."

 

“You asked me to come up with something!”

 

"Come up with something better!"

 

"Nope. That's what I'm gonna call you now. Strawberry~" He extended the last syllable teasingly, starting to laugh. 

 

 Yeri giggled and swatted at him.

 

"Shut up."

 

Their laughter subsided after a little while and they both fell silent, although not uncomfortably so, just lost in their own thoughts for a moment.

 

“We should probably get going.” Yeri broke the silence.

 

“Ah, yeah.”

 

They got ready to leave in more companionable silence. Still distracted by his thoughts, Jungkook paused before getting up, looking out across the virtually empty alley. Everything had been turned upside down, and he felt like he was barely keeping it together. What they were doing was crazy, undeniably so, he still couldn’t quite believe they were even doing it. But at least they had each other. They weren’t alone in all this spiralling madness. 

 

“Come on, oppa, we’re actually gonna be late.” Yeri said, her eyes on her phone. Jungkook smiled slightly as he got up to join her.

 

“It's actually kinda weird to have someone who isn't a fan call me that.” He commented as they started walking. “I don't really have any friends who are girls that are younger than me.” He paused for a moment. "Or any friends that are girls at all, actually."

 

Yeri shrugged.

 

“I can't say the same. You don't have the privilege of being the only guy I call oppa.”

 

“I think I can live with that.” Jungkook said dryly. Yeri giggled and linked arms with him casually as they set off.

 

For a fake date, it had been actually pretty good.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually been working on this one practically since the last one went up, believe it or not, but I'm still not 100% happy with it, so I might come back and edit a bit.
> 
> I'm gonna try and be quicker with the next one I swear!


	4. Kim Yerim's boyfriend

Yeri always forgot how trying having three younger sisters could be. It wasn't like she disliked having them, they actually got along really well most of the time. It was just that every time she visited her family at home, she was slightly taken aback by how… intense they could be.

 

Yeri was on a rare home visit, and for once two of her sisters actually weren't  there. Although it wasn't like you could really tell, it was so loud in their house you could be fooled into thinking that there were several more people there than usual. This was mainly because of one of the youngest in the family. Yeri’s sister was 9 years old and never stopped talking.

 

Never.

 

That wasn't an exaggeration.

 

She actually never stopped talking.

 

“Oh, and he told me something else too. You'll think it's crazy when I tell you, I thought it was crazy too but he told me it was true. People say that people, you know real people not like robots or something, that people haven't ever been to Mars. But that's actually not true, there are these scientists in America, they went there in secret.”

 

Her sister paused to take a breath and Yeri grabbed the opportunity to speak.

 

“Yeeun, uh, who told you this again?”

 

“Choi Jihoon, he’s a boy in my class. He said his brother told him. He said they found aliens there and they brought them back to study and stuff, but I don't think that's true. I think he made that up, ‘cause aliens aren't real, right unnie?”

 

“Um, well-”

 

Yeeun was about to start speaking again when she was mercifully cut off.

 

“Kim Yeeun, will you be quiet for two seconds and let her breathe!”

 

Yeri’s mother swatted at her younger daughter as she entered the room, shaking her head in Yeri’s direction as she stifled a smile.

 

“But mom, I was telling her what Jihoon told me about-”

 

“Yes well, you can tell her more about that later. Go and finish your homework.”

 

Yeeun pulled a face.

 

“I finished it already.”

 

“Go and study then.”

 

“I've already done that too! Why can't I stay talking to Yerim-unnie?” Yeeun complained. Yeri had to fight a smile again, it was quite endearing how much her sister seemed to want to spend time with her. Her mother shook her head again, her expression softening slightly.

 

“I know you want to talk more, but we need to have girl talk now.” She sat down next to Yeri and put her arm round her as she spoke.

 

Yeeun scoffed at this.

 

“I'm not a little kid, mom.” She said contemptuously. “Fine then! I'm going!” She turned and stalked out of the room, shutting the door a little harder than necessary.

 

“She's growing up, huh?” Yeri commented as they both regarded the closed door. Her mom tutted.

 

“Growing up too fast if you ask me. Talking to boys already.” She shook her head again and smiled as she looked back at Yeri. “What am I going to do with you all, hm? What was I thinking of, having all these daughters, girls these days are all so boy-crazy!”

 

Yeri laughed slightly awkwardly, not looking her in the eye.

 

“How am I boy-crazy? I’ve never had a boyfriend before. Jungkook is the only guy I’ve ever dated.”

 

Her mom just laughed indulgently at this, seeming to ignore the question.

 

“Yes, I know, and speaking of which…”  she leaned forward expectantly “You owe my all the details about him.” Yeri rolled her eyes, laughing again, although her laugh was slightly forced this time.

 

She had been prepared for this, of course her family would ask about him. So she had already planned for this situation and decided what to say in advance. There weren’t really that many lies in her story, she talked about how their friendship had developed. Only adding feelings that weren't there in reality, feelings that were easy to believe because he was a guy and she was a girl. It was the same story she had told her group, her friends, her seniors, even a watered down version in some interviews. She had practiced it and said it many times now, she could almost believe it herself.

 

Every time she told it she felt more detached from the person she was speaking to.  

 

But it was okay, because everybody believed her.

 

So it was okay.

 

When her mom had finally finished questioning her about every detail of their relationship, she finally managed to change the subject.

 

“Mom, can I ask you something important?” Her mom looked like she was about to say something so she hurried to continue. “And it's not about Jungkook.” She tried not to laugh at the obvious disappointment this statement caused. “It's… about a friend of mine.”

 

Her mom sighed, obviously hoping she could continue with the same topic a little longer, but smiled nonetheless.

 

“Go ahead honey. You can ask me anything.”

 

Yeri almost considered just breaking down and telling her the truth, but she just couldn’t bring herself to say it. She was too afraid of all the possible responses she had listed in her head every time she considered telling anyone. They were always enough to stop her from saying what she wanted to.

 

“Well, um, my friend, a while ago, she told me something.” Yeri hesitated but forced herself to continue. “She told me, uh, that she liked somebody. And… that person, that she liked I mean, that person was a girl.”

 

There was a silence for several seconds. Yeri was too scared to look up for another few seconds. She spoke again, tentatively.

 

“What… what should I tell her?” She finally looked up, trying to judge her mom’s expression, but it was unreadable. What was she thinking? Did she know that the friend was completely fictional and Yeri was talking about herself? Had she figured it out? Yeri could only wait through the agonising silence.

 

“Who told you this?” Her mom spoke at last.

 

“Just a friend of mine, you don't know her. She wouldn't want me to tell anyone anyway, so, uh…” Yeri rushed to explain.

 

Another painful silence. Although her face remained unreadable, Yeri could see she was choosing what to say next very carefully.

 

“Well, Yerim, you see- growing up some girls like to, ah, experiment with other girls, before they get into proper relationships. They see it as practice, before they’re mature enough to be with a boy. It’s a little strange, yes, but most girls grow out of it in time.” She was obviously uncomfortable talking about this, stumbling over her words slightly and even struggling to look her daughter directly in the eye. There was yet another pause after she’d finished speaking.

 

“So it’s a phase?” Yeri spoke quietly, hoping none of what she was feeling showed on her face.

 

“I guess you could call it that, yes.” Her mom managed to smile encouragingly at her.

 

“What-” Yeri’s voice almost caught in her throat, she took a moment to compose herself. “What should I tell her? My f-friend I mean.”

“Maybe you could encourage her to talk to boys more?” Her mom said with a small laugh. “It’s not easy for everyone Yerim, but you’re a natural. She could probably use your help”

 

Yeri dropped her gaze, unable to look her in the eye anymore.

 

Her mind flashed back to what Sooyoung told her. “ _You wouldn’t feel like that about a girl.”_

 

It's not possible for her to like girls. All girls like boys really. She just had to talk to them more. Then she would like them? But, like her mom said, she talked to them all the time. She was friends with them, close with them. She was fairly sure some of them liked _her_. So it should be easy, right?

 

But it wasn’t, because everything everyone kept telling her went against what she actually felt.

 

She had to keep all of this inside though, and pretend it was all okay, that she was just a normal eighteen year old girl who liked boys and had a boyfriend. As long as that was what people saw, what she felt didn’t have to matter. As long as her mom thought that, she wouldn’t think of her as one of _those girls._

 

“I'll tell her that. Thanks, mom.” She smiled as she looked up at her again.

 

“It's no problem.” Her mom pulled her into a hug. Yeri leaned into her, closing her eyes briefly. _Don’t think about it, Yeri. Just forget about it._  “Oh, and honey?” her mom pulled back and put her hands on her daughter’s shoulders so she was looking her in the eye. “Maybe don't get _too_ close to this friend of yours. You don't want to… give her the wrong idea, hm?”

 

Yeri couldn't look back at her as she prepared to lie again.

 

“I won't. I promise”

 

*****

 

Yeri couldn't quite place how she was feeling. Her emotions were honestly just a mess. She was upset, definitely, deeply upset by her mom’s - albeit unintentional - rejection of her. But she was also angry. Angry and frustrated. And tired. So tired of it all.  

 

Yeri sighed as she examined the small stone she was holding. Perfectly round. How did stones get like that? Completely round, like a marble. What kind of stone was this? _A good stone to throw_ her mind decided. She tossed it up in the air once, caught it, and threw it with all her might off the roof into the air. It looked for a moment like it might keep going up, or just hang there for a moment, but gravity kicked in and it fell sharply into the city below.

 

The SM building was tall, and its rooftop was high, high above the busy streets. It was cold up there, bitingly cold in fact, and she wasn’t wearing a jacket. But there were no people up here. So here she was.

 

After she'd finished her home visit, Yeri was supposed to have gone straight to practice, but for the first time in a long time, she had ended up not going. It was a bad idea. It was irresponsible. It was out of character for her. But she really didn't want to be with her members right now. She didn’t think she could be around them without thinking about what they might think of her if they knew. And she just couldn’t deal with it, lying to the people she cared about most all the time.

 

Yeri picked up another stone and hurled it off the roof, putting all her frustration into the force of the throw. It made her feel slightly better, she decided. For a moment, anyway. She crouched slightly, looking for another stone to throw when the sound of a familiar voice calling her name grabbed her attention.

 

“Yerim-ah?”

 

She straightened up and turned abruptly to see one of her seniors in the label, EXO’s Baekhyun, looking at her with a slightly bemused expression.

 

“Hello sunbaenim.” Yeri said formally, inclining her head slightly, feeling a little embarrassed and wondering how much he had seen.

 

“C’mon Yeri, you've known me for seven years, you don't have to do that.” Baekhyun smiled at her, his eyebrows still raised quizzically. “Uh… you having fun with your… stone throwing?”

 

Yeri flushed at that and looked away.

 

“You saw that?”

 

“Hard not to. You were quite into it.” There was a teasing note in his voice as he moved to stand next to her. “Trying to kill off civilians or something? You know if you throw something off a building this tall, it can do some real damage if it hits someone.”

 

“Hm…” Yeri responded vaguely.

 

There was a pause as neither of them spoke. They both stared out across the city for a moment before Baekhyun looked over at her again.

 

“So, what's wrong?” Baekhyun spoke softly. Yeri glanced up at him briefly before looking away again. There was another pause before he spoke again. “You're skipping practice. That's not like you.” Yeri looked at him in surprise.

 

“How do you know I have practice now?”

 

“Ah…” Baekhyun scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Joohyun-noona’s kinda got everybody in the vicinity looking for you. She's freaking out a little bit, I think.”

 

“Oh.” That was all she could think of to say in response to that.

 

“I don't know why nobody else thought to come here. This is where everyone comes to brood.”

 

“What? I'm not brooding.” Yeri said, her tone becoming indignant.

 

“What are you doing then?”

 

“Throwing stones.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I just-” Yeri sighed and looked down. “You know. I need to think.”

 

“You don’t want to talk about it?” Baekhyun offered her a small smile as she glanced at him again.

 

“I-” She sighed again. “I can’t talk about it.”

 

She really wanted to though. Was there any way she could talk about it without him realising what she was really talking about? But she had just tried that, and it hadn’t exactly ended well. Something else, then?

 

“Can I ask you something? It’s kinda… weird.”

 

“Go ahead.” He answered almost immediately. “It doesn’t matter how weird it is. I won’t laugh at you.”

 

Yeri paused for a moment as she considered what she should say. Something had occurred to her, something she could ask without revealing too much about her actual problem.

 

“Oppa, when you were… dating Taeyeon-unnie-” Baekhyun stiffened slightly at that, but she decided to continue anyway. “When you two were dating, how did you…deal with it all?” There was yet another pause after she finished speaking. She was worried for a moment that she may have gone too far, asking something so personal.

 

“I thought it might be something to do with that.” Baekhyun offered her a small smile. “How did I deal with what, exactly?”

 

“Like…” She paused for a moment to choose her words carefully “People saying you shouldn't be together. People making you feel bad for liking her. That kind of stuff.”

 

“Well…” Baekhyun thought for a moment before speaking again “It could be really hard to deal with sometimes. When people say those things so much, sometimes you start to really believe them. I felt bad, like I was doing something wrong, like I was being selfish. But…” Another small smile as he looked away, a memory playing in his eyes. “It was worth it. In the end, I think. Cause I really liked her.” He glanced back at Yeri. “A lot of what we do is about pleasing other people. We have to entertain people, our fans. That’s our job, our everything. It’s not the same as if we were regular people. But, we are still _people_. And you need to remember that, that it's your life. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Your feelings are your own, nobody can control them.”

 

There was a short silence after he'd finished speaking, Yeri cautiously broke it.

 

“Okay… That makes sense, I think.” She returned his smile tentatively.

 

“Anytime.” He raised his eyebrows at her. “You gonna go to practice now? I don't want Joohyun-noona to know I found you and didn't immediately take you to her. She's scary.”

 

Yeri scoffed.

 

“Joohyun-unnie is not scary.”

 

“She is! You're just not scared cause you're scarier than her.”

 

“Fair enough.” Yeri rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’m going now. I just won't tell her you found me. You’re safe this time” She turned to leave, smiling at Baekhyun’s exaggerated grateful reaction.

 

“Thank you!” Baekhyun called after her. “Good luck!” Yeri waved in response as she sped up her pace, she was really late, and Baekhyun was kinda right. Joohyun was probably going to kill her.

 

It took a long time to walk from the roof of the building to where she needed to be, and the whole time she was walking her mind was occupied. Not by worrying about her lateness (although that was admittedly part of it) but mostly replaying the conversation she'd over and over. Specific little parts of it, at least.

 

_Your feelings are your own, nobody can control them._

 

She knew that he didn't know what she was really talking about, and she had no idea what he'd say if he did know.

 

But even so, she had needed to hear those words. Even if they weren’t about exactly the thing on her mind, she had needed to hear them.

 

_It's your life._

 

_Don't let anyone take that away from you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow she's back
> 
> i suck at updating quickly lol i'm sorry i really tried this time
> 
> i'm apprehensive about this chapter honestly i've changed it so much as i went over it and now i'm finally happy with it i'm still nervous about posting
> 
> so yeah tell me what you think i'm going to run away and hide (well try and write essays and stuff actually) now


	5. Hypothetical Relationships

“Yugyeom!”

 

Yugyeom jumped as Bambam called his name right into his ear, hitting him on the shoulder as he did so.

 

“You gone deaf or something?”

 

“I have now.” Yugyeom muttered, leaning away from him and covering his ear.

 

“I've been trying to get your attention for ages and you're sitting right next to me, how can you not hear me?” Bambam complained, continuing to speak before Yugyeom could get another word in edgeways. “Anyway, what I was going to say is Jaehyun said he can come.”

 

Yugyeom blinked at him.

 

“Come to…?”

 

“The thing tomorrow.”

 

Yugyeom continued to look at him blankly. Bambam rolled his eyes in exasperation.

 

“The thing, with Twice!”

 

“Ohhh.”

 

“You really haven't been listening at all, have you?” Bambam shook his head and returned to his phone. “Oh, he says he’s bringing Yeri with him too, she's friends with the Twice girls or something. She probably talked about it with them already, but is that okay hyung?”

 

This question was directed at Jaebum, but he didn't seem to register it. The leader was pretending to look at his phone but actually was just staring into space.

 

“Jaebum-hyung?”

 

Jaebum jumped slightly and glanced over.

 

“What?”

 

“What is up with everyone today? I said: is it okay that Jaehyun’s bringing Yeri to the thing tomorrow?”

 

“…The thing?”

 

Bambam looked like he might throw his phone out of annoyance at this point.

 

“The thing with Twice.” Jinyoung cut in helpfully.

 

“Oh. Yeri? Uh, sure. Just don't invite anyone else now.” Jaebum went back to pretending to look at his phone.

 

The “thing with Twice” as they seemed to have decided on calling it, was actually a fairly regular occurrence. Regular-ish, at least. GOT7 and Twice, being from the same company, knew each other quite well and thus enjoyed meeting up every now and then. These meet ups usually involved little more than them sharing food, and Jackson and Nayeon exchanging gossip. They were also often short, as they were both usually very busy and their schedules only lined up for an hour or two. Nonetheless, they were fun, they helped the groups stay close and support each other.

 

This time, after finding out Jaehyun had free time at the same time as them, Bambam and Yugyeom had wanted to take the opportunity to hang out with him and had invited him to come too. Yugyeom had actually completely forgotten the meet up, and that they had invited Jaehyun to it. He'd had… other things on his mind.

 

Yugyeom glanced apprehensively in Jaebum’s direction. They had yet to talk about what had happened, as they'd been so busy recently. But now they weren't doing anything, it was the perfect time. Well, if he could figure out a way to talk to Jaebum alone, the whole group was hanging out in the dorm together currently (well, the whole group minus Youngjae, who was with family, but still.)

 

Yugyeom kinda didn't want to talk about it. He didn't know how to explain something he didn't even get himself.

 

“-Jungkook can't come.”

 

“Huh?” Yugyeom turned suddenly as he heard Bambam say the name of just the person he was thinking about.

 

“Uh, I said, it's a shame Jungkook can't come? He's in America at the moment, right?” Bambam looked slightly confused at his sudden reaction.

 

“Oh… Um, yeah.” Yugyeom looked at the ground rather than at Jaebum, who he knew was now looking at him.

 

“I wanted him to come too, plus since Yeri’s gonna be there, you know. It'd be cool.” Bambam sighed. He looked up again as something seemed to occur to him. “Hey, do you know if there’s something going on with him? He isn't responding to any texts or talking on the group chat or anything. Not like him.”

 

“I don't know, I haven't talked to him in a while.” Yugyeom mumbled.

 

“Have you tried? If he'll talk to anyone it'll be you.” Bambam turned back to his phone as he spoke.

 

“If he's not talking to you, why would he talk to me?”

 

“Cause he likes you more than me, obviously.”

 

Yugyeom tensed.

 

Bambam laughed at his expression. “C’mon, everyone knows that he's closest with you. He’ll probably actually reply if you try. Come on, please?”

 

Yugyeom sighed, wanting to deny this but at the same time mentally acknowledging that it was kinda true. Plus, he really did need to talk to him. Even though he really didn’t want to.

 

“Fine.” Yugyeom sighed again. “He’s not gonna reply, I’m telling you.” He pulled out his phone and unlocked it. “But I’ll try.”

 

“Don't.”

 

Bambam and Yugyeom both glanced over in surprise as Jaebum spoke up abruptly.

 

“Don't what?” Bambam sounded as confused as Yugyeom felt.

 

“Talk to Jungkook.”

 

Jaebum made eye contact with Yugyeom and stared him down for a moment. Yugyeom swallowed and said nothing.

 

“What? Why?!” Bambam looked between the two of them in confusion.

 

“You know why.” Jaebum said without breaking the uncomfortable eye contact.

 

“I don't, actually-” Bambam started

 

“I know you don't, but _he_ does.” Jaebum focused on Yugyeom. “You know what I'm talking about, right?”

 

“I don't know what you think happened-” Yugyeom said eventually “-But it wasn't what it looked like, I swear.”

 

“It wasn't like that? What exactly was it like then?” Jaebum’s tone sharpened.

 

“I- I don't know.” At Jaebum’s expression in reaction to this, he continued, “I really don't know hyung, I'm sorry.”

 

“Oh, you're sorry? That makes everything okay then.” Jaebum scoffed. The others were all listening at this point and seemed taken aback at the turn the conversation had taken, but before any of them could say anything, Jaebum started again. His composure had evaporated in seconds. “What the hell were you thinking, Yugyeom? What if anyone else had seen you? What excuse do you have for that? You haven't been able to come up with any yet.”

 

“I, uh-”

 

Jaebum didn't let him finish as he continued to rant.

 

“Do you have any idea the kind of danger you could have put us in!? Our careers could have been put on the line. BTS too, come to think of it. Heck, even Red Velvet. I don't understand-”

 

This time he was cut off as Jackson spoke.

 

“What are you _talking_ about?! What the hell happened?!”

 

Jaebum sighed, clearly trying to compose himself.

 

“I walked in on him and Jungkook.” He said, his tone measured.

 

“Walked in on them? Doing what?” Jackson remained just as bemused.

 

“Kissing.”

 

There was a beat of silence as everyone froze momentarily, trying to process this. Yugyeom mentally panicked slightly as he forgot everything he was going to say to try and explain, as Jackson looked over at him with something that looked like recognition on his face. The others just seemed shocked and confused by the revelation.

 

“Uh, is that all? Is that really such a big deal?” Jinyoung tentatively put his hand on Jaebum’s arm. Jaebum was obviously uncomfortable and wasn't looking at any of them anymore. “I mean, it doesn't sound like them, but…” Jinyoung continued, trailing off uncertainly.

 

“Trust me Jinyoung, you didn't see them. It's a big deal.” Jaebum said with an edge to his voice. He shook Jinyoung off and clenched his fist, not looking at any of them.

 

Yugyeom flushed and looked at the ground rather than risking eye contact with anyone.

 

“Is that true?” Jackson spoke into the tense silence.

 

It took Yugyeom a moment to realise the question was directed at him. He glanced up at the older boy and hesitated for a moment before nodding slowly, not able to gather the words to explain himself. Jackson exhaled slowly and sat back, his expression hard to read. Everyone was still as they waited for something to happen.

 

Jackson started again, his voice a lot calmer now.

 

“What actually happened? Is there something going on between you, or is this the first time something like this happened?”

 

“It's the first time.” Yugyeom said quickly. “Nothing like that has happened before, we’re not… He was the one who kissed me, I don't know why, it was just out of nowhere, I-”

 

“Wait, slow down.” Jackson held up a hand to stop him. “This is the first time then?”

 

Yugyeom nodded.

 

“And it was him who initiated it?”

 

“It was all him, I didn’t do anything. I just kinda froze.”

 

“So he just kissed you? Randomly? Out of nowhere?”

 

Yugyeom nodded again.

 

“Is that so? You didn't seem to mind that much.” Jaebum bit out, surprising everyone with his sudden intervention.

 

“I didn't know what to do. I just kinda froze, I guess.” Yugyeom repeated quietly, still looking down.

 

“Is there a problem with that?” Jackson turned back to face Jaebum.

 

“Is there a problem with what? Them kissing? Of course there’s a problem! Anybody could have seen that!” Jaebum raised his voice again, looking incredulous.

 

“Is that really what this is about?” Jackson said abruptly. Jaebum was quiet for a moment.

 

“Of course it is. What's that supposed to mean?”

 

“Does it bother you that our group could've been put in danger, or that one of our members could be gay?”

 

Jaebum’s eyes widened. He stared at Jackson disbelievingly for a moment.

 

“I-I'm not gay.” Yugyeom said hurriedly, taking advantage of the brief silence. The two barely acknowledged this, too focused on each other. The other members remained silent, they were still yet to speak. Bambam looked confused, Jinyoung seemed worried, and Mark’s expression was unreadable. Despite this they were certainly all paying attention to the rapidly increasing tension.

 

“That's not what this is about.” Jaebum said eventually.

 

“Isn't it?” Jackson challenged. “Would it bother you if anyone was?”

 

“Why do you care? Are you?” Jaebum shot back.

 

“Would it matter if I was?”

 

“Are you?”

 

Jackson sat back and surveyed him for a moment. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath, and it was obvious Jinyoung was seconds away from intervening, looking between the two anxiously, his hands slightly raised as if getting ready to pacify them. Jackson and Jaebum continued to stare each other down.

 

“So it does matter.” Jackson shook his head “You know, for some reason I was under the impression that you didn't have a problem with gay people.”

 

“I don't have a problem with them, just-”

 

“Just as long as it's no-one you know, right?”

 

“Jackson.” Jinyoung spoke up, clearly sensing the confrontation was getting heated. Jackson rounded on him.

 

“What, do you think so too? I can't believe you guys.” He shook his head in disgust.

 

“Of course I don't think that, Jackson, calm down. I just think we should stop fighting and talk about this sensibly.” Jinyoung said calmly.

 

Jackson stopped speaking, but he didn't look any less angry.

 

“And Jaebum doesn't think that either, right?” Jinyoung turned to him. “Right?”

 

Jaebum was silent for a while.

 

“I don't know what I think.” He said eventually. “The group is my top priority, that's all that matters.”

 

The others took in his response for a moment. He was fairly obviously avoiding the question, they could all tell he was avoiding it. The atmosphere in the room was so awkward, it hurt.

 

“I see.” Jackson said finally. Yugyeom wasn't quite sure _what_ exactly he saw.

 

The argument didn't continue any further after that, but the atmosphere didn't improve even remotely. None of them spoke to each other, and after a while they all just retreated to their rooms, nothing resolved between them.

 

Yugyeom had Bambam begging him to explain what the hell had happened and why he hadn't told him about it almost the moment they returned to their shared room.

 

“I'll tell you later Bam, can we just drop it for now, please?” Yugyeom said, his voice muffled from being face-down on his pillow. Bambam reluctantly complied, sitting down on his bed opposite from Yugyeom.

 

“It looks pretty bad, huh?”

 

Yugyeom didn't have to ask what he was talking about. He raised his head and then half sat up, as they both glanced in the general direction of where the older members now were. Bambam sighed.

 

“It'll blow over though right? It always does.” He said uncertainly, looking back over at his friend. Yugyeom looked away.

 

“I really hope so.” He said quietly.

 

Something told him that this wasn't something that could just “blow over”.

 

And that was kind of scary.

 

*****

 

There were too many people in the room. They really didn't all fit in here. It wasn't like it was a particularly small room, it was a normal sized one, for one group at least. Not two groups plus extras. They were all cramped together, but nobody seemed to mind particularly, too involved with conversation.

 

Yeri was sitting between Nayeon and Sana, well, sort of. It was more like Nayeon and Sana were sitting next to each other while she sat on Nayeon’s lap, but hey. There wasn't much space, and they certainly weren't the only ones in this position. The boys and girls mostly kept a fairly respectful distance from each other (meaning they sat next to each other normally and not on top of each other) but they were still able to talk comfortably to one another.

 

Although Yeri didn't really know the GOT7 guys that well, it was always nice to be in a situation where male and female idols could actually talk to each other normally without being overly formal and awkward. It reminded her of her time spent hanging out with NCT members, which was always fun. At this thought, she glanced over to where Jaehyun was sitting across from her, smiling as she saw him talking animatedly to Bambam. She knew he had been almost as excited as her for this, being able to see their friends for the first time in ages. And it was great, to be able to spend time with the Twice girls, particularly Nayeon. She was friends with all of them, but Nayeon was probably her closest idol friend. They hardly ever got to see each other, so time together was always exciting.

 

Yes, it was all great. For both of them. Except for one small thing.

 

Yeri shifted her gaze slightly to the left of Jaehyun. Yep. He was looking at her again. As they made eye contact for a brief moment Yugyeom looked away hurriedly. Yeri bit her lip and frowned slightly. This had to be the third, maybe fourth time she'd caught him doing that. And she hadn't even been there that long. Why did he keep staring at her?

 

“Why are you frowning, Rim-rimie~?” Nayeon poked her cheek gently to get her attention.

 

“Hm? Was I? Sorry, I was thinking.” Yeri had to crane her neck slightly to look at Nayeon, who was wearing a quizzical expression.

 

“Something on your mind?” Nayeon lowered her voice slightly, even though nobody was listening. Yeri shrugged.

 

“It's nothing really, it's just…” She paused before leaning to whisper in her friend’s ear. “Yugyeom keeps looking at me.”

 

Nayeon looked over immediately and caught him staring in their direction yet again. It was her turn to frown now.

 

“Huh. That's weird.” She glanced down at Yeri, breaking into a teasing smile. “Maybe he's into you.”

 

Yeri hit her arm lightly.

 

“Nayeon-unnie!”

 

“What? He could be. What is it with you and 97 liners, hm?”

 

“What's that supposed to mean?”

 

“Jaehyun, Jungkook, Yugyeom…” Nayeon smirked at her indignant expression.

 

“Ya, what does Jaehyun-oppa have to do with this?!”

 

Jaehyun looked up in confusion as he heard his name. Nayeon couldn't stop laughing.

 

“I'm kidding, I'm kidding, chill.” She continued to giggle as Yeri gave her an unimpressed look. “You can't deny Jungkook though.” She pointed out as she composed herself. Yeri shrugged again. Nayeon nodded, seeming pleased with herself, and then sighed theatrically.

 

“You guys look so good together, it's not even fair. You make the rest of us look bad.”

 

Yeri giggled awkwardly.

 

“Sorry ‘bout that. Can't help it.” She noted wryly that most of the conversations in the room had fizzled out at this point, clearly the others were too interested in what they were now talking about.

 

The conversation turned to Yeri’s relationship, and she was unable to turn it around very easily, so she was stuck talking about it. She was so used to talking about it at this point, she didn't even have to think about it that much. It was getting almost scary how easily she could lie to her closest friends without them suspecting a thing. She almost wanted them to. She found herself willing Nayeon to see past her carefully constructed lies, to see what she was actually feeling.

 

_Why do you trust me so easily? I'm lying to you, I'm lying so much. None of this is true. Why can't you see that?_

 

It was ridiculous really, because at the same time, Nayeon finding out was just about the worst thing she could think of right now.

 

Much to her relief, everyone was soon distracted again as the room became even more crowded.

 

“Ah, our maknaes are here!” Nayeon declared, and Yeri turned to see Chaeyoung and Tzuyu standing in the doorway, buried under bags. Several of the guys immediately jumped up to help them.

 

“We come bearing food!” Chaeyoung said, staggering slightly as Jaebum relieved her of her bag. She had been barely visible behind it, while Tzuyu didn't seem to be having as much trouble. She inclined her head as Jackson took the bag from her, enthusiastically striking up conversation with her as he did so.

 

“Do we need any more food?” Jaehyun said, looking amused.

 

“I can't believe you'd ask that.” Momo replied from across the table from him, sounding so genuinely shocked by the question that everyone laughed.

 

“Chaeyoungie, Tzuyu-ah, come sit with us!” Sana waved them over. Chaeyoung looked up and came over instantly, managing to hug Yeri somehow while she was still halfway on top of Nayeon, before sitting in the space next to them.

 

Tzuyu finished talking to Jackson before turning to head in their direction, more slowly and tentatively than Chaeyoung had. Her and Yeri greeted each other politely, and Tzuyu managed somehow to squeeze into the space next to them. Yeri was quickly pulled into conversation with an excited Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu was practically forgotten.

 

Yeri was pretty close with most of the Twice girls. Nayeon was someone who she'd consider a best friend, and her and Chaeyoung were pretty close, they were the same age after all. And aside from that, she considered most of the others to be friends as well.

 

Tzuyu was also the same age as her, and yet, they weren't really friends. In fact, Yeri had barely ever even talked to her, aside from greetings and pleasantries. She just didn't seem particularly… approachable.  She knew from talking to Nayeon and other people who were closer with Tzuyu that she was supposed to be a really nice person when you got to know her, but Yeri didn’t know how to go about getting to know her. And that didn’t happen very often. Yeri was usually able to befriend people in no time at all, but there was something about Tzuyu’s aloof and seemingly cold personality that threw her off. She was almost intimidating, in a way.

 

She was also pretty. Like, really pretty.

 

Wait, what?

 

“Yerimie?”

 

Yeri snapped out of it.  

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You okay? Did you just zone out?”

 

Yeri’s eyes widened briefly at the realisation of where her mind had just gone.

 

_God damn it._

 

“Uh, yeah, I'm good.”

 

_Don't get distracted by the pretty girl._

 

She stole a glance in Tzuyu’s direction.

 

_The really pretty girl._

 

“Chaeyoung was just asking about Jungkook.” Nayeon told her helpfully.

 

“Ah, Jungkook?” Yeri was now mentally freaking out just a little bit. She had only just properly registered what she had been thinking.  

 

_What the hell is wrong with you?! What are you thinking about?! Stop it. Don't look at her again. Focus on making up stuff about your boyfriend!_

 

She thought that maybe Nayeon sensed her discomfort, because she started speaking again before Yeri had a chance to.

 

“I've been thinking, maybe we should have our maknaes date each other too, so we can outdo the Jungri couple.” Nayeon poked Yeri playfully as she spoke. “What do you think, JB-ssi?”

 

Jaebum looked somewhere between trapped and confused.

 

“Well, ah,” He started awkwardly. “Yugyeom and Tzuyu, you mean?”

 

Yugyeom looked up in alarm as he said this, but even as Jaehyun and Bambam started teasing him, he barely seemed to acknowledge them. His expression changed suddenly and he looked in Yeri’s direction yet again. Their eyes connected for a moment. Yeri suddenly felt cold.

 

_He knows something._

 

She didn't know how she knew this, it was just instinct, as soon as they made eye contact, she _knew_ that he knew something.

 

“That's a great idea, we should get on to JYP about it.” Jackson said quickly, trying to disperse the slightly awkward atmosphere. “We’ll totally outdo you.” Yeri laughed and got ready to respond, but before she could, unexpectedly, Tzuyu spoke up.

 

“I'm not really interested in guys.” She said mildly.

 

Everyone was silent for a moment.

 

Whatever Yeri was about to say went straight out of her head.

 

 _She didn't mean it like that. She couldn't have meant it like that_ . Yeri reasoned with herself. _Lots of girls say that. It just means they don't want a relationship._

 

The silence continued.

 

“Well, it doesn't matter, we’re not really allowed to date anyway!” Jihyo said hurriedly.

 

Everything had suddenly got a whole lot more awkward. The conversation was moved on hurriedly, but the atmosphere had grown a lot more tense all of a sudden. It didn’t make sense. Why would everyone react in that way? It was just an offhand comment. It didn’t mean anything.

 

So what was going on?

 

The subject of Yugyeom and Tzuyu dating was not brought up again, neither was Yeri and Jungkook. Yeri had to admit that she was only half glad about this. Tzuyu’s words just kept replaying in her head, however much she tried to justify them. If it meant nothing, then why did everyone react like that? Tzuyu was so hard to read, Yeri just really wanted to know what she was thinking.

 

The question of what Tzuyu was thinking was by far not the only question raised by this meeting, nor was it even the one that unsettled Yeri the most.

 

Just what exactly did Kim Yugyeom know that made him look at her like that? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'll probably edit this a bit more later, i think i went through it too quickly :/
> 
> aha so what did you think? quite a lot happened in this chapter, i'd say. twice finally made an appearance (there'll be more of them later so dw twice stans) 
> 
> (also look how i project my crush on tzuyu onto yeri lol)
> 
> so is tzuyu rly not interested in guys? we'll have to wait and see
> 
> one day i will let yugyeom live (jk never i love him tho)
> 
> so if any of you are wondering where bts are, they're in the next two chapters. and nobody else. it's just them. for two chapters. so have fun with that. we'll be getting new povs soon as well
> 
> okay i've rambled long enough now thank you guys so much for all your comments i read them all i promise even if i don't reply (cause i'm lazy) tysm for reading my dumb fic, ily all


	6. Something Wrong

There was something wrong with Jungkook.

The more that Jimin thought about it, the more convinced he became of it. It was obvious now that something had been bothering him for a while, and it just seemed to be getting worse.  
He had started acting weird a while ago (well, weirder than usual, Jungkook was always weird) and at the time Jimin hadn’t really thought much of it. He'd wondered about it, sure, but it didn't seem like a cause for worry. Jungkook was Jungkook, and he always did inexplicable things. Besides, he would tell them if there was anything actually wrong, right?

  
But recently, it was like something had completely changed in him. The weirdness wasn't regular Jungkook-weirdness. Suddenly, one day he had completely shut himself off from all of them. He only talked to anyone when he had to, and spent more time alone rather than around them. He never wanted to join them when they had a meal together or watched a movie during their infrequent free time. He seemed to be doing this to everyone, but… Jimin was convinced that he was doing it to him in particular. He avoided the others when he could, but he went out of his way to avoid Jimin.

He couldn't help but feel somehow responsible. Had he done something? Why else would Jungkook be so intent on avoiding him?

  
“Hey, Jiminie, are you sleeping?”

  
Someone whispered in his ear. The sensation was enough to pull him back just from the edge of sleep. Jimin lifted his head off the source of the voice- Taehyung’s shoulder and blinked several times, taking in the scene around him with slight confusion.

  
“We’re driving?” He said vaguely.

  
“Yep.” Taehyung responded. Jimin looked around and registered their surroundings properly.

  
“Where are we?”

  
“Chicago.”

  
Oh, right. Chicago. America. Tour. They were driving to their hotel and they had a concert the next day. Although it was daytime here, it was probably some time in the middle of the night in Korea. The journey lasted for hours, so naturally they all spent at least some of it sleeping.

  
Looking ahead, Jimin could see that Seokjin was asleep, his head resting on his hand while across from him Namjoon was scrolling through his phone. To the side of them, Yoongi and Hoseok also appeared to be sleeping, in a similar position Jimin and Taehyung had been in, Yoongi with his head on Hoseok’s shoulder. Jimin couldn't help but smirk at the sight of them. He nudged Taehyung lightly.

  
“Have you taken a picture of that yet?”

  
Taehyung glanced over and laughed.

  
“Nope, should we?”

  
“Definitely.” Jimin pulled out his phone and leaned over Taehyung to take a photo of the pair. They both giggled at the result.

  
“Aw,” Jimin cooed at the photo. “So cute.”

  
“You should tweet it.” Taehyung said, still chortling “ARMYs would lose it.”

  
“And so would Yoongi-hyung, so if you value your life I would not recommend that.” Namjoon cut in. “Plus, we can't afford to lose a main vocalist and dancer the day before a concert.”

  
“Fine… we can just use it against them later.” Taehyung said.

  
Jimin laughed, looking back over at the sleeping pair, but something else caught his attention. Or rather, someone else. The three of them weren't the only ones awake, unsurprisingly. At first glance, you could be fooled into thinking Jungkook was asleep, given that he was so still, but Jimin could see light reflecting off his eyes.

  
Jimin only allowed himself to look at the younger for a couple of seconds before he looked away again, putting his head back on Taehyung’s shoulder. He didn't want to get into another argument.

 

  
It was nearly another hour before they actually got to their hotel, and by the time they were there, they all just really wanted to get to their rooms already. One of the staff members handed them key cards, telling them who was in which room. Jimin couldn't be bothered to keep track of all the numbers she was saying. Fortunately for him, it seemed Namjoon had actually been listening.

  
“So, Taehyung and Jin-hyung, Jimin and Jungkook, Yoongi-hyung and Hoseok, and I get the room to myself.” He held up his key card with a smile, and turned towards the building. The others all had something to say in response to this, but Jimin barely heard them. Jungkook stopped in his tracks, looking like a deer in headlights. He looked between Namjoon and Jimin and back again.

  
“Wait, Namjoon-hyung!” He called out. “Do I have to…” He trailed off. Namjoon turned to look at him questioningly.

  
“Do you have to what?” He asked, with a slight edge to his voice.

  
“I mean, the room arrangements, I just…” He trailed off again. Namjoon got it, and he was obviously not impressed.

  
“Yes.” He turned to leave again. “Hurry up, let’s go.”

  
They all carried on moving after a moment, everyone throwing glances at both Jimin and Jungkook. They all knew what Jungkook had really been asking. Of course Jungkook didn't want to room with Jimin. He couldn't stand to be near him for longer than a minute, of course he wouldn't want to share a room with him for days.

  
Jungkook looked at the ground to avoid everyone’s eyes on him. Jimin wanted him to look up, even if just for a moment, to look him in the eye again.

  
But he didn't.

  
“Come on.” Taehyung said in a low voice, grabbing his arm and pulling him off in the direction of the hotel, leaving the maknae standing by himself.

  
*****

  
Their schedule was insane. They hardly had any time to rest before they had to get to work. Preparing for a concert was no small task, and they wouldn't stop before they were sure everything was the best it could possibly be. They had finally reached the end of their preparations at the end of a particularly strenuous practice, and they were all completely exhausted at this point.

  
Jimin tipped his water bottle upwards to drain the last of it, leaning against the wall of the studio and sliding down it into a sitting position, still trying to get his breath back. The others were in similar positions, Seokjin and Namjoon were both also sitting down, and Jimin was pretty sure Yoongi was actually unconscious. He glanced up and managed to tiredly smile in acknowledgement as Taehyung slumped down next to him. Hoseok and Jungkook were now the only people left standing up, Hoseok was talking to the choreographer, and Jungkook was standing in the corner looking at his phone.

  
“Hey.” Taehyung said eventually, breaking the silence as they both continued to catch their breath. “God, I'm so tired.”

  
“Yeah, same.” Jimin responded. “That was pretty intense.”

  
Taehyung downed the last of his water and stretched.

  
“I'm starving.” He announced. “We should go out somewhere.”

  
Jimin crumpled up his empty water bottle and tossed it to one side.

  
“Yeah, okay.” He smiled at Taehyung again.

  
Taehyung shot him a small smile in response, turning to face the room. He focused on the corner where Jungkook was standing, staring at his phone without actually scrolling through it.

  
“Hey, Kookie!”

  
Jungkook looked up from his phone.

  
“You wanna come eat with us?” Taehyung asked.

  
Jungkook looked around and shifted uncomfortably for a moment.

  
“I'm good.” He said after a pause. “I'm… gonna go back.”

  
Taehyung was quiet for a moment as he took this in. His expression was carefully neutral, Jimin couldn't quite tell what he was thinking, but he could certainly make a guess.

  
“Okay…” Taehyung said slowly, finally. “You'll eat though, right?” He added after a moment, confirming Jimin’s suspicions about what had been on his mind.

  
Jungkook looked away.

  
“Yeah.”

  
Yeah. Right.

  
Taehyung exchanged a look with Jimin before sighing and getting up. He held out his hand which Jimin grabbed to pull himself up too.

  
“Come on, let’s go now, before it gets too busy.” Taehyung said, glancing at his phone.

  
As they got ready to go they repeated the offer to join them to the other members, none of them took them up on it.

  
“We’ll get something at the hotel.” Seokjin told them.

  
So, less than half an hour after their schedule had ended, they were sitting in a restaurant, struggling with the rather unhelpful English menus.

  
“We should have persuaded Namjoon to come, these are impossible.” Taehyung sighed. “I'm too tired to read English.”

  
“Hm…” Jimin put his menu down and leaned backwards. “I wanna eat ramen.”

  
Taehyung snorted with laughter.

  
“I thought we came here so we could get American food.”

  
“We did, I just…” Jimin pulled a face. Taehyung rolled his eyes.

  
“We can get ramen later, let’s just order now.” He reached over the table and grabbed Jimin’s hand, clutching it dramatically. “We got this.”

  
They managed to order what they wanted (or at least they hoped that was what they ordered) and spent most of the time while they waited discussing the concert and the rest of the upcoming tour. Because of this, it was quite a while before they brought up the thing they had yet to discuss.

  
“You're worrying about something.” Taehyung said after a brief break in conversation. Jimin looked up from where he'd been absently swirling his drink around. Taehyung was wearing a contemplative expression as he regarded him.

  
“It's Jungkook, isn't it?” He said after another moment’s silence. Jimin couldn't help but laugh despite himself. Taehyung could be pretty perceptive sometimes.

  
“I thought I was imagining it at first. But he's definitely avoiding me.” Jimin frowned down at the table. “I don't know what I did.”

  
“Hey, don't blame yourself for him treating you like that. Even if you did do something, he needs to talk to you about it. If he won't do that then what are you supposed to do?” Taehyung said, shrugging. “He won't talk to any of us. Ever since he got that girlfriend.”

  
Jimin looked up.

  
“You think that's got something to do with it?” He asked, surprised.

  
“It'd be a pretty big coincidence if she didn't have something to do with it. I'm willing to bet she at least knows something about it, given that she's the only one he talks to now.” Taehyung said.

  
“You don't think…” Jimin paused for a moment. “That she's the reason he's acting like this?”

  
Taehyung stared down at the table for a while, looking conflicted.

  
“I don’t…” He sighed. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. She doesn’t seem like the type to be controlling, or something like that, and I don’t get that vibe off them at all. There’s just something… off about the whole thing.” He frowned and twisted a paper napkin in his hands, tearing it apart. “I don’t know what it is.”

  
“I know what you mean.” Jimin said quietly. “There’s something he’s not telling us. And I think it’s important”

  
“Hm…” Taehyung hummed vaguely in response.

  
Jimin thought for a moment, staring into his drink.

  
“I'm going to ask him about it. About her.” He said abruptly, downing his drink. Taehyung raised his eyebrows.

  
“About Yeri?” He sounded skeptical.

  
“Yeah.” Jimin nodded, more to himself than to Taehyung as he made his mind up. If something was really going on with Jungkook and Yeri, they weren't going to find out without asking. Even if he didn't get anything out of him, surely he'd be able to figure out if there was something not right.

  
“I'll just ask him about… you know, them. How it is with them. Maybe I'll be able to figure out if there is something wrong. Even if I don't know what it is.”

  
“Good luck with that.” Taehyung told him, raising his eyebrows. Jimin sighed.

  
Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best idea.

  
But he had to do something.

  
At least.

  
And that was how he ended up in this position, hovering outside the door of his and Jungkook’s room, trying to decide what to say to him. He had felt confident earlier, ready to talk this out and end the weirdness between them, but now he wasn't so sure. The whole idea seemed rather intimidating now. Taehyung had been right to be skeptical.

  
“Night, Jiminie.” Taehyung was obviously trying to look encouraging, but he seemed more worried than anything else. He pressed a hand against Jimin’s shoulder as he headed down the hallway to his own room, opening the door carefully before slipping inside. The door closed behind him with a click that echoed in the silence.

  
Jimin sighed to himself. Even if he didn't confront Jungkook and ask him about Yeri, he still had to go in their room in the end. So he might as well just stop stalling and go in.

  
Jimin grabbed the door handle and pulled the door open, stepping inside purposefully. He had to stop abruptly as he realised Jungkook was just behind the door, and he nearly walked straight into him. Jimin pulled back quickly and the two stared at each other for a moment before Jungkook spoke.

  
“Yeah, I know.”

  
Jimin looked at him blankly for a moment before figuring out that Jungkook wasn’t talking to him- he was on the phone.

  
“Yeah. Okay. Listen, Yeri, I have to go now. I-” He stopped for a moment to listen to words Jimin couldn’t hear. “Okay. See you.” He hung up the phone and looked back at Jimin. They regarded each other in silence for a moment.

“That was Yeri?” Jimin said finally.

  
“Yeah…” Jungkook responded slowly.

  
They stared at each other for another awkward moment. Jungkook looked away first, turning to his side of the room and putting his phone on charge next to his bed.

  
“You talk to her a lot.” Jimin broke the silence. Jungkook looked up briefly before looking away again.

“Of course I do. She's my girlfriend.”

  
Jimin stayed standing by the door, waiting for him to look up again, but he didn't. Instead, he searched through his bag for a moment, picking up several things and putting them back, rearranging them, before unplugging his phone again and staring at it. Jimin felt his irritation increase considerably at Jungkook’s obvious avoidance tactics.

  
“What did I do?” He asked abruptly. Jungkook looked up, startled.

  
“What?”

  
“What did I do to make you mad at me?”

  
“I'm not mad at you.” Jungkook responded, turning back to his phone.

  
“Why are you avoiding me then?” Jimin demanded. There was a beat of silence.

  
“I'm not.”

  
Jimin scoffed.

  
“I'm not stupid. Even the others have noticed. It's obvious you have some kind of issue with me.”

  
Jungkook didn't answer. If Jimin hadn’t been angry already, he certainly was now.

  
“Ever since you started dating Yeri, you've been acting like you can't stand being around us-”

  
“It's got nothing to do with her.” Jungkook said quickly before Jimin could continue.

  
“What is it then?”

  
Jungkook didn't answer again, staring at the floor instead of looking at him. Jimin felt like his frustration would boil over any minute.

  
“ _Why_ won’t you talk to me?” Some of the hurt that Jimin felt finally showed in his voice, as he sounded almost desperate. “Don't you trust me?”

  
Jungkook still didn't answer. His head was bowed but his expression was telling. After what felt like an eternity he finally looked up again, but Jimin looked away at the same time, turning his head so Jungkook couldn't see how much that hurt.

  
“Fine. I'm going to bed. Don't bother me.” Jimin said abruptly, pushing past Jungkook to get to the bathroom.

  
Jungkook didn't bother him.

  
Jimin closed the bathroom door behind him, leaning against it as he felt the anger go out of him. That had certainly not gone as well as he hoped. He wasn't closer to finding any answers, and now he just felt bad. He shouldn't have snapped like that. He should have stayed, and kept talking to him. Maybe then he would have got something out of him. But he'd messed it up.

  
Despite how exhausted he was, it took Jimin a long time to go to sleep that night.

  
*****

  
It was a loud noise that abruptly woke Jimin up from his practically unconscious state that he had finally fallen into. He sat up quickly, blinking in the darkness of the room, disorientated. He was aware that a noise had come from somewhere nearby, he just had no idea where and was now wide awake and on edge.

  
It took a moment of fumbling around in the dark for him to find his phone and switch it on to see the time, only to immediately switch it off again as the bright light assaulted his eyes. After a moment spent blinking to try and get rid of the shapes in front of his eyes, he held his phone out and turned it on again, facing it away from him so he could illuminate the room. A quick sweep around showed him that there was nobody there.

  
Jimin moved his phone light across the room to Jungkook’s bed. Nobody. He wasn't there. Only moments after this realisation Jimin heard another sound, significantly quieter this time, like somebody moving around. He was wide awake now, and alert.

  
He got up quickly, abandoning his phone as his eyes adjusted to the dark properly. He crossed the room slowly, heading for the door, figuring the noise must have come from outside. However, just before he reached the door, he caught movement in the corner of his eye. He turned abruptly and saw something move through the partially open bathroom door. He hesitated before pushing it open fully, taking in the scene in front of him.

  
The bathroom was brighter than the room outside, light from outside came in through the curtainless window and reflected off the white tiles. This had the effect of lighting up the room in a way that was almost eerie. It didn’t take long for Jimin to find the source of the movement that had caught his attention. Jungkook was sat on the floor with his back against the wall, his face illuminated by the strange light, but looking weirdly dark against the pale wall, almost like a shadow. He didn't seem to notice that Jimin was there, if he did he didn't look up.

  
“Jungkook-ah?” Jimin took a step towards him, hesitantly, and kneeled down next to him as he still didn't react. Now he was up close to him it became increasingly obvious that something wasn't right.

Jungkook’s eyes were glazed over, staring across the room at nothing in particular, and he was breathing oddly, his breaths a little too shallow. Jimin noticed all this quickly, his concern increasing by the second.

  
“Jungkook?” He repeated, more quietly this time, and finally got a reaction. Jungkook turned his gaze slowly, as if with great effort. Even then he didn't seem to focus on Jimin properly. Despite the relatively cold room he seemed to be sweating quite a lot, strands of his hair sticking to his forehead.

  
“Hyung?” Jungkook finally spoke in a voice that seemed barely there.

  
“What are you doing? Why are you on the floor?” Jimin asked him gently, tentatively reaching to touch his shoulder. Jungkook didn't pull away from him.

“I fell.” Jungkook said quietly, turning his eyes away.

  
“You fell? Why?”

  
“Dizzy.” Jungkook muttered, closing his eyes and dipping his head slightly.

  
Jimin removed his hand from Jungkook’s shoulder and reached up to press it lightly against his forehead.

  
“You're burning up.” He spoke just as quietly as Jungkook had, absently brushing some of the hair sticking to his head aside. Jungkook opened his eyes slowly and focused on him.

  
“I think you're sick.” Jimin said, somewhat unnecessarily.

Jungkook blinked at him. He said nothing.

  
“You should lie down, it can't be helping, being up like this. Come on, let's go to bed.” Jimin pulled Jungkook’s arm over his shoulder and hauled him up, stumbling slightly under his weight.

Jungkook didn't resist as he had thought he might, he just clung to him. Jimin managed with some effort to lead Jungkook back into their room and maneuver him into his bed. He considered pulling the cover over him, but decided against it as he could feel the heat radiating off Jungkook’s skin.

  
Not wanting to just leave him like this, Jimin sat on the edge of the bed next to him and reached up a hand to run it gently through Jungkook’s hair. He repeated the gesture several times and received no response apart from Jungkook’s breathing slowing slightly. He couldn't help but feel just a little bit happy as he didn't shy away from his touch as he had half expected him to. He was probably just too out of it or tired to react, but still.

  
Jimin pushed the hair back from his forehead and studied his face. He looked much younger like this, much more vulnerable. Seeing him like this, Jimin felt all the anger and frustration he had felt towards him earlier drain out of him. He had never been very good at staying mad at Jungkook for long, how was he supposed to stay mad at him when he was like this?

  
“Hyung?” Jungkook spoke suddenly, trying to grab the hand that was tangled in his hair.

  
“Yeah?” Jimin responded. He let Jungkook grab his hand and held onto it. “Are you okay, Jungkookie?"

  
Jungkook shifted slightly and groaned.

  
“I'm… sick…” He mumbled. Jimin chuckled slightly despite himself.

  
“Yeah.” He repeated quietly. “You should get some sleep, you'll feel better in the morning.”

  
Jungkook stared at their intertwined hands for a moment.

  
“I'm sorry.” He said abruptly.

 

Jimin looked at him in confusion.

 

“What? What are you sorry for?”

  
Jungkook pulled his hand free and looked away.

  
“I'm sick.”

  
Jimin blinked at him, still confused. Was he apologising for that? Was he worried about letting them down?

  
“It's not your fault that you're sick,” Jimin started, trying to reach for Jungkook’s hand again. This time he tried to pull away. Jimin paused and withdrew his hand. “Jungkook?"

  
Jungkook looked back at him with an unreadable expression. Jimin had sensed it before, but he was pretty sure now that Jungkook wasn't talking about that. He had no idea what he was really apologising for.

  
“It's okay.” Jimin tentatively reached out his hand again and placed it on Jungkook’s head, running it through his hair. “Whatever it is, it's okay.” This time, Jungkook didn't try to stop him. But he was still looking away. He looked upset, really upset, on the verge of tears, and his expression seemed almost pained. Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong.

  
Jimin’s body was starting to hurt from his position halfway on the floor, so he pulled himself up onto the bed next to Jungkook instead. Jungkook didn't react to this. It seemed like he might have finally fallen asleep.

  
Jimin didn't have the first idea what was wrong with the maknae, but it felt for some reason like the answer was right in front of him, and he just couldn't seem to see it.

  
_What's wrong with you?_

  
Jimin fell asleep with the question still taunting him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, last time I posted I told myself that I'd definitely not take as long with the next update. But a whole load of stuff happened, and now it's been over a month. The reason why I'm saying this is because I want to start updating a lot more frequently, something which I had intended to start last time, but, like I said, stuff happened. So I'm going to try and take a lot less than a month next time. But I am lazy and therefore can't really promise anything, lol.
> 
> Okay another thing, I thought I should clarify some things about this story  
> -it's supposed to take place around early 2017ish, i'd say before bts' billboard thing  
> -jungri is not endgame, i'm sorry if you thought that, they're really not  
> -i'm multifandom (trash) so other idols will appear a lot, it doesn't really matter if you don't know all of them  
> -this chapter might get edited a bit more, i edit stuff too quickly
> 
> That's all, thanks for reading! <3


	7. Everything is Fine

Seokjin sighed deeply as he stared down into his coffee, stirring it idly. Drinking anything with caffeine at this time was a stupid idea, but he couldn't seem get to sleep, despite how tired he was. He had decided to at least wait up for Taehyung, and had made coffee mostly just to pass the time. Now he was considering whether he should actually drink it or just pour it down the sink and do his best to get some sleep.

 

His thoughts were interrupted at the sound of the door being opened carefully. He looked up to see Taehyung slip through the partially open door, still trying not to make any sound. He looked surprised when he spotted Seokjin still awake and sitting up.

 

“Oh. Hey, hyung.”

 

“Hi.” Seokjin smiled.

 

“I didn't know you were still up, I didn't want to wake you.” Taehyung said, shooting him a smile in return as he headed over to his bed.

 

“Yeah. Couldn't sleep.” Seokjin shrugged and set his coffee aside. “How was your meal?”

 

Taehyung nodded.

 

“It was alright. The food was nice, but I think we were both kinda craving Korean food.” He fell onto his bed as he spoke, lying back and looking like he could go to sleep right away like that.

 

“Ah. Jungkook didn't go with you then?” Seokjin asked.

 

“No.” Taehyung paused for a moment. “Did you think he did?”

 

Seokjin sighed again.

 

“Not really, I just kind of hoped. I didn’t see him earlier, so I hoped he might have gone with you after all.”

 

“Maybe he went to the gym?” Taehyung suggested quietly. “He sometimes does that, at this time.” Seokjin looked away.

 

“Yeah, maybe.”

 

They were both quiet for a moment. Seokjin made the decision about his coffee, picking it up and drinking half in one go. The mood in the room had gone downhill rapidly.

 

“I'm sorry, I tried to get him to go, but he didn't want to.”

 

“It's okay. It's not your fault.” Seokjin assured him.

 

Taehyung sat up, running a hand through his disheveled hair and frowning.  

 

“Hyung?” He said slowly, after a moment. “I'm worried about him too.”

 

Seokjin nodded, but he said nothing. There wasn't much he could really say to that.

 

They were quiet again. Seokjin drained the rest of his coffee and pulled a face. He wasn't sleeping much tonight, that was for sure. He reached for his phone, just for something to occupy him, but it lit up before he touched it. He grabbed it and unlocked it quickly to read the message, seeing that it was from Yoongi.

 

**Yoongi [12:06 AM]**

_We need to talk about something important_

_Come to my room_

 

Seokjin frowned at the message for a moment. He re-locked his phone and got up, turning in Taehyung’s direction. The younger boy was now looking through his phone, scrolling without much enthusiasm.

 

“Yoongi says he needs to talk.”

 

Taehyung looked up.

 

“Okay.” He said simply.

 

“I'll be right back.” Taehyung nodded, going back to his phone, and Seokjin headed for the door.

 

He crossed the corridor quickly, trying to recall which room was Yoongi and Hoseok’s. He was pretty sure he knew, but he hesitated for a moment outside the door before knocking on it once.

 

“Hello?” Someone called out in English from inside the room. Namjoon?

 

“It's me.” Seokjin called out uncertainly, twisting the handle and pushing the door open slowly. He had been right. Namjoon was there, sitting alone on one of the beds. Across from him Yoongi and Hoseok sat next to each other on the opposite bed. They all looked up at him as he entered.

 

“What's going on?” Seokjin regarded the room with confusion. Why was Namjoon there?

 

“Hyung line meeting.” Hoseok told him, and the other two nodded in agreement.

 

“We have some things we need to discuss.” Namjoon said, shifting over to make room as Seokjin moved to sit next to him.

 

“This is about Jungkook, isn't it?”

 

It wasn't really a question. He was pretty sure about this.

 

“Well-” Namjoon started at the same time Yoongi said- “Yes.”

 

Seokjin raised his eyebrows at them. Yoongi shrugged and Namjoon sighed.

 

“It's about certain… problems we seem to be facing at the moment.”

 

“Yeah, those problems being Jungkook.” Yoongi interjected again.

 

“Well-” Namjoon started again. He sighed again. “Okay, it is mostly about Jungkook.”

 

“We’re worried.” Hoseok said quickly, before they could continue the minor argument. “About him, I mean.”

 

“I thought that might be it.” Seokjin said quietly, looking down. Namjoon nodded.

 

“Yeah, so we called this meeting to-”

 

“Actually, I’m more than just worried.” Seokjin spoke over him abruptly. “I'm _really_ worried.” He looked up.

 

“I know.” Namjoon said, his voice quiet this time. “We all-”

 

“He hasn't eaten today. You guys know that, right? He's not eating. He hasn't been for a while. And he doesn't sleep either. Have you noticed? He never sleeps, he looks so exhausted all the time.”

 

“Hyung.” Namjoon tried to get a word in edgeways.

 

“And he's working himself too hard, he's at the studio all the time, right? For hours. And when he's not doing that he's working out, or something.” Seokjin was speaking quickly now, almost stumbling over his words.

 

“Hyung.” Namjoon tried again.

 

“He's lost weight as well, he lost so much in so little time-”

 

“Hyung!”

 

“-and I don't want this to happen again, Namjoon-ah!” Seokjin raised his voice to match Namjoon’s. Namjoon stopped speaking.

 

They were all quiet for a moment. Seokjin saw recognition on Namjoon’s face before he looked down, breathing heavily.

 

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that.” He said, his tone calmer.

 

The room was filled with silence again. It was another moment before anyone spoke.

 

“It won't happen again. This isn't like last time.” Namjoon said, putting his hand on Seokjin’s arm in an attempt at reassurance.

 

“He’s not Jimin.” Hoseok spoke up suddenly, getting everyone’s attention easily despite how quietly he spoke. “Hyung… they're not the same. I don’t think it’s as serious. But there’s something else going on.” The others nodded in silent agreement at this. Seokjin let out a breath shakily.

 

“Okay, maybe it was different, but does that matter? Doesn't it make it worse if we don't know what's going on?” Seokjin was unable to help raising his voice again.

 

“If there's something really wrong, then we’re going to find out what it is.” Namjoon said firmly. He looked Seokjin in the eye. “This isn't going to happen again because we won't let it.”

 

Seokjin ran a hand through his hair agitatedly, looking down.

 

“Okay, hyung?”

 

“Okay.” He looked up, looking at all of them in turn. “What are we going to do, then?”

 

“That’s what we’re here to discuss.” Namjoon said. He looked around. “I think we should just talk to him. I don’t think we know enough to make any assumptions that we can act on.”

 

“He won't talk to us though. He’ll avoid the questions.” Seokjin pointed out. Namjoon was about to answer when Yoongi interrupted him.

 

“He’s right, Jungkook may not be a good liar, but he's pretty good at avoiding the goddamn point.”

 

“But what else is there we can do?” Hoseok countered. Nobody replied.

 

“There's nothing else we can do.” He answered his own rhetorical question. Again, nobody spoke.

 

“We can't just do nothing.” Seokjin said after a second, his tone despairing.

 

“No. Which is why we should talk to him.” Namjoon responded, sitting back.

 

Seokjin sighed. Yoongi made a slightly sceptical noise.

 

“I think you should talk to him.” He said. Namjoon blinked at him.

 

“Who, me?”

 

“Yes, you.” Yoongi raised his eyebrows at him. “Look, if you've got something you've been keeping from everyone, are you more likely to tell six people or one person, if they asked?”

 

Everybody stopped to consider this for a moment.

 

“That's a fair point.” Namjoon said after another moment. He nodded. “Okay, I'll talk to him. Tomorrow.”

 

“Is that all we’re going to do?” Seokjin still wasn’t convinced. “It doesn’t seem like… enough.”

 

“If it doesn't work, we’ll figure something else out. Something more than that.” Namjoon assured him. “We’re gonna make sure. I promise.”

 

“Okay.” Seokjin said eventually. “Let’s do it then.”

 

After that was decided, they discussed the best way Namjoon could get Jungkook to actually talk. It was quickly decided that the best way was to talk seriously, using his status as a leader.

 

“You're someone he looks up to a lot.” Hoseok pointed out. “That could be helpful.”

 

It was all relatively vague, but they didn't have much to go off to begin with. This was really the best they could do, given the information that they had. After some more discussion, they called the meeting to an end, all of them very much needing rest.

 

Namjoon walked with Seokjin some of the way down the corridor to his room, and bid the still worried looking man goodnight. He stayed standing still for a while after he'd gone, everything they'd discussed and more playing on his mind.

 

“Hey. Namjoon-ah.” He turned in surprise at the sound of his name.

 

“Yoongi-hyung?”

 

Yoongi stepped away from his doorway.

 

“Is he okay?” He indicated towards Seokjin’s room. Namjoon glanced in that direction and back again.

 

“Yeah, he's just worried.”

 

“Very worried, by the look of it.”

 

“Yeah.” Namjoon sighed. “I think the thing with Jimin, it affected him more than he let on at the time.”

 

“Hm…” Yoongi nodded in understanding, not needing to say anything else. He shifted his gaze to stare down the corridor, and for a moment neither of them spoke, lost in thought.

 

“You know what's going on, don't you?”

 

Yoongi didn't even look up as he spoke. Namjoon glanced over at him.

 

“Do I?” He laughed humorlessly. “I may have some idea, but…” He trailed off and shook his head. “I just…”

 

Yoongi rolled his eyes at him.

 

“Just say it.”

 

Namjoon sighed.

 

“Have you ever thought that Jungkook might be gay?”

 

There was a brief moment of silence.

 

“I’ve considered it. More than once.” Yoongi responded more quickly than he expected. He looked over to meet Namjoon’s eyes.

 

“I see.” Namjoon exhaled slowly. “So have I. Considered it, I mean.” He hesitated and laughed, again without humour. “Actually, I’ve been considering it since he was about sixteen.”

 

Yoongi didn't seem surprised by this revelation, only slightly raising his eyebrows and looking away again.

 

“I wanted to believe that he wasn't. For his sake. There were things that made me think he might not be, and I held on on to them. But… I think you're right.” He sighed. “I'm pretty damn sure you're right, actually."

 

They were both quiet for a moment.

 

Yoongi broke the silence suddenly with an abrupt but quiet laugh. Namjoon looked at him questioningly.

 

“What?”

 

“I was just thinking, how'd they manage to get three in one group?” Yoongi shook his head, still laughing. “That's like, nearly half.”

 

Namjoon gave him an incredulous look, but he couldn't help joining in the laughter just slightly.

 

“Three?” He said. “Who's the third?”

 

Yoongi paused and regarded him.

 

“Who do you think?”

 

“Hm…” Namjoon responded, his smile fading. “Damn.”

 

Yoongi had stopped laughing now, and surveyed him with a look that was hard to read. Namjoon sighed, deeply, and pressed both his hands against his face so that shapes formed in front of his eyelids.

 

“Aish, hyung.” He said into his palms. “What are we going to do?”

 

“You're going to talk to him. And if that doesn't work, then…”

 

Namjoon removed his hands from his face.

 

“Then what?”

 

“Then we’ll figure something out.” Yoongi said, his voice barely above a whisper. The look in his eyes, that was previously unreadable, was now quietly reassuring. Namjoon closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall.

 

“We’ll figure something out.” He repeated. “We’ll do something.” His voice was even lower, and yet it seemed to echo in the dark corridor for several moments.

 

After that, the quiet continued.

 

*****

 

When Jungkook woke up, one of the first things he became aware of was how cold he was. For some reason, it seemed, he wasn't under the covers on his bed. He groaned and rolled over, trying to pull the cover underneath him around him and immediately collided with something. Or rather, someone. It was then that he woke up properly, or at least his body did as he sat up so quickly it made his head spin a little. He blinked at his surroundings for several seconds, his brain still not catching up. He turned his eyes downwards and frowned slightly.

 

_Why is Jimin in my bed?_

 

It was coming back to him now, slowly but surely. His and Jimin’s argument, him passing out (again) in the bathroom, Jimin helping him. He could remember everything that had happened the previous night, but he couldn't for the life of him seem to remember how Jimin had ended up sleeping with him.

 

Jungkook frowned and reworded that in his head.

 

 _Sleeping_ next to _me_

 

He shook his head at himself and his inappropriate train of thought. For a moment or two he stayed sitting in the same position, awkwardly staring at Jimin as he slept. He didn't seem to be particularly peaceful. Even though he wasn't moving, his sleep seemed disturbed. Jungkook felt like he should do something, knowing he was most likely the reason why Jimin was sleeping badly. But he also knew that he couldn't really do anything.

 

 _Can I even be trusted to be this near him?_ He thought bitterly.

 

So, instead he got up and headed to the bathroom to take a shower and try and get his act together already.

 

Unfortunately for him, anxiety drove him to do everything twice as quickly as usual, which meant he was done in the bathroom in no time at all. This was far from ideal as he had wanted to delay having to face anyone for as long as he could.

 

Jungkook sighed and turned to face the mirror, choosing to stall a little bit longer. Seeing himself in the mirror, even in the low light he looked a state. The stylists were going to have a job making him look presentable. Jungkook dropped his hands either side of the sink, gripping it as he ducked his head and shut his eyes tightly. He needed to get it together. He couldn't keep being like this. Jungkook groaned and dragged a hand roughly across his face.

 

_Just get it together already_

 

He leaned his head backwards to look to the ceiling for a moment, then back at his reflection.

 

_When did everything get so fucked up?_

 

It hadn't happened quickly by any means. The realisation had happened so slowly, over a long period of time. Thinking back, there had been so many times when he had just dismissed things that, when he thought about them now, were obviously not nothing. It wasn't just that he'd managed to ignore it for so long, even before then he simply hadn't noticed. If he really thought about it, the first time he had considered that he may not be normal was because of his friends.

 

When he'd moved from Busan to Seoul to become a trainee, he had been quite lonely. There had been hardly any trainees his age, and when he actually debuted it was as the youngest of the group. Even those closest to him in age were two years older than him. Although he was certainly close with the other members, they weren't really _friends_. They were something between friends and family, something subtly different from both. But Jungkook wanted friends. Actual friends, who were the same age as him and liked the same things as him. He wasn’t able to make any at school, despite attending with other idols. Being put back a year certainly didn't help, now he had hardly any contact with people the same age as him.

 

But eventually, _eventually_ , he was able to find a friend in Yugyeom. And from that came the 97 line and their group chat, and suddenly Jungkook had actual friends. So, naturally, he was pretty excited about it. Kind of embarrassingly excited, actually. Even though they were all so busy, there was something about being in a group chat which could make people closer very quickly. They talked about anything and everything, whenever they could, from talking about their favourite songs whilst hanging around in waiting rooms, to debating the meaning of life at four in the morning instead of sleeping after their long schedules. However, there was one particular topic which tended to come up more often than others. Girls.

 

After all, they were a group of guys barely out of their teens who had given up most of their teenage years anyway. Girls were admittedly not Jungkook’s strong point. He had, at this point, developed somewhat of a reputation of being super awkward around girls. To be fair to him, he wasn't _that_ bad. There were female staff members that he worked with, and was close to, as well as fellow trainees when BigHit still took female trainees. He just tended to be awkward with girls that he didn't know. He was also fairly inexperienced, having only dated once as a middle schooler. The others had varying levels of experience, some of them had had several girlfriends, some of them had gone quite far with these girls. And some of them hadn't even dated at all.

 

Jungkook hadn't really talked about girls that much before. In his group, it wasn't really something they discussed, other than the odd offhand comment. It was however something he was constantly asked about in interviews. Ideal type. At this point, he did have an image of his ideal girl, and it had stayed the same for quite a long time, practically since he'd first debuted at fifteen. Long, straight, dark hair, a slender figure, delicate features. The image of conventional Korean beauty. A girl who could sing and dance, a girl who fit into the vague idea he had of a “good girlfriend”.

 

This girl was usually very similar to IU, if he was being honest. (In fact, during these conversations he would often just talk about IU in place of this fictional girl, which usually resulted in him and Jaehyun talking about her until the others got tired of it and told them both to shut up.)

 

Despite Jungkook’s image of his ideal type being very clear in his mind, he quickly learned that he wasn't quite on the same page as his friends. The way they talked about girls went beyond the kind of safe things he was used to saying. And this was where the problems began. Because Jungkook couldn't seem to talk the same way as them. At first this was fairly easy to dismiss as just general awkwardness, but it became increasingly more frustrating as it persisted. Why was it so hard for him to join in these conversations without it feeling so forced? Even Kim never-had-a-girlfriend-before Mingyu could at least _talk_ about girls.

 

And then, after a while, it hit him. He couldn't talk like that because he didn't think like that.

 

He couldn't talk about girls sexually because he never thought about them sexually.

 

But that didn't make any sense. He was a guy. He liked girls, he'd always liked girls. He was just being awkward. So he managed to put it out of his mind, he forced himself to put it out of his mind. That is, until the other, slightly worse, realisation happened. Again, because of his friends.

 

In his opinion, there was a specific event that marked the moment when realisation became denial. Of course, it was all blurry and confused, but this was the first time when he'd really considered it. Maybe you could call it the moment when he figured it all out, maybe it was just the beginning. Either way, it was because of the damn group chat again.

 

It was somewhere between ridiculously late and ridiculously early, the ambiguous time when the only thing you can be sure of is how much you should be sleeping right now. But Jungkook was an idol, and so were his friends. And for them, being up this late/early wasn't unusual at all.

 

Him and a couple of others (Yugyeom, Jaehyun and Minghao, probably) were talking dance. And given who they were, that was something they could talk about for quite some time. It was almost an hour into this conversation (maybe two but who knew) that Jaehyun started talking about the seniors in his company. (Say what one would about SM Entertainment, it was hard to deny the skill of its artists when it came to dance.) And it was because Jaehyun loved this one particular performance of Lee Taemin’s so much that he just had to send it to them and destroy everything that Jungkook thought he knew about himself.

 

Okay, maybe that was a slight exaggeration.

 

He watched that video of Taemin's more than once. The first time, it took him a moment to realise that he had been sort of frozen the whole time. And that he hadn't properly focused on the dance at all, somehow, because he had no idea what the others were talking about. So he watched it again, slightly irritated with himself. And again. There was something about that video. Watching it was making him feel almost like… he was doing something wrong, somehow. And yet he wanted to keep watching.

 

It was only when he returned to the chat that he figured out what was going on. When he joined the others in discussing the performance they had watched, it became apparent that his experience hadn’t exactly been the same as the other’s. It was after one too many comments about Taemin’s body (and not nearly enough about the actual dance he was doing) that someone said it.

 

_“Do you like men, Jungkook-ah?”_

 

Was it a joke? Who even said it? Did it even matter?

 

But the idea was in his head now, and he couldn't get rid of it. The thing was, as must as he could try to justify what he'd said, it didn't matter. Because he recognised what it was he felt and why he was feeling it. Attraction. To a man. Because he did like men.

 

Being confronted with it like that was what sent him into the confused state he remained in for quite a long time until he eventually broke down and told Yeri, of all people. And everything had ended up like this. He felt like he was losing it.

 

Part of him wished that he'd never figured it out in the first place, that he could somehow have stayed completely oblivious to it. But another part of him knew that never would have lasted. He knew, deep down that he had always been this way, and that that was never going to change. He knew it now with a sudden absolute certainty.

 

_I'm gay_

 

It seemed so obvious now, he didn't know how he'd had any doubt about it. Had he ever really doubted it? Or was he just that good at lying to himself?

 

“Jungkook?”

 

He was jolted from his thoughts abruptly. The sudden voice made him jump so violently it felt like his heart may have stopped for a moment.

 

“Are you in there? Are you okay?”

 

Jungkook let out a shaky breath. It was just Jimin. Right. Just Jimin. Who was probably worrying about him right now.

 

Jungkook winced and looked up at the mirror again. He had to go out there, and persuade Jimin that everything was okay. He had to get it together.

 

 _Get it together,_ He told his reflection. _Just get it together already_

 

“I'm fine.” He called through the door. “I'm coming out now.”

 

He looked back at himself briefly, wondering for a fleeting moment if you could tell from looking at him what he'd just come to terms with. Because now, it seemed so blindingly obvious. He felt like if Jimin saw him, if anyone saw him, they'd be able to tell straight away.

 

Jungkook shut his eyes.

 

_Just get it together, Jeon Jungkook_

 

He turned to the door and braced himself for telling a whole lot of lies all over again.

 

*****

 

Over the next few days, hectic didn't even begin to describe it. The concerts passed in a blur of bright lights and explosive noises, with emotions running so high everything felt charged, electric. There wasn't much time when they weren't doing _something._ But it did happen. And during that time, Jungkook was determined to persuade the others that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. And when he set his mind on something, there was little that could deter him.

 

It was obvious that this decision came just in time, the others were clearly properly starting to worry. So, they were understandably suspicious of his attempts at first.

 

“Are you sure you're okay to do this?” Namjoon asked him, before their first concert. “Jimin said you weren't doing that great last night.”

 

“It's fine.” Jungkook shrugged nonchalantly. “I feel better now. I slept well last night.”

 

“If you're sure…” Namjoon surveyed him, frowning.

 

That wasn't the last time he expressed his worry about Jungkook. He tracked him down later that day, clearly with the intention of discussing what was wrong.

 

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” He told him. “It's my job, as a leader, your elder, your _friend._ If there is something, you can tell me.”

 

Jungkook almost considered it. Just telling him. He knew that Namjoon was progressive, especially when it came to this kind of thing. If Jungkook was to tell anyone, he was the best option, right? He wouldn't react badly. Would he? Jungkook looked up and made eye contact with the leader.

 

The moment passed.

 

“Really hyung, I’m fine. I'm just trying to be the best I can for this tour.”

 

“Don't work yourself too hard.” Namjoon said eventually, after some clear mental deliberation. He smiled briefly and got up to leave.

 

It had worked.

 

Getting back into the habit of eating and sleeping normally was easier said than done. He continued to work out and practice a lot, just for something to occupy himself with. Slowly, he managed to convince the others that everything was fine. The thing with most of the members was that they didn't like to address problems directly. None of them liked conflict, much preferring to leave problems to solve themselves over time. This meant that once Jungkook had convinced Namjoon, it was fairly easy to get his relationships with the others back to normal.

 

Every now and then, he did catch them looking at him almost like he was a puzzle they were trying to work out, like they were trying to see into his mind and figure it out. The tension was only slight however, and it diminished more by the day. There was only one person with whom the tension lingered.

 

Park Jimin.

 

Who else?

 

This was their last night at this hotel, and Jungkook didn't know if they'd room together at the next place, so he knew that now was the best opportunity if he wanted to speak to Jimin alone. But there was a problem with speaking to Jimin alone. And that was he was pretty damn terrified about it.

 

It was weird, because in the past, Jimin had always been the easiest out of all the members to talk to. Jungkook felt the most relaxed and secure talking to him. Even though he sometimes favoured the others for advice, he preferred talking to Jimin. Telling him something big didn't have to be a big deal. It was just… easy.

 

So this should be easy. Jungkook took a deep breath and turned to face the door. He just had to talk to him. Just like he had with all the others. It shouldn't be this hard.

 

Jungkook groaned and hit the wall next to the door in frustration.

 

Why was it so hard?

 

He pulled back from the wall and paced the corridor again, trying to think of what he was going to say. Should he just act like nothing happened? Or come up with an excuse and apologise? Obviously he couldn't tell him the real reason-

 

“Jungkook?”

 

He turned around so fast he felt slightly dizzy. Jimin was standing in the doorway of their room, blinking confusedly at him.

 

“Ah…” Jungkook said, staring back at him. There was a beat of silence.

 

“Did you- did you just hit the wall?” Jimin asked, still looking confused.

 

“Yes.” Jungkook said. “There was… a bug. On the wall.” He explained after a moment’s pause.

 

“Oh.” Jimin said. They stared at each other for another moment.

 

“You should go- come to bed.” Jimin spoke up again, stumbling slightly over the words and looking away awkwardly. Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the ground.

 

“Okay.”

 

He hesitated in the doorway as he followed Jimin back into their room, hovering there awkwardly, feeling the need to say something. Jimin didn't notice, didn't look up as he went over to his bed and sat down on the edge, picking up his phone and putting one earphone in.

Jungkook had hoped, somewhat naively, that things between them would go back to normal without him really doing anything. He'd hoped that over time, things would just go back to how they were before, like with the others. But it was different. It was still so _awkward_ between them. There was still so much tension.

 

Probably mostly because he was so damn attracted to Jimin, and he really didn't want to admit it.

 

He was getting marginally better at dealing with his… preferences. (Meaning he didn’t freak out about it every time he looked at a guy like that anymore) But this? There was something different about this. And he really couldn't deal with it.

 

And it really wasn't helping thinking about it.

 

“Hyung.” Jungkook spoke suddenly. His voice came out louder than he'd intended. Jimin looked up.

 

“What?” His expression shifted from surprise to concern as he looked over. “What is it?”

 

What was it? So many things. Jungkook bit his lip.

 

“I'm sorry.” He said abruptly. Jimin’s face seemed to fall, the worry on it increasing.

 

“What for?” He asked softly. “You haven't got anything to be sorry for. Stop apologising.”

 

“I do.” Jungkook protested. “I do, the way I acted was wrong. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry.”

 

Jimin regarded him for a moment, and then sighed, pulling his earphone out and putting his phone down.

 

“Okay,” He said, “Okay, then I forgive you for that. But…” He looked down briefly and then up again, making eye contact. “I think I should be sorry too. I think I handled everything wrong.”

 

Jungkook swallowed, and nodded. There was a pause where neither of them spoke. Neither of them really knew what to say.

 

“Can we just-” Jungkook started, finding the words and then immediately losing courage as Jimin looked back at him. “Just…” He struggled to find words. “I don’t like...” He paused again “ _This._ I don’t like this.”

 

“You don’t like what?” Jimin seemed confused.

 

“I miss you.” He didn't think before he said it. He hadn't even thought about it before then, but now he said it, he realised how true it was.

 

Jimin just looked at him, seeming lost for words.

 

“Jungkook-ah,” He started, running a hand through his hair and looking down. “Aish, Jungkook-ah, you can't miss me, I'm right here.” He looked up again, a half-smile playing on his lips.

 

“I know.” Jungkook said quietly. He watched Jimin’s face, trying to read his expressions.

 

“Come here.” Jimin said, just as quietly. Jungkook hesitated for a moment before moving to sit on the bed next to him. Jimin shifted slightly closer to him, almost gingerly pressing a hand to his shoulder. He shifted again so his arm was around him when Jungkook didn’t pull away.

 

“It's okay-” Jimin started again. “It's okay if you don't want to talk about what's wrong.”

 

“There's nothing…” Jungkook trailed off as he glanced over at Jimin, knowing his expression betrayed him. “There was… something. But it's not- it's not important. I worked it out.”

 

“You worked it out?” Jimin said after a pause.

 

“Yeah.”

 

They were silent again for a while. Jungkook knew he wasn’t very convincing, but what could he say? What could he do?

 

“Okay.” Jimin said eventually. “As long as you're okay.” He looked at Jungkook for far too long for it to be okay with him. “You are okay, right? You’re okay, now.”

 

_I'm gay and if anyone finds out my whole career and life and the careers and lives of most of the people I care about most will fall apart and I also like you a lot more than I should but if I tell you that I'll ruin our friendship and the group dynamic and basically everything but apart from that I'm fine._

 

Is what he would have said, if he was honest. And stupid. But he was neither of those things, because he had everything under control now.

 

“Everything’s fine.”

 

He must’ve been getting better at lying.

 

Because for some reason, everyone chose to believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'm gonna try and take a lot less than a month next time"- me, over a month ago
> 
> lmao i tried
> 
> Okay, this is is waaaaay later than intended I'm so sorry lol. But I do have several excuses, one of which being that I've been ill, so that hasn't really helped. Also school is particularly stressful currently, and it's winter and I am dying from the cold. It's not actually that cold at the moment, but we're due a lot of cold in the UK soon, so yayyyyyyy. (my other excuses are netflix and idol producer exist) but this chapter is a lot longer so I'll let myself off.
> 
> Okay so this chapter. Ummmm what to say about this. I'm always nervous about posting tbh, but I think this time I'm the most nervous. This chapter is pretty personal to me, but I'm kinda worried that people will find it boring. I considered not writing a portion of it, but I felt I needed to, so in the end I did. so in short pls be gentle with this chapter lol
> 
> A couple more notable things about este capitulo (that's this chapter in spanish i think i'm funny)  
> Regarding what the hyung line were saying about Jimin, this isn't exactly an entirely in-universe thing. They're talking about a time in 2016 when Jimin went through some fairly rigorous dieting and lost a lot of weight. As far as I know, the members haven't spoken out about it much but I feel that it's likely they would have been quite affected by it. So, in this story, they were. (ik jimin's in a better place now and i'm very glad <3)  
> Regarding what Yoongi and Namjoon were talking about, it's supposed to be cryptic, so don't worry if you don't understand, all will be revealed.
> 
> And finally, can I just say you guys are so nice with your comments omg it literally made my day everytime, tysm everyone, i hope you keep reading and enjoying! The good news is I've already started the next chapter btw. (this is the longest note ever istg stop me take me keyboard away)


	8. Girl Friends

It was after a particularly long schedule one night, all nine Twice members were gathered around in their living area, half watching the movie that Chaeyoung had insisted they watched. Half-watching because all of them were so tired, and they'd really wanted to just go to bed. But, as Chaeyoung had pointed out, they had promised they'd watch this together, and they didn't know when they'd next have enough time to do so. So, here they were.

 

Dahyun seemed to sort of be watching, blinking at the screen slowly like a cat as she leaned against Sana, who was looking at something on Nayeon’s phone which they were both smiling vaguely at. Momo was dozing off on Jeongyeon’s shoulder, and Mina seemed to be the only other one actually completely focused on the movie, her and Chaeyoung sitting close together, seemingly completely engrossed.

 

Tzuyu was watching, technically, she was just struggling to keep up. She was usually pretty good with Korean movies, understanding was a lot easier than speaking after all. But at the moment, she was so tired that her brain refused to operate in anything but Mandarin. She was in the middle of wishing that she could will subtitles into existence when Jihyo shuffled closer to her and spoke quietly.

 

“Hey, Tzuyu?”

 

Tzuyu looked up at her. Jihyo was biting her lip, looking anxious.

 

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

 

Tzuyu blinked at her. It took a moment for the Korean to register, especially as Jihyo was speaking in her regional accent rather than the standard dialect they used in front of the cameras.

 

“Like, alone?” Jihyo added, pointing to the door. Tzuyu finally got it and nodded silently. They were both sat at the corner of the sofa, so the others didn't seem to notice as they slipped away.

 

“I've been meaning to talk to you for a while,” Jihyo said as they entered the room shared by the three youngest members. Tzuyu sat on her bed and Jihyo sat next to her, continuing, “About what happened at the meet up.”

 

“The meet up with GOT7-sunbaenims?” Tzuyu asked. Jihyo nodded, frowning.

 

“What you said…” She spoke in practically a whisper, despite them not being in earshot of anyone.

 

It only took a moment for Tzuyu to figure out what she meant.

 

“Oh.” She said simply.

 

Jihyo bit her lip again, surveying Tzuyu’s facial expressions.

 

“Yeah…”

 

There was a moment’s pause where Jihyo seemed to be waiting for her to speak, but she didn't comply. Jihyo cleared her throat awkwardly.

 

“You know you can't just say stuff like that, right?” Jihyo spoke tentatively, her voice somewhere between reprimanding and what was almost comforting.

 

Tzuyu sighed and looked down.

 

“I know,” she started, “I didn't think they'd take it seriously.” She looked across at Jihyo. “I don't think they did.”

 

“I really hope they didn't.” Jihyo said, shaking her head. “It's just, I can't help but worry about it, you know? If anyone got hold of this, we can only imagine how they'd spin it against us.”

 

Tzuyu had imagined, many times.

 

“And it's not that I don't trust GOT7 and the others, it's just-” Jihyo paused and sighed. “Just- just be more careful, okay?”

 

Tzuyu nodded briefly, breaking their eye contact. Jihyo reached out to cover Tzuyu’s hand with hers.

 

“I'm not saying this ‘cause I'm mad at you,” she said, “I'm just looking out for you, and for the group. Okay?”

 

Tzuyu looked up again and smiled.

 

“Okay.”

 

Jihyo squeezed her hand and returned the smile.

 

“We should get back to the movie.” She gestured to the door.

 

“Oh… You can go back, I think I'll go to bed now.”

 

“Tired?” Jihyo asked. Tzuyu nodded and Jihyo laughed quietly.

 

“Me too.” She stood up and stretched. “I'm going back now though,” She turned to glance back at Tzuyu, “You get some sleep, I bet Chaeyoungie’ll let you off watching the rest.”

 

Tzuyu nodded again and made sure to keep her smile until Jihyo was out of the room, when she let it fall.

 

Keeping this up could be so tiring sometimes.

 

She had known it would be difficult. But, to be perfectly honest, she hadn't thought about it being difficult in this way. Being an idol trainee meant being away from her home and her family to live and work in a completely different country. Even when she passed the audition to JYP entertainment, being an idol seemed like a distant dream. But when she debuted, everything changed.

 

It was difficult for everyone. But being like this made it more difficult.

 

“Tzuyu-ya…” Chaeyoung’s voice came from the doorway as she stumbled into the room and fell down onto her bed. Tzuyu had to stifle a laugh as she stayed motionless there for a moment, lying face down.

 

“Tzuyu…” Chaeyoung repeated, lifting her head up and brushing her hair out of her face. “You’re not sleeping yet?”

 

“Not yet.”  Tzuyu got up from her bed, casting a glance in Chaeyoung’s direction before crossing the room and sitting on the bed next to her.

 

“I thought you were,” Chaeyoung pouted “You missed the end of the movie.”

 

“I'm sorry.” Tzuyu put her arms around her and Chaeyoung leaned in automatically. “We can watch it together another time.”

 

“Hm… Fine. I can't stay mad at you.” Chaeyoung conceded and Tzuyu laughed.

 

They were both quiet for a moment.

 

“Jihyo-unnie was scolding me.” Tzuyu said suddenly. Chaeyoung looked up at her in surprise.

 

“Why?”

 

“For what I said when we were with GOT7.”

 

Chaeyoung blinked at her.

 

“The thing about dating?”

 

Tzuyu nodded.

 

“Oh. That? Huh…” Chaeyoung seemed to consider this for a second. “Well, I thought that was kinda cool.”

 

Tzuyu looked back down at her.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah.” Chaeyoung half sat up, rearranging her position to be more comfortable. “I mean, why should you have a boyfriend? It's not like guys are the only thing that should matter to us, right?”

 

“They don't really matter to me at all.” Tzuyu said absently. Chaeyoung snorted with laughter.

 

“But I mean, really, people are always acting like that. Like, having a boyfriend is the most important thing ever to a girl. And when a girl has one, that's all people can talk about to her. Like, her life revolves around him.” She paused. “People are always doing that to Yeri, lately. I think it annoys her.”

 

Tzuyu only hummed in response, taking in Chaeyoung’s words. She had noticed, the only thing people seemed to be able to talk about when Yeri’s name came up was her boyfriend. Had she seemed annoyed about that? It was honestly hard to tell. They had talked about Jungkook a lot, and there had been some awkwardness surrounding that topic, but honestly most of it seemed to be coming from GOT7 rather than Yeri, inexplicably. Another thing that was just plain weird about that meet up. The atmosphere there in general had just been so weird, like there was something going on below the surface. As if everyone knew something, but no one was saying it.

 

It made her wonder. She saw Yeri steal glances at her when she thought she wasn't looking, she saw the tension between Yugyeom and the other GOT7 members. And she couldn't help but wonder, just for a moment.

 

But she knew she had to be imagining things.

 

“We should sleep.” Chaeyoung spoke up again after the silence.

 

“We should.” Tzuyu agreed. Neither of them moved.

 

“Let’s just sleep here.” Chaeyoung said after another pause. Tzuyu giggled.

 

“Okay.” They both stayed in the same position, Chaeyoung only adjusting herself slightly so she could lean against Tzuyu. Tzuyu let herself relax.

 

It was better to just forget about it.

 

*****

 

“Karaoke.” Jihyo said.

 

It probably should have sounded like a question, but it didn't come out that way.

 

“Karaoke.” Nayeon confirmed, nodding triumphantly. She held her phone out to show Jihyo. “There's going to be loads of people there. Like, everyone we know, really.” Jihyo took the phone and scrolled through it, contemplative.

 

“Loads of people? Like who?” Jeongyeon asked, trying to look over Jihyo’s shoulder.

 

“GFriend, Red Velvet… Well actually just Joy and Yeri, the others can't…” Nayeon started but was cut off before she could continue.

 

“GFriend? Eunha?” Sana sat up suddenly, leaning in to see for herself.

 

“Yep.” Nayeon said, looking pleased with herself. She looked back at Jihyo. “Jung Chaeyeon too.”

 

Jihyo sighed and handed her the phone back as everybody else started talking excitedly.

 

“Okay, okay. But is it really a good idea?”

 

Nayeon tilted her head quizzically. Jihyo sighed again.

 

“We could strain our voices doing karaoke, and do we even have time? We have a lot of schedules at the moment, we need time to rest as well.”

 

Everybody subsided as they took in these words. It took Nayeon a moment to respond.

 

“We don't have to record anything for a few days. And it's only for a couple of hours. It's not going to interfere with our schedule either, I checked. I think doing this will do us good, we’ll still have time to rest” Nayeon paused. Jihyo still looked worried. “You know I wouldn't suggest this if I thought it wasn't responsible.” She said softly.

 

“If you're absolutely sure…”

 

“I am sure. I checked.” Nayeon said immediately. “I thought it all through, Jihyo-ah.”

 

There was another pause as Jihyo looked down.

 

“Go on then.” She rolled her eyes as Nayeon practically jumped in excitement. “It sounds like fun.” She admitted, smiling. “It sounds like something we could do with right now.”

 

As easily as that, they ended up going to karaoke.

 

There were quite a few people there, but not all of them were able to actually take part properly, probably needing to rest their voices. Her and the other Twice members had no such problems, and it was only after multiple Seventeen covers and countless different girl group songs that Tzuyu finally took a break, opting to sit down in a corner rather than join the other’s enthusiastic BTS cover.

 

The atmosphere in the room in general was nice, everyone mingling with each other, sitting in groups talking if they weren't singing. From across the room, Tzuyu could see Momo collapsing into Joy’s side with laughter, Dahyun and SinB’s improvised dance to make up for not knowing the choreo for the song, Sana clinging to Eunha like a koala, Jihyo finally relaxed and surrounded by same age friends. And in the midst of all of this, there was Yeri.

 

Yeri, the talk of just about everyone right now. Yeri, the girl dating the guy every girl around his age wanted, supposedly. (Tzuyu honestly doubted this rather dramatic statement Nayeon had made on the topic) Yeri, the girl Tzuyu couldn't seem to help just not thinking much of.

 

Some heightened sounds of excitement drew Tzuyu’s attention back to the centre of the room. Yeri clearly did know the choreo to this song, more specifically she knew the choreo for Jungkook’s part of the song. Ah. That's what it was. The cause of excitement. Yeri was surrounded as soon as the song was finished, laughing and joking with the other girls, ducking her head bashfully when they teased her about the situation. Just the usual, it seemed. Tzuyu was about to turn away, disinterested, when Yeri successfully detached herself from the group to stumble over to her bag.

 

It was only for a moment. Tzuyu almost thought that she'd imagined it. But it lasted just long enough for her to know that she hadn't. As Yeri stepped away from the others all the attention was drawn away from her by something else. And almost the moment that attention was gone, something happened. Her expression seemed to suddenly change abruptly, the happiness and excitement dissipating in seconds. It was almost like a mask she had been wearing suddenly fell away. A mask she had barely been holding up. She had been smiling before, but now the look on her face was far from happy. It looked… _tired._ It was hard to place exactly what it was. Was she upset? Angry? Not quite either, it seemed. It was more like she was… pained. Frustrated.

 

Tzuyu was so taken aback by the sudden shift that she didn't know how to react. Yeri’s head was bowed as she searched through her bag, her face no longer visible. It was only a moment until she straightened up again, phone in hand, the light from it illuminating her face briefly. Her facial expressions were still so hard to read. Tzuyu was unable to stop herself from continuing to stare until Yeri looked up suddenly, maybe sensing she was being watched. They only made eye contact for a split second. Yeri looked surprised, almost as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn’t. Tzuyu had no idea what her face was showing. She looked away quickly, an automatic response in the awkwardness of the situation, and forced herself to scan the rest of the room. When she dared look back, Yeri was gone.

 

_What was that?_

 

“Hey there, why so lonesome?” A voice somewhere to her right startled her out of her thoughts. She glanced around in surprise as Jeongyeon and Mina had somehow ended up either side of her, Jeongyeon leaning an arm on her shoulder as she did so. Tzuyu hadn’t even seen them approach.

 

“We saw you sitting here by yourself, so we thought we’d see if you were okay.” Mina explained from her other side. “You looked a bit down.”

 

“Ah… Sorry.” Tzuyu said, smiling slightly embarrassedly. “I’m okay. I was just taking a break and, you know,” She gestured towards the others. “Watching.”

 

Yeri was still missing from that crowd.

 

“Oh, I see. They’re kind of overexcited, huh.” Mina smiled in recognition. “I needed to take a break too.” She admitted, lightly fanning herself. Her cheeks were very flushed, Tzuyu suddenly noticed, and her eyes almost seemed too dark.

 

“Yeah, we’re getting old.” Jeongyeon shook her head. “It’s hard to keep up with the kids nowadays.” She gestured in the general direction of Dahyun and SinB, whose dancing had somehow become even more crazy.

 

Tzuyu and Mina both laughed.

 

“What are they doing?”

 

“I think Dahyunnie is in her element!”  

 

The three of them continued to watch their bandmate with an edge of disbelief until the song changed.

 

“Oh, I have to sing this.” Jeongyeon jumped up as the next song started playing. Mina and Tzuyu watched her go silently, only waving a little in acknowledgement. They remained in comfortable silence together for a little while longer. Tzuyu was admittedly glad to have the company.

 

“God, it’s hot in here.” Mina said suddenly. “Do you have any water?”

 

“No, sorry.”

 

“Damn.”

 

Tzuyu glanced across at her. She was rubbing the back of her neck, eyes closed.

 

“I’ll get you some.”

 

Mina opened her eyes and smiled tiredly.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Tzuyu pressed a hand against Mina’s briefly before getting up and maneuvering her way through the crowd of people carefully to get out of the private room they were all in.  

 

The corridor outside was mercifully empty. Although there were sounds still coming from all around, it seemed utterly quiet and still. Tzuyu didn’t really know her way around this place, but she vaguely recalled seeing a vending machine on the way in, so it seemed sensible to retrace her steps. A vending machine would have water, right? That seemed like her best bet. It didn't take much time before she turned a corner and found the place. That wasn’t the only thing she found, however.

 

Yeri, it seemed, was unavoidable.

 

Tzuyu stayed at the other end of the corridor as she watched the other girl stand in front of her sought-after vending machine, trailing her hand across the front of it before seeming to make her mind up and type a number in. Tzuyu stayed where she was, for some reason hesitant to approach her. She just watched Yeri pick up the drink she had chosen, and attempt to get it open. And fail. Continuously.

 

After about a minute it got to the point where Tzuyu figured that she couldn’t just keep standing there any longer. She was determined that she was going to get water from that vending machine, and the confusing girl that was Kim Yerim was not going to get in the way of that. What was stopping her anyway? If everyone said she should talk to her, why not just talk to her?

 

What was the worst that could happen?

 

Yeri was clearly too focused on her drink to hear her approach. Even when Tzuyu was only a few feet away from her, she still didn't look up. So Tzuyu decided to say something.

 

“Hello.”

 

Yeri turned abruptly at the sound of her voice and several things happened at once.

 

She finally succeeded in getting that damn drink open, but unfortunately this happened at around the time Yeri physically jumped in surprise, consequently managing to throw the drink up in the air and all over herself.

 

“Hi.”

 

Yeri actually talked to her for the first time.

 

The rest of the drink leaked slowly onto the floor. It was strawberry flavour, Tzuyu registered vaguely as the sweet smell of it seemed to fill the air around her. The two just looked at each other, as if they were both unable to comprehend what was going on. Yeri blinked once, eyes wide, and Tzuyu could only blink back.

 

The ridiculousness of the situation seemed to hit them simultaneously as they both inexplicably started laughing.

 

“Oh my god,” Yeri said, covering her face with her hands and leaning against the vending machine, still shaking with laughter. “Oh my god. What's wrong with me today?”

 

Tzuyu put a hand over her mouth in an attempt to stem her own laughter.

 

“I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” She finally managed to get out.

 

Yeri nodded, still laughing and leaning into the machine for support.

 

“Ah, what are we going to do? Look at this.” Yeri finally moved away from the machine to assess the scene. She looked up again. “Have you got tissues or something?”

 

Tzuyu shook her head.

 

“I could get some. From the bathroom.”

 

“Ah, good idea.”

 

Tzuyu turned to head in the direction of the nearest bathroom, her brain still not really caught up with what had just happened.

 

When she returned with as many tissues from the bathroom as she could carry, Yeri was still in the same position, stood next to the spillage which just seemed to keep spreading. Now she was seeing her from a distance, the stain on her shirt seemed even worse than before, the pinkish red standing out on the white fabric. It wasn't quite at the level where her shirt was rendered see-through, but it still rather looked like someone had thrown the drink on her deliberately.

 

Tzuyu handed her half of the tissue, clumsily separating the pile she was carrying.

 

“Thanks.”

 

They started spreading tissues across the ground methodically. It quickly became clear that the huge amount that Tzuyu had brought was only just enough.

 

“Oh my god.” Yeri said, sitting back from a crouching position to survey everything. “This looks like a crime scene.” She flicked her gaze upwards. “Like someone’s been killed here.” She tugged at the hem of her shirt. Tzuyu glanced up.

 

“You're the murder victim, then.” She gestured towards Yeri’s shirt. Yeri made eye contact with her, blinking with slight surprise then breaking into a smile.

 

“And you're the murderer?”

 

Tzuyu bit her lip.

 

“Sorry.”

 

Yeri laughed.

 

“It's okay. I misspoke. It's manslaughter. Accidental murder.”

 

This drew a hesitant laugh out of Tzuyu. Yeri looked up at her and smiled. “Don't look so worried. I'm not mad.”

 

“But…” Tzuyu said slowly, “Your shirt…”

 

“It's not _that_ bad.” Yeri said, holding out the hem of it. She glanced up. “Is it?”

 

Tzuyu didn't answer, but her expression must have been telling. Yeri started to laugh again.

 

“I'll just have to try and not get seen. I think it'll ruin my image if it looks like I killed someone.”

 

Tzuyu didn’t know what to say.  
  
“My jacket.” She said without thinking, and immediately internally cursed herself.  
  
“Huh?” Yeri looked at her blankly.  
  
“If you wear a jacket, then nobody can see your shirt. My jacket. You can borrow it. If you want.” She hoped she was making sense. Yeri blinked at her.  
  
“Really? You don't have to do that.”  
  
“I want to.” Tzuyu shrugged off her jacket and held it out. Yeri took it tentatively.  
  
“I'll give it back.” She told her, pulling it on quickly. She paused, hugging herself, and then smiled. “Thank you.”  
  
“It’s okay.”

 

They just looked at each other for a moment. It was around the time when Yeri looked like she was going to say something that Tzuyu suddenly remembered why she was there.

 

“Ah, Mina!”

 

Yeri jumped again, and Tzuyu could only thank god that she wasn't holding anything anymore.

 

She spun around quickly to face the vending machine, locating the water and trying to type the number in. It took her three attempts to get it right. The water still didn't come out.

 

“Are you okay?” Yeri sounded both concerned and slightly bemused.

 

“It's…” Tzuyu paused in front of the machine, frowning. “Not working.” She tried typing the number in again, but still nothing happened. The world was out to get her today.

 

“Are you sure you put the right number in?” Yeri asked, stepping up beside her. “What are you trying to get?”

 

“Water. Mina-unnie’s not feeling well, I said I'd get her water, that's why I came here.” Tzuyu explained, still fixated on the disobedient vending machine.

 

“Maybe it's stuck?” Yeri suggested. She didn't wait for a reply before testing this theory by slamming her hand into the side of the machine.

 

Miraculously, this worked. The water fell down.

 

“I think this thing might have something against us.” Yeri commented as Tzuyu retrieved the bottle, slightly dazed.

 

“I have to go.” Tzuyu started. “I, um,” She looked around and held up the bottle. “Thank you.”

 

Yeri shrugged. “No problem. Thanks for this.” She pulled the jacket around herself. She was smiling, but there was a hint of something else in her expression.

 

Her mask was slipping again.

 

They looked at each other for a moment. Tzuyu felt suddenly compelled to say something. This was kind of out of character for her, but then again nothing about this interaction had been particularly ordinary.

 

“Are you-”

 

“Tzuyu!”

 

Yeri jumped with surprise for the third time in the space of about twenty minutes. This time Tzuyu joined her.

 

“Tzuyu, there you are, we have to go.”

 

Tzuyu hadn't known that Jihyo could move that fast. The leader moved towards her hurriedly from the other end of the corridor, reaching her side in an instant and grabbing her wrist.

 

“We have to go now, sorry.” This was directed at Yeri, who inclined her head at them, looking slightly confused.

 

“Uh, bye?”

 

Tzuyu would have responded, but she had been pulled too far away at this point. She had to settle for waving, but even this was a little awkward as she had to twist around and use the hand Jihyo wasn't holding onto, consequently nearly making them both trip over.

 

Maybe she really was cursed that day.

 

But Yeri waved back, so maybe it was okay.

 

*****

 

“You spilled juice on her? Really?” Chaeyoung nearly stopped in her tracks.

 

“Technically she spilt it on herself.” Tzuyu said. “Although it was kind of my fault.”

 

Chaeyoung raised her eyebrows. “It was _kind of_ your fault?”

 

“Okay, it was my fault, I made her jump. Accidentally.”

 

They were making their way out of the venue to be picked up and get back to the company. The place seemed a lot bigger than it had on the way in, and it was taking them quite a while to get out of there. This was only contributing more to Jihyo’s rising stress.

 

“Wait,” Sana caught up with the two youngest, clearly eavesdropping on their conversation. “You spilled juice on her? The girl we told you to make friends with?”

 

“I didn't mean to.” Tzuyu protested.

 

“You did what?” Dahyun shot her a confused sideways look.

 

“She made a good first impression.” Chaeyoung told her, barely disguising her increasing amusement.  

 

“It wasn't a bad first impression.” Tzuyu said.

 

They all looked at her.

 

“It wasn't! I lent her my jacket.”

 

“Cause you got juice on her shirt, right?” Momo provided her much needed opinion.

 

Sana and Chaeyoung both broke down into laughter at this, Sana clinging to Tzuyu’s side for support.

 

“That's it.” Chaeyoung pulled out her phone. “I'm giving her your number.”

 

“Why?”

 

“So you can apologise for spilling juice on her!”

 

“Oh my god.”

 

Sana suddenly let go of her arm, in the midst of the hilarity.

 

“Minari, are you okay?”

 

The little group all paused to look round as Sana fell back into pace with Mina, taking her hand. Tzuyu nearly started when she saw her. Mina had been flushed before, but now she seemed white as a sheet.

 

“Mina, what's wrong?”

 

“Is Mina okay?”

 

“What's going on?”

 

Everyone stopped walking as it became increasingly clear something was up. Sana was now supporting Mina as they walked.

 

“It's okay, we should keep going, we’re nearly there.” Sana told them. “It's okay.” She looked over at Jihyo. They exchanged a look briefly, Jihyo looked away and cleared her throat.

 

“Come on, let’s go. Quickly.”

 

They finally made it out of the building and into the open air, Sana immediately leading Mina to a spot to sit down. Several of the others followed. Tzuyu and Chaeyoung both hovered at the sidelines, sensing that they didn't want to make a big deal of this but still feeling compelled to go over there too. Nayeon paused nearby, biting her nail anxiously as she watched Mina.

 

Chaeyoung grabbed Tzuyu’s hand suddenly. Tzuyu didn't say anything, trying to read the other members’ expressions.

 

She already had a bad feeling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ddsfdhsgjdf this is so late wow
> 
> This chapter took way longer than I anticipated to write, a re-wrote it a bunch of times, then I had no internet for a week, it just all went downhill lol. 
> 
> But it's here now, and it's kinda ???
> 
> I'm not really sure about this chapter tbh. After editing it a lot, this is the version I've decided to post. But I feel kinda eh about it. Let me know if you like it though haha, again really sorry this took so long. (also may edit this more I'm sure there's stuff I missed I just got bored of reading it so many times)
> 
> Okay so here is a Tzuyu/Twice-centric chapter, did you see that coming? Since we haven't actually had Tzuyu's perspective before, this is kinda just an intro to how stuff is with her, there'll be more insight later, just doesn't really fit here. So yeah that. 
> 
> Another thing (this is the last thing I promise) I wanted to thank everyone for their response to the previous chapter, it was a kinda important chapter to me if that makes sense. It gave me a way to vent like I hadn't really done before, and everyone was so nice about it it was the greatest thing ever honestly. But it has left me kinda nervous that I can live up to expectations with this one!
> 
> okay time to stop now, my notes are getting longer and longer, there's more I wanna say but can't fit here.  
> next chapter will be RV with a bit of bangtan, so pls anticipate!  
> thank you for reading!!!


	9. Boy meets Girl

**Yeri [3:26 PM]**

_Tzuyu-yah~, hello~_

_I heard you guys are sick?_

_Chaeyoungie and Nayeon-unnie won’t answer me_

 

**Tzuyu [3:29 PM]**

_yes_

_everyone is sick except Nayeon-unnie and me_

_we’ve been quarantined_

**Yeri [3:30 PM]**

_oh no_

_is it that bad??_

 

**Tzuyu [3:30 PM]**

_it’s quite bad_

**Yeri [3:31 PM]**

_tell them i said get well soon_

 

**Tzuyu [3:31 PM]**

_okay_

 

**~*~**

 

**Tzuyu [5:45 PM]**

_Chaeyoung says she’s sorry for not replying_

_she can’t go on her phone because it makes her head hurt_

 

**Yeri [5:45 PM]**

_oh that’s okay_

_she should just ignore my messages then_

_Nayeon-unnie isn’t sick right?_

 

**Tzuyu [5:46 PM]**

_no_

**Yeri [5:47 PM]**

_okay_

_just checking_

 

**Tzuyu [5:49 PM]**

_I told her to check her phone_

 

**Yeri [5:49 PM]**

_oh_

_thank you~_

 

**Tzuyu [5:54 PM]**

_she’s tired_

 

**Yeri [5:54 PM]**

_of course_

_it’s okay_

 

**~*~**

 

**Yeri [10:14 AM]**

_are you alive?_

 

**Tzuyu [10:16 AM]**

_just about_

 

**Yeri [10:17 AM]**

_hang in there_

 

**Tzuyu [10:17 AM]**

_i will_

 

**~*~**

 

**Tzuyu [3:22 PM]**

_i’m not dead_

_but i think Dahyunnie is_

 

**Yeri [3:22 PM]**

_oh no_  

_why??_

**Tzuyu [3:23 PM]**

_she’s been sleeping for 20 hours_

 

**Yeri [3:23 PM]**

_wow_

_rip_

 

**Tzuyu [3:24 PM]**

_at least she won’t steal my phone charger anymore_

 

**~*~**

 

**Tzuyu [5:41 PM]**

_day 6: we lost another today_

 

**Yeri [5:42 PM]**

_who this time?_

 

**Tzuyu [5:42 PM]**

_Jeongyeon-unnie_

_she slept for 23 hours_

 

**Yeri [5:43 PM]**

_how_

_i wish i could sleep that long_

 

**Tzuyu [5:43 PM]**

_me too_

 

**~*~**

 

**Tzuyu [2:18 AM]**

_do you know how to make soup_

 

**Yeri [2:21 AM]**

_??_

_it’s 2 in the morning???_

_why are you making soup??_

 

**Tzuyu [2:23 AM]**

_it’s 2 in the morning?_

_oh_

_sorry_

_I lost track of time_

 

**Yeri [2:24 AM]**

_lol it’s okay I’m up cause of a schedule anyway_

_but_

_still_

_what?_

 

**Tzuyu [2:24 AM]**

_for my members_

 

**Yeri [2:25 AM]**

_oh that’s nice_

_I don’t know how to make it though_

_have you asked google?_

 

**Tzuyu [2:25 AM]**

_google won’t tell me in words that make sense_

 

**Yeri [2:26 AM]**

_oh_

_screw google then_

_I’ll just ask Joohyun-unnie_

 

**~*~**

 

**Yeri [8:10 AM]**

_is your vocal lesson today?_

 

**Tzuyu [8:15 AM]**

_yes_

**Yeri [8:15 AM]**

_fighting! (^.^)_

 

**Tzuyu [8:15 AM]**

_thank you~_

 

**Yeri [8:16 AM]**

_Joohyun-unnie tried to teach me to make soup yesterday_

_i suck at it_

_i asked her for advice to give to you, and she said: “don’t do what Yeri did”_

 

**Tzuyu [8:16 AM]**

_i’ll keep that in mind_

 

**Yeri [8:17 AM]**

_!!_

_rude_

 

**Tzuyu [8:17 AM]**

_:)_

 

**~*~**

 

“I have an announcement.”

 

Yeri’s tired brain only just managed to pick up Joohyun’s words, directed at the rest of the group as they sat on the floor in the corner of the practice room, still getting their breath back from the rather gruelling dance lesson they'd just been through. Beside her, Sooyoung lifted her head to look in the direction of their leader.

 

“What is it?”

 

“I've been told-” Joohyun said, unscrewing the cap of her water bottle, “-that we’re going to have another collab.”

 

That seemed to wake everyone up a little.

 

“Really?” Seulgi said, sitting up properly with her back against the wall. “With who?”

 

“Guess.” Joohyun raised her eyebrows at them.

 

“Bangtan again?” Yeri asked before anyone else could say anything. She shifted round slightly so she was facing the others. Joohyun eyed her for a moment before sipping her water and passing the bottle to Seungwan, who looked on the brink of passing out.

 

“Yeah.” She confirmed finally.

 

Yeri lifted her hand weakly in celebration, too tired to do anything else.

 

“It's not a proper collab like last time, just a stage together. Cover each other’s songs, that kind of thing.”

 

“They have time to collab with us? Aren't they really busy?” Seungwan asked, still sounding slightly breathless.  

 

“They're _always_ busy.” Yeri sighed. “Jungkook is hardly ever free to talk.”

 

“Yes, well, our company wants to push the idea of us as a pair, I suppose. They're the biggest stars in the country right now, being associated with them like this is doing good things for us. Their company doesn't need it as much, I guess they just want positive attention on the couple.”

 

Joohyun paused after this statement, letting it sink in. Yeri looked over at the leader, wondering if the company had really been that blunt with her about what their intentions were, or if she'd figured it out for herself. Either were perfectly possible. It was undeniable that Red Velvet’s perceived ‘special relationship’ with the boy group was boosting their popularity, or at least helping more to know who they were. The more it was emphasised, the more this would be able to happen.

 

“This is great.” Sooyoung announced suddenly. “No, this is perfect.”

 

The others looked at her questioningly. She sat up straight, smiling with an all too familiar expression on her face. This expression told them that whatever she was going to say would be at the expense of one of them.  

 

“Seulgi-unnie, I've been thinking,”

 

“Oh no.” Seulgi muttered under her breath.

 

Sooyoung smirked at her. “I've been thinking,” she continued, “Seulgi-unnie, you need a boyfriend.”

 

Seulgi made a noise somewhere between shock and indignance while Seungwan and Yeri broke down into giggles.

 

“Okay, hear me out.” Sooyoung held up both of her hands. “I've been thinking this ever since our maknae beat us all to getting a boyfriend.” Yeri nodded in agreement. Sooyoung carried on. “I have never seen Kang Seulgi more excited. Yeri wasn't even as excited as you were.” She pointed at Seulgi in an almost accusatory way.

 

“Okay, Yeri was surprised. You were all surprised. Didn't you get just as excited later on?”

 

“Not _that_ excited. You were like a completely different person.” Sooyoung said.

 

“That's, that's an exaggeration.” Seulgi protested.

 

“So I think,” Sooyoung continued, ignoring her, “That you need a boyfriend.”

 

Seulgi sighed. “Whatever. I’m not even going to question your logic anymore.”

 

“But what does this have to do with our collab?” Seungwan asked. Sooyoung’s smirk deepened.

 

“Well…”

 

“Park Jimin!” Yeri exclaimed suddenly. Sooyoung snapped her fingers and pointed at her, jubilant.

 

“Yes, exactly!”

 

Seulgi put her head in her hands. “Are you guys serious?”

 

“C’mon unnie, there's a reason you guys have rumours. He's totally into you.” Sooyoung said, matter of fact. Seulgi lifted her head to shoot her an incredulous look.  

 

“Plus, he's your type.” Yeri giggled as she had to dodge the older girl’s half-hearted swatting at her. “Isn't he?”

 

“No, he's- even if he was it'd be crazy.” Seulgi exclaimed, giving up on trying to attack the two youngest with a huff.

 

“Excuse me, how is he not your type?” Sooyoung asked, almost indignant. “You've said it before, you like guys who aren't too tall, cute,”

 

“Guys who look good when they laugh…” Yeri continued.

 

“And good dancers.” Seungwan joined in.

 

Seulgi threw her hands up in annoyance. “All of that's a matter of opinion!”

 

“It's true though, isn't it?” Sooyoung said. “And his height isn't a matter of opinion.” She added.

 

Seulgi looked like she was about to reply, but seemingly words failed her. She opted instead to look at Joohyun for help, who simply shrugged and bit her lip, obviously trying not to laugh.

 

“I don’t have an opinion.”

 

Seulgi sighed and slumped against the wall as the others made no attempt to hide their amusement at the situation. They all fell back into silence briefly, as they lost interest in teasing their easily flustered teammate.

 

Some time after they’d all fallen quiet, Yeri saw Seungwan move closer to Seulgi and lean her head on her shoulder. Seulgi didn’t usually enjoy skinship all that much, but perhaps because of how this practice seemed to have taken a particular toll on Seungwan, she didn’t even shift. On Yeri’s other side, Sooyoung pulled out her phone and surveyed her lack of notifications for a moment before setting it aside with a sigh.

 

“Should we get snacks now or later?” She broke the silence, seeming to address no one in particular.  

 

“Now.” Joohyun said after a moment’s consideration. “I don’t think we’ll have time later.”

 

“Okay,” Sooyoung said, “Who's gonna get them?”

 

“You could get them.” Seulgi suggested. She looked over at Yeri. “Either of you. You never get them.”

 

“You two play,” Joohyun said, indicating the youngest, “Loser can go get the stuff.”

 

“What? Why only us?” Sooyoung complained.

 

“Cause you never do!” Seulgi repeated.

 

“It’s not our fault you guys are so bad at rock-paper-scissors!” Yeri protested.

 

The others looked unimpressed with this excuse.

 

“Whatever.” Sooyoung sighed. She turned to face Yeri. “C’mon, let’s do this.”

 

Yeri rolled her eyes. “Fine.”

 

“Rock, paper, scissors!”

 

Yeri stared down at her clenched hand as Sooyoung lifted both of hers in celebration. She slumped against the wall in a delayed reaction of annoyance.

 

“Oh for fu-”

 

“Great, now that's sorted, what should we get?” Joohyun interrupted the youngest’s complaints easily, ignoring her irritated glare in the direction of the rest of them.

 

“Get chips.” Seulgi said. “Something like that.”

 

“No, I want chocolate.” Sooyoung said.

 

Yeri shrugged as she stood.

 

“I can get both. Seungwan-unnie?” She looked to the member who hadn't spoken in a while.

 

“Hm?” Seungwan said. “Oh, I’m not hungry.” She offered a small smile.

 

“You’re not hungry? How?” Sooyoung turned to look at her incredulously. “We haven't eaten yet today.”

 

“I ate a little this morning.” Seungwan responded.

 

“Oh.” Sooyoung said. Everyone fell quiet for a moment. Yeri cleared her throat slightly awkwardly and glanced at Joohyun.

 

“I'll, uh,  just get both.” She said again. Joohyun nodded and Yeri turned to head out of the practice room.

 

One of the things about being at this company was that the company building was big, with a lot of things in it, and you didn't have to actually leave it to get food. This was because the building basically had its own convenience store inside it.  The only problem was, it was just about as far away from the practice rooms as you could get. Once Yeri finally arrived and bought the stuff she intended to (she paused in front of Seungwan’s favourite brand of chocolate for a moment before getting it too), she headed out of the sort-of-convenience store into the corridor on the ground floor, near to the entrance of the building.

 

“Hey, Yeri.” A familiar voice caught her attention, she turned quickly.

 

“Jaehyun-oppa.” She smiled, pleasantly surprised to see him.

 

Jaehyun offered her a tired smile in return.

 

“What's up?”

 

“Snack run.” Yeri held up her bag. “Been practicing since this morning, we needed sustenance. You?”

 

Jaehyun sighed. “I'm supposed to be doing filming, but we’re missing two members. They might be a while yet, so we’re just kinda hanging around.” He gestured up the corridor to where the others were standing around.

 

“I see.” Yeri looked over in the general direction of the other members and waved at them. “Wanna walk with me for a bit then?” She looked back at Jaehyun.

 

“Sure.”

 

They walked fairly slowly back in the direction of Yeri’s practice room. Jaehyun explained on the way how exactly they had ended up minus two members.

 

“The kids were doing a photoshoot but they got held up.” He sighed again. “I don't know exactly how they got held up, but they have.”

 

“The dreamies?” Yeri asked.

 

Jaehyun nodded. “Yeah.”

 

“Hm…” Yeri hummed in response. “Tell Mark and Haechan-ie not to work too hard.”

 

“I will.” Jaehyun said with a wry smile.

 

The conversation turned to Yeri and her news, she told him about the upcoming collaboration and what they were expecting it to include.  
  
“Oh, that's cool.” Jaehyun paused. “They have enough time for that?”  
  
“We've all been saying that.” Yeri laughed. “I don't think they sleep. They're so busy all the time, I swear.”

 

“Yeah, they must be.” Jaehyun agreed. He paused again, his expression contemplative. “I haven’t spoken to Jungkook in a while now.”

 

Yeri glanced at him. “You haven’t?”

 

“No. Apparently no one has. None of the 97 line guys have heard from him.” He sighed. “Actually… I was kind of worried. I was wondering if you’d heard anything.”

 

“I mean, he’s busy, but we do text about every other day.” Yeri said slowly. “So… that is kinda weird.”

 

They slowed their pace down to a stop as they reached the elevator. Yeri turned to face Jaehyun.

 

“I’ll- I’ll try talking to him about it.” She said. Jaehyun frowned slightly, considering.

 

“I mean, I kinda have some idea what might be happening.”

 

Yeri paused, her finger on the elevator button, a sudden thought hitting her with a jolt.

 

“Maybe it’s got something to do with Yugyeom.”

 

“Oh?” Yeri relaxed slightly. _Okay. He doesn’t think that. It’s fine, chill._

 

“Yeah, he’s not talking either. Or when he is, it’s never when Jungkook is. It’s like they’re avoiding each other.”

 

“Maybe they had a fight?” Yeri said, idly pressing the button multiple times as if that would speed it up.

 

“Maybe…” Jaehyun said. He was looking at her now, his expression thoughtful. Yeri paused. The elevator dinged behind her, making her jump.

 

“I’ll talk to him.” She said quickly, adjusting the bags she was holding into both of her hands. Jaehyun’s expression shifted and he smiled at her.

 

“Thanks. Sorry for dumping this on you.” He lifted a hand. “See you later!”

 

Yeri pressed the button for her floor.

 

“See you, oppa.”

 

The doors closed, and she let out a heavy sigh.

 

_Stop being so paranoid._

 

*****

 

“Okay, that’s enough for today.” The choreographer called out over the music resounding through the room. “You’ve worked hard.”

 

Yeri and Jungkook pulled away from the slightly intimate ending pose of their dance to bow to and thank the choreographer before turning to face each other and hi-fiving.

 

“Good job,” Jungkook said, still catching his breath.

 

“You too.” Yeri replied. Or at least tried to reply. She was so out of breath that it was probably unintelligible.

 

Unsurprisingly, it seemed this collab was going to be primarily focused on the two of them. In their previous collab, they had just sung the intro for their stage together, it was during rehearsals for that when they’d become friends. This time, they had an entire segment of just them, together, and they were to dance together as well as sing. And that meant _together_ together. Not something either of them had done before.  

 

“The concept for this is kind of… forbidden love.” The choreographer explained to them before teaching the dance. “You want to be together, but you have to hold back. It’s subtle, but romantic, a little bit sexy. That kind of feeling.”

 

Yeri exchanged a look with Jungkook as all of this was explained to them. Something about this concept resounded with her, and she knew it probably did with him too. There was just something slightly ironic about them doing it together.

 

Ironic or not, it was certainly tiring. Yeri wasn’t a bad dancer, but she wasn’t used to this kind of dance, and it took a lot of effort to master and even more energy to perfect. As a result, by the end of it, she kinda felt like dying.

 

“I’m out of water.” Yeri picked up her water bottle as they trailed to the other end of the room. She held the bottle upside down, watching as barely a drop fell out of it, before slumping against the wall. She was way too tired out to move.

 

“Me too.” Jungkook said, holding up his own bottle. He glanced down at her. “I’ll get us some more.”

 

“Really? Thanks.” Yeri held out hers for him to take, smiling tiredly as he headed from the room. They were in one of SM’s practice rooms, as this collab was mainly happening because of them. Since only Yeri and Jungkook has been practicing, the entirety of their groups were not there with them. Joohyun had another schedule elsewhere, as did Sooyoung, and all three of BTS’s rappers were back at their own company. That meant that aside from the two maknaes, there was only five of them. Yeri tuned out whatever the staff were now saying to these five and instead opted to just sit there for a while until she felt like she could actually move a muscle again.

 

Once she had reached this point, she opened her eyes again, scanning the room without really looking at anything, and eventually pulling out her phone.

 

**Tzuyu [4:24 PM]**

_I went to the convenience store to buy perfume then realised there was none there_

_so I panicked and bought ice cream_  

 _but I’m on a diet_  

 _so I can’t eat the ice cream, I have to just live with knowing it’s there_  

 _but I took this picture of the sunrise on the way back_  

 _[photo]_  

_so I think it’s a win overall_

 

Yeri honestly didn’t even know where to start with all of that.

 

**Yeri [4:42 PM]**

_what time were you at the store?_

_why were you buying perfume there?_

_why didn’t you just leave?_

_why ice cream?_

_and finally: that’s a good picture_

 

**Tzuyu [4:43 PM]**

_I don’t knowx4 and thank you_

 

**Yeri [4:43 PM]**

_I think you should sleep like right now_

 

**Tzuyu [4:44 PM]**

_you are probably right_

 

“Here.” A shadow fell over Yeri, and she looked up with a smile as Jungkook handed her the refilled bottle.

 

“Thank you.” She took a moment to drink half in one go, then had to pause to take a breath. She knew she had to be pretty exhausted if even the act of drinking seemed to tire her out. Yeri glanced up again after a moment’s pause, watching Jungkook lower his own now half empty bottle, his eyes on the centre of the room.

 

“What are they doing?”

 

“Hm?” Yeri shifted her gaze to where he was looking, where before she had only vaguely registered there were some people practising. She hadn’t noticed who exactly they were.

 

Jimin and Seulgi.

 

A slightly older BTS song was playing on low volume, and Park Jimin was dancing to it, moving with the practiced ease and grace only a dancer could pull off. He went through several key parts of the choreography before pausing, waiting as Seulgi stepped up to the mirror beside him to copy his movements. Someone put the music back and they danced again, together this time, in unison.

 

“I think he’s teaching her your dance.” Yeri said slowly, still not quite believing what she was seeing. As much as they had teased her about him before, in reality Seulgi had barely interacted with Jimin at all. In their previous collab the two had been expressly forbidden from being near each other, both of their companies extremely wary of rumours. Although dating rumours had existed between the two groups before, none were quite to the extent of Jimin and Seulgi. They have never been allowed to so much as look at each other. And yet, here they were. Dancing with each other.

 

Yeri looked back up at Jungkook, finally recovered from the initial surprise. “It must be for the cover stage.”

 

They were both quiet as they watched the pair continue to dance in sync. Jimin was advising Seulgi on how to execute a particular move, demonstrating and gesturing as he spoke. Seulgi made an attempt and he turned to help her, his hand suddenly coming dangerously close to landing on her hip, stopping just short of touching her.

 

Jungkook averted his eyes abruptly and drank some more water.

 

“Jungkook?” Yeri waited a few moments before saying anything else. She reached up to tug lightly on the hem of his shirt. “Come sit with me.”

 

Jungkook finally seemed to recover from his zoned-out state and complied, sinking into a sitting position next to Yeri. She shot him a slightly bemused look.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Sure.”

 

They were both quiet again for a moment. Jimin was dancing alone again, demonstrating a different part of the dance.

 

“Ah, he’s such a good dancer.” Yeri remarked quietly as they both watched. She glanced in Jungkook’s direction for a reaction, but he barely seemed to have heard her, too focused on watching the dancer. She was about to say something else, but it was at that moment when Jimin looked up and straight at the pair of them through the mirror. Yeri blinked and inclined her head automatically as they made direct eye contact. His gaze didn’t stay on her for long, quickly shifting to the person next to her. Jimin’s eyes landed on Jungkook and he just stared for a moment, his expression slightly confused. Yeri glanced to the side, turning just in time to see Jungkook lower his head and study the label on his water bottle as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. There was a pause.

 

“Um.” She said. He looked up. “What was that?”

 

“What was what?” Jungkook said, breaking their brief eye contact. He pulled at the label of the bottle, shifted where was sitting, changing positions like he was uncomfortable.

 

“That.” Yeri said. “That… look between you guys.”

 

“What? What look?” Jungkook replied a little too quickly, laughing awkwardly. He looked up again to scan the room, looking everywhere except at Jimin. Yeri kept watching him, thoroughly confused at this point.

 

Why was he acting so weird? He had been fine just a short while ago, when they were dancing, and joking around before that, everything had been fine. Now he seemed totally uncomfortable about something.

 

Yeri tilted her head as she watched him finish his quick scan of the room and glance up to the ceiling, blinking at the bright lights. The way he was behaving now kind of reminded her of something. It was almost like the way male idols often acted at award shows or festivals, usually  when the female idols were performing and they were trying not to-

 

Oh.

 

_Oh._

 

“Oh.” She said out loud, staring now with dawning realisation.

 

“Hm?” Jungkook looked back at her finally, lifting up his bottle to drink. Yeri carried on watching him, considering.

 

“You like him, don’t you?”

 

Jungkook choked on the water.

 

“I- you- what-” He made several incoherent noises and Yeri reached over to pat him on the back rather ineffectively.

 

“Jimin-ssi.” She said, lowering her voice slightly, “Do you?”

 

“Do I, what, Jimin? Why would you think that?!” He said, seeming to recover slightly and looking outraged. Yeri tilted her head again as she surveyed him.

 

“You were looking at him before, that’s why he looked over here. And then you pretended you weren’t and tried not to look again for like two minutes.”

 

“He was dancing, of course I was looking at him, so were you. That doesn’t mean anything.” Jungkook said. “And I wasn’t trying not to look, what does that even mean? I just looked around the room for a moment.”

 

There was a pause.

 

“You’re blushing,” Yeri observed simply.

 

Jungkook stared at her and lifted a hand to his face, “No I’m not.”

 

“Your face is red.”

 

“No it’s not.”

 

Yeri raised her eyebrows at him. “Um, yes it is.”

 

“It’s hot in here.”

 

Yeri gave him an unimpressed look.

 

“It is!”

 

“Is that why he looked confused when he looked over here?” She said, ignoring his excuse. “Because you were checking him out?”

 

Jungkook choked on thin air this time.

 

“What the- what are you saying?”

 

Yeri continued to ignore his protests. “Oh, and when they got close you acted weird. When he got close to her. Cause you were jea-”

 

“Can you keep your voice down?!” Jungkook interrupted her, looking slightly panicked.

 

“They can’t hear us.” Yeri said, indicating the others. Jungkook just frowned and didn’t reply. Yeri sighed. “Shall we talk somewhere else, then?”

 

Jungkook just looked at her for a moment, as if he was weighing his options.

 

“Fine.” He muttered finally, pulling himself off the ground. Yeri quickly followed. The exited the practice room, ignoring the way the others were watching them.

 

It didn’t take long for them to find an unoccupied room. Yeri knew her way around this place, and she knew from experience how to find places where you could have privacy. She pulled Jungkook into an open storage closet only just along the corridor, he looked slightly bemused but let her.

 

“You know, I’d rather not talk about this at all.” He said as Yeri struggled to close the door.

 

“Talk about what?” She gave up and left the door ajar. “You never answered my question.” She turned to face him. There was a moment of silence.

 

“I don’t… _like_ him. It’s not- I can’t.” Jungkook said finally, his words strained. He moved backwards to sit heavily on a table behind him. Yeri just looked at him for a moment.

 

“I don’t.” He repeated. “I can’t.”

 

“It’s not like you can control it…” Yeri started slowly.

 

“Yeah, but still.” He focused on the ground instead of making eye contact. Yeri moved away from the door and pulled herself onto the table beside him. “We’re in the same group.” Jungkook continued, “We’re supposed to be like brothers. He sees me like that, as a brother. And I still…”

 

Another pause.

 

“It sucks.” Yeri said quietly.

 

“It’s fucked up.” Jungkook said bitterly. “ _I’m_ fucked up.”

 

“No you’re not.” Yeri said, almost automatically. “If you say that about yourself, you’re saying that about me too, you know.” She added, laughing without much humour.

 

Jungkook glanced up at her and shook his head slowly. “It’s different.”

 

“How is it different?” Yeri asked. “We’re the same, aren’t we?” A touch of uncertainty was apparent in her voice.

 

“You haven’t done anything wrong.”

 

“And you have?” Yeri turned to look at him properly, confused. “I’ve liked people too, you know.”

 

There was a beat of silence.

 

“I kissed one of my best friends.” He spoke so quickly Yeri almost thought she misheard him.

 

“You- huh?” She said after another short silence.

 

“I kissed one of my friends.” Jungkook repeated.

 

“Really?” That was the only thing she could think of to say.

 

“In public. Backstage at a music show.” Jungkook continued.  

 

“A guy?” Yeri wasn’t sure why she asked the most obvious question first. Jungkook snorted with laughter.

 

“Yeah. A guy. Who’s supposed to be my friend. Probably isn’t anymore.”

 

“What did he do? I mean, when you…” Yeri trailed off, still reeling slightly from this sudden revelation.

 

“Nothing.” Jungkook shrugged.

 

“Nothing?”

 

“Yeah. Guess I got lucky, huh? Any other guy probably would’ve hit me.” Jungkook laughed again, without any humour.

 

“Wait, what do you mean, nothing?”

 

“He just didn’t react, I don’t know. He didn’t even push me away, he just didn’t move.” He shrugged again.

 

“Huh.” Yeri said blankly.

 

Jungkook waved it off. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t even know why I did it.”

 

“Well, did you, you know, like him?” Yeri asked, trying to piece things together.

 

“I don’t think so?” It sounded like a question.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“No.” Jungkook half-laughed helplessly. “I don’t think it was that. He’s just, you know…” He trailed off, clearly not wanting to finish that sentence. They stared at each other for a moment.

 

“Hot?” Yeri supplied helpfully.

 

“No, it’s not-” He paused again. There was a moment of silence during which he seemed to be struggling internally, judging from his facial expression. “Oh my god.” He said finally, slumping backwards against the wall and causing Yeri to break down into giggles.

 

“So you don’t like him like that, he’s just good-looking.”

 

Jungkook sighed heavily and put his head in his hands. “God.” He said simply, voice slightly muffled, and that seemed like an answer.

 

“You know,” Yeri started, attempting to fling her arm around his shoulders but failing due to their height difference, settling for just leaning on his shoulder. “You’ve still not convinced me that you’re worse than me, you know. I mean, what you did was stupid, but… we’re still the same.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Jungkook glanced down at her, looking unconvinced.

 

“Yeah.” Yeri paused. “I… actually did have feelings for my best friend.” She said her confession as quickly as he had, preventing herself from stopping at the last second.

 

Jungkook stared at her.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah.” She fixed her gaze on a point on the wall. “We were really close. Like, really close. Really good friends, even though she’s younger than me.”

 

Jungkook said nothing, waiting for her to continue. She tapped a nail nervously against the table they were using as a seat before clearing her throat unnecessarily and speaking again.

 

“I always used to say we were like boyfriend and girlfriend, and when I got asked about my type, I said I wanted to date her.” Yeri laughed. “Thinking about it, it was really obvious, I just didn’t realise at the time.” Her smile faded and she frowned slightly. “Or maybe I didn’t like her then, I don’t know. I don’t know when it started.”

 

Jungkook nodded in understanding “You never did anything though, right?” He asked. Yeri shook her head slowly.

 

“No… I guess not.” She hesitated then added as an afterthought. “I mean, I thought about it a lot, and I felt pretty shit about that.”

 

“Thought about…?”

 

“Doing what you did.”

 

They were both quiet for a short moment.

 

Yeri looked back over at him. “See, we’re the same, you’re just more…” She paused deliberately.

 

“Impulsive?” Jungkook suggested.

 

Yeri raised her eyebrows. “I was gonna say horny.”

 

Jungkook choked on nothing again as Yeri dissolved into giggles.

 

“You are not as innocent as you look, you know that?” He managed to get out, which just made her laugh harder.

 

“I look innocent?” She put her head on one side in some kind of imitation of a cute pose.

 

“Not now I know what’s going on inside your head.”

 

“You don’t know the half of it.” Yeri said, smirking. They just looked at each other briefly before both breaking down into laughter, the ridiculousness of their conversation becoming too much.

 

Yeri was glad for it, honestly, things had been getting just a little too heavy for her liking. It was good to be able to talk like this, but not so miserably as they had been doing. Nothing but how bad their situations were and all the reasons why they were bad. And feeling bad for themselves about how bad they were. She glanced over at Jungkook, whose head was tilted back with laughter, looking to be in a better mood than he had all day.

 

Maybe they just needed to stop beating themselves up so much all the time.

 

“Who is she?” Jungkook broke the silence abruptly. Yeri blinked at him, taken aback.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Uh, your best friend. Sorry. I didn’t ask before.”

 

“Oh.” Yeri felt strangely thrown off by the question. “Um, Kim Saeron?”

 

“Ah…” Jungkook said, his face lighting up with recognition. “Yeah, I know her.”

 

There was another brief pause. He cleared his throat. “Didn’t know you were friends.” His expression shifted slightly as something seemed to occur to him. “You are still friends, right?”

 

“What? Oh, yeah, of course.” Jungkook just looked at her, his next question written all over his face. She sighed. “I’m over her.”

 

“You are?”

 

“Yeah. Totally.” She gave him a sideways look. “Does that surprise you?”

 

“I guess. I don’t know.” He shifted slightly, seeming uncomfortable. “How, uh, how did that happen?”

 

“How’d I get over her?”

 

He nodded.

 

“Oh.” Yeri had to pause for a moment to gather her thoughts. “Well, um… We grew apart, for a while when I figured it out. I put distance between us cause I was scared. She called me out on it though. Asked me why I was avoiding her. So… we talked it out, I guess.”

 

“You told her?”

 

Yeri waved a hand. “No, no. I didn’t tell her that. We just talked about us, as friends, and how much that meant to us. I guess I just…” She paused again. “Just… I figured that I liked her better as my best friend. If that makes sense.”

 

“Kind of…” Jungkook said slowly.

 

Another pause. It was even briefer this time.

 

“You should talk to him.” Yeri said quietly.

 

“Who?” Jungkook looked at the ceiling. Yeri was silent. He looked back down and sighed. “Jimin? I have talked to him.” He looked away again. “It’s fine. It won’t be like this forever. It’ll go away.”

 

Yeri didn’t realise this was a veiled question until he looked back at her yet again.

 

“Yeah.” She bit back the ‘ _probably’_

 

“Then I can handle it.”

 

If he doubted this it didn’t show on his face. He was determined that he would handle it, although what exactly he’d handle wasn’t entirely clear. Yeri decided not to ask.

 

“Who’s _your_ best friend?” She said instead, quite suddenly.

 

“Mine?” Jungkook said, looking taken aback at that conversation being brought back.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Kim Yugyeom.”

 

“Kim Yugyeom?” Yeri echoed, shocked.

 

“Yeah.” Jungkook said. “He’s from GOT-”

 

“I know who he is.” Yeri cut in impatiently. “He’s the one you-”

 

“Yeah.” Jungkook said quickly, clearly not wanting her to repeat it.

 

“Really…”  Yeri said simply. It clearly wasn’t a question, so Jungkook didn’t respond.

 

Oh. That made a lot of sense, actually. The weird way he had acted with her before, at the meet-up, he _had_ known something. Kind of. From his perspective, the whole situation was probably really confusing. If Jungkook had just kissed him and then offered no explanation, then he had no idea about anything that was actually going on. That meant that Yugyeom didn’t know their secret, didn’t know that their relationship was fake. If that was the case, then why hadn’t he said anything to anyone? Had he?

 

Instead of voicing all of these thoughts, what Yeri ended up saying was, for some reason, “How was it?”

 

“How was what?” Jungkook stared at her confusedly.

 

“The kiss, duh.” Yeri said, watching his eyes widen slightly in surprise.

 

“Why do you want to know?” He huffed, looking away. “I’ve tried to forget about it.”

 

“Just cause.” Yeri shuffled slightly closer to him. “You’ve had girlfriends before, right?” She propped her chin on her hand, watching him. He nodded, still not looking. “And you kissed them?”

 

“Sure, once or twice, maybe. I don’t remember.”

 

“Is it different?” She didn’t wait for him to answer, asking the real question instead. “Is it better?”

 

Jungkook looked back at her finally, his expression neutral. “Is it better? A pause. “With a guy? Than with a girl?”

 

He looked away briefly, and just as Yeri was starting to worry that she’d seriously annoyed him this time, the corner of his mouth turned up and he let out a short laugh.

 

“Honestly? It’s way better.”

 

Yeri just stared at him for a moment before breaking down and joining him in laughter. It wasn’t really that funny, but they laughed about it anyway. What else could they do?

 

“I thought kissing was overrated before.” Jungkook started. “But, damn.” He shook his head. “You know…” He paused, as if he was considering something carefully. “You know when you’re with other people, to eat or whatever. And you forget which drink is yours and you drink the wrong one.”

 

“Um… Yes?” Yeri said.

 

“If your drink is like, lemonade or something, but then you accidentally drink water instead.”

 

“Ah…” Yeri said slowly. “Okay?”

 

“It’s not like it tastes bad, it just doesn’t taste of anything at all. It’s kinda disappointing.” He paused again, thinking. “That’s what kissing girls is like.”

 

Yeri just blinked at him for a moment. He looked back, equally wide eyed, looking slightly confused himself.

 

“That made more sense in my head.”

 

“It…” Yeri said, “actually makes sense. I think.”

 

“Does it?” Jungkook asked. “Now that I’m saying it out loud it makes no sense.”

 

“No, it does.” Yeri nodded to herself, brow furrowed in thought. “So, guys are lemonade, right?”

 

Jungkook snorted. “Something like that.”

 

There was a pause and they both fell silent. Music was audible from here, coming from the different practice rooms surrounding them and filtering through the gap in the doorway, reminding them of where they were supposed to be. Not here, hiding in this storage closet, discussing things that shouldn’t be discussed. If anybody found them here, they’d probably assume the worst. But then again, that was probably better than knowing the truth.

 

“You’re too hard on yourself, you know.” She said suddenly. Jungkook looked at her in surprise. “You screwed up, sure, but I don’t think you’re a bad person.” He stared at her for a moment, looking contemplative, then smiled slightly.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Just don’t do it again.” Yeri said after a pause, and he laughed, again, genuinely.

 

“I won’t, don’t worry.”

 

The music around them seemed to have got even louder, there were different songs coming from different directions now, different practice rooms throughout the building. Some of them were recognisable, some of them not, new releases presumably. All of them had the same story of relentless practice behind them.

 

“It sucks.” Jungkook said, matter of fact. Yeri looked towards the gap in the doorway, one of the recognisable songs filtering through. She made eye contact with Jungkook as his own voice echoed rooms away from them, drawing out a note in the pre-chorus. They both smiled.

  
“It sucks.” She agreed.  
  
In the silence that followed that, Jungkook’s voice became Jimin’s as the song hit its chorus and he looked away, towards the wall. Yeri reached out a hand towards his. He let her take it wordlessly. They had never done that before, not even on dates. Somehow it felt right for this moment, Yeri wasn’t sure why.  
  
She just wished that it made her feel something more than it did.

 

*****

 

Seulgi pulled the messy bun in her hair tighter as she surveyed her appearance critically in the bathroom mirror. She was sweating so much, she hadn’t noticed back in the practice room but her face was shining with it, the lights in the bathroom were doing her no favours. She wouldn’t care much about what she looked like in practice usually, but today she was surrounded by people she didn’t know that well, and felt the need to keep up a good image.

 

She was taking a break, for now at least, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little glad about it. Not just because she was exhausted. Having to work with Jimin was… awkward, to say the least. Seulgi rearranged some stray hairs to try and look more presentable, dragged a finger down her cheek as she wondered if she should re-do her make-up. Maybe stalling returning to practice, just slightly.

 

Ever since the first small rumour circulated about the pair of them, before they had even blown up properly, Seulgi had had it drilled into her that interacting with Park Jimin was a definite no. It had been cause for stress when they were told they had to collab, Seulgi knew she had to work hard to not even glance in his direction, which is virtually impossible trying to keep formation with twelve people, and even then if he did the slightest thing then she’d be in trouble too.

 

Having to actually talk to him and work with him after all that was predictably awkward. But, at least they had dance. They both had dance. Jimin lost himself in dance the same way she did, it was noticeable, she saw it in his expressions when she wasn’t dancing herself.

 

Maybe they were well-matched. Seulgi scoffed with laughter as she gave herself one last look in the mirror before exiting the bathroom. Back to work.

 

As she headed back in the direction of the practice room, voices somewhere off to her right suddenly got her attention. Not unusual in the SM building, but slightly unusual when coming from a storage closet. She paused, listening, and smiled as she recognised one of the voices immediately. They had left together earlier.

 

Seulgi was about to start walking again when something stopped her. The voice was just loud enough, she was just close enough for the words to reach Seulgi’s ears. And the words were enough to make her move closer, despite her better judgement.

 

“-girlfriends before, right?” Yeri’s voice. “And you kissed them?”

 

“Sure, once or twice, maybe. I don’t remember.” Jungkook responded. He sounded resigned. Seulgi bit her lip, moving even closer to the door.

 

“Is it different? Is it better?” Seulgi had to struggle not to make a sound at that. What was Yeri doing, asking about past girlfriends? Asking _that_ about past girlfriends? She made a mental note to try and bring it up later without Yeri suspecting her eavesdropping.

 

“Is it better?” Jungkook repeated her question back at her. His tone did not sound good. “With a guy? Than with a girl?”

 

Wait, what?

 

Seulgi’s train of thought screeched to a halt as those words registered.

 

“Honestly?” Jungkook continued, “it’s way better.”

 

What.

 

Laughter followed that statement, and Seulgi stepped away from the door, stumbled, suddenly hit with the sense that she really shouldn’t be there. It only took the slightest sound of movement inside the room for her to turn and hurry away as quickly and quietly as possible, practically throwing herself through the door of the practice room. The others all looked at her in surprise as she re-entered the room in such a hurry.

 

“Seulgi-ssi?” Jimin looked confused. “Are, uh, are you okay?”

 

Seulgi brushed the stray hair from her face and smiled briefly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you. Are you ready?”  

 

Jimin nodded slowly, turning back to face the mirror is she moved up to stand next to him, ignoring the questioning looks she was getting.

 

They continued to practice, Yeri and Jungkook came back after a while, went through their routine for a while until it was decided they should all practice together. Eventually, they had to go their separate ways for different schedules, so they  thanked the staff and said goodbye.

 

All the while, Seulgi forced it out of her mind.

 

It wasn’t until they were in the van on their way to another schedule when it was brought back to the forefront.

 

“Don’t do that.” Seulgi half jumped in surprise at the sudden voice. The words came from Joohyun, who had come with the staff to collect them from the studio, having been picked up from her CF filming on the way. They were now on their way to get Sooyoung. Yeri and Seungwan were hunched in the corner together, sharing earphones and watching something on a phone that made them laugh loudly every ten seconds. Joohyun and Seulgi were in the other corner, silent until this point.

 

“Do what?”

 

“You’re biting your nail.” Joohyun batted her hand away from her mouth. Seulgi blinked, and then smiled sheepishly.

 

“Right.” She folded her hands in her lap and looked straight ahead.

 

“Everything okay?” Joohyun’s eyes were still on her.

 

“Fine.” Seulgi said. “Just tired.”

 

Joohyun nodded in understanding, a sympathetic smile on her lips which didn’t quite reach her eyes, eyes which continued to roam Seulgi’s face searchingly. She didn’t buy it. It was clear that she didn’t buy it for a second. But she didn’t press the matter either. Seulgi’s attention drifted back to the other two members as something in their video made Yeri laugh so hard she had to stop it and pull her earphone out.

 

She seemed perfectly fine, perfectly normal.

 

If something was ever wrong with Yeri, usually Seulgi would be one of the first to know. Even if she went to Joohyun or other seniors first, Yeri would always go to her in the end. Seulgi would always listen, without judgement, try her best to help, just _be_ there. Yeri knew that, right?

 

Since when did Seulgi know so little about what was going on with her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look who's not dead?
> 
> welcome to chapter 9 of bfgfetc aka the one where jungri talk a lot in a closet (lol)
> 
> okay i'm sorry i know it's been like two months since i last updated. but i have returned with vengeance (well 7k words but same thing)  
> uhh so surprise?? i was gone for quite a while i know, may was a busy month and exams want me to die. i also lost quite a lot of motivation but dw i'm over that now. i hope people like this chapter, i'm pretty sure it's the longest i've written yet and it's pretty dialogue heavy. we're getting to the point in the plot where stuff, um, actually happens. (should i tag this with slow burn i feel like i should) yeahhh i promise we'll be getting somewhere soon. (btw the 'dreamies' that yeri mentions are nct dream, the unit of children)
> 
> alllllsooooo guess who failed to get bts london tickets that's right it's ya girl (cry with me uk army)
> 
> anyway that concludes today's way too long note, let's hope i can get my shit together and write quicker next time


	10. One of those people

_“No, seriously, it sucks that you’re not gonna be there.” Seokmin reached out to clap Jaehyun on the shoulder, but missed and ended up hitting him lightly on the arm._

 

_Jaehyun shrugged. “It’s cool.” He lifted the nearest bottle of soju to pour himself a drink. “You’ll just have to tell me about it.” His words were slightly slurred, he was a little drunk. Honestly, they were all a little drunk._

 

_This was the first time all of the 97 line guys had been able to meet up like this, most of the time it could only be a couple of them. They had managed to meet up this time, because it had been Yugyeom’s birthday fairly recently and they were all officially of age now. So naturally, they had all gathered together to get drunk. The seven of them were gathered in the corner of a private bar away from prying eyes, so they could pretty much do and say what they wanted._

 

_The topic that was currently dominating conversation was the end of year celebrations. All of them (apart from Jaehyun) were to be involved in a stage for idols who had come of age that year. That would be cause for excitement anyway, but it wasn’t just a stage for male idols._

 

_“Jungkook has to stand next to Yuju.” Mingyu took great delight in informing Jaehyun. “They have to sing part of the song to each other too.”_

 

_“Oh, can he handle that?” Jaehyun said, feigning concern._

 

_“I don’t think he can.” Bambam said seriously, shaking his head as the others started to crack up._

 

_“Fuck all of you.” Jungkook said without much conviction, taking another drink._

 

_Discussing the girls they were sharing the stage was was basically inevitable, and Yuju was the one they ended up focused on, much to Seokmin’s dismay._

 

_“Ya!” Seokmin shoved Minghao in the shoulder following a particular comment. “She’s my friend, shut up.”_

 

_“Myungho, you have a one-track mind.” Yugyeom called over as him and Bambam hi-fived, laughing slightly hysterically._

 

_“Don’t you think so, though?” Minghao looked across the table at them. Yugyeom shook his head at him, glancing in Seokmin’s direction and trying not to laugh. Minghao huffed. “Jungkook, you get me, right?”_

 

_Jungkook looked up from where he had been staring into his soju, zoned out. “Uh…” He looked so lost that Yugyeom decided to rescue him._

 

_“No, I think he’s more interested in Jung Chaeyeon.” Yugyeom glanced at him, only having to turn his head slightly as they were sitting right next to each other. “Right?”_

 

_Jungkook looked over to meet his eyes. “Right.” They stared at each other for a split second long enough for it to be awkward before someone else spoke._

 

_“Oh, I forgot about that.” Bambam said. “She’s your type, huh? Chaeyeon.”_

 

_Everyone was looking in their direction now. Jungkook picked up the bottle of soju and poured himself another drink, swirling it around. Yugyeom looked at him again, trying to read his expression. Embarrassed, maybe?_

 

_“Yeah.” Jungkook said abruptly. He looked down, hesitating. “She’s hot.” He spoke quickly, immediately taking a drink afterwards- and promptly choking on it._

 

_“Whoa, hey, you okay?” Mingyu, who was sitting on his other side, reached over to pat his shoulder gingerly as he coughed. “How much have you had? Maybe you should slow down.”_

 

_“I’m- okay-” Jungkook said incoherently. “I’m gonna- bathroom-”_

 

_Yugyeom and Mingyu supported him awkwardly as he got up to stumble out of the room. When he was gone, there was a brief pause before somebody laughed and somebody made to order more drinks, and the atmosphere returned to normal._

 

_“Yugyeom.” Minghao said his name just as the others were beginning to start up individual conversations amongst themselves. Yugyeom started slightly, still staring at the door Jungkook had just left through._

 

_“Yeah?”_

 

_Minghao seemed to consider something for a moment, frowning._

 

_“Why does he hate it so much?”_

 

_It didn’t take a genius to figure out who he was talking about, but that wasn’t the confusing part._

 

_“Hate what?”_

 

_“You know,” Minghao gestured vaguely. “Girl talk.”_

 

 _Bambam snorted. “_ Girl talk. _”_

 

_Minghao took a swipe at his arm and he yelped in protest._

 

_“Uh…” Yugyeom paused. “I don't think he hates it. He’s just shy.”_

 

_“Hm…” Minghao looked away. Yugyeom was about to speak again, but it was at that moment that Jungkook re-entered the room, so he shut up hurriedly._

 

_For the rest of the night, they talked about anything but the stage, and the brief exchange was completely forgotten._

 

_They drank far too much that night, that was indisputable. They were definitely drunk by the end of it, but not so much so they couldn’t get home safely. Most of them, anyway. Everything would have been okay if it hadn’t been for two things: 1. Jeon Jungkook drank twice as much as the rest of them, and 2. Jeon Jungkook was a complete lightweight._

 

_That was how Yugyeom ended up attempting (and failing) to walk him home._

 

_“Maybe you should call someone to pick you up.” Yugyeom suggested after the third, maybe fourth time they had nearly fallen over (both of them, he was pretty drunk too.) Jungkook nodded vaguely, reaching for his phone and unlocking it clumsily. They stopped walking and Yugyeom waited as he struggled with it._

 

_“I can’t do it.” He gave up after a moment, still swaying drunkenly and frowning at the offending phone. He turned and tried to give it to Yugyeom, nearly dropping it in the process. “Help.”_

 

_Yugyeom managed to take the phone with difficulty. “Who do you want me to call?”_

 

_“Jimin.” Jungkook said, immediately._

 

_“Jimin-hyung?” Yugyeom echoed. Jungkook nodded. “Doesn’t he… not drive?” He said lamely._

 

_Jungkook just blinked at him._

 

_“I- okay, I’ll call him.”_

 

_It only took a minute to explain the situation, Jimin soon interrupted him to tell him he understood and he would come in a long-suffering tone before hanging up._

 

_“Okay, he says- whoa!” Yugyeom had to make a grab at Jungkook’s arm as he lost his balance and fell forward abruptly. He just managed to catch him and they both stumbled. Before Yugyeom could speak again Jungkook leaned forward even more to say something in his ear._

 

_“I have to tell you something.” He muttered this right into his ear, clearly too drunk to gage the distance correctly. Yugyeom pushed him backwards but didn’t let go of him, not confident in his ability to stay standing._

 

_“Uh, okay, what?” Jungkook managed to steady himself with Yugyeom holding on to his shoulders._

 

_“I don’t like Chaeyeon.”_

 

_Yugyeom didn’t know what he’d expected, but certainly not that._

 

_“You don’t?” He said, confused. Jungkook fixed his gaze somewhere off in the distance behind him. “Why did you say you did, then?”_

 

_“I don’t know.” Jungkook’s face contorted, he looked almost miserable._

 

_Yugyeom was definitely confused at this point. They had talked about this before, Jungkook had said he was interested in her, more than that, that he’d date her even. He hadn’t only said this to him, they had all talked about it. Chaeyeon was the girl he brought up most often (other than IU, obviously). But that all wasn’t true? Why would he lie about something like that? Yugyeom was honestly too drunk and tired to question it properly, all of this becoming too much to process fairly quickly._

 

_“Yugyeom.” Jungkook spoke again, following a slightly awkward silence._

 

_“Yeah?”_

 

_They stared at each other for another moment._

 

_“I forgot.” Jungkook said, frowning confusedly. He really was totally out of it. Before Yugyeom could speak again, he reached up and poked his cheek lightly. “Your eyes are pretty.”_

 

_“I- what?”_

 

_That comment was so completely out of nowhere that Yugyeom had absolutely no idea how to respond._

 

_Fortunately, he didn’t have to think about it much because it was at that moment that Jungkook’s phone started ringing._

 

_“Here.” He realised belatedly he was still holding the phone and shoved it in Jungkook’s direction, stepping back from him in the process. Jungkook  stumbled momentarily on the spot, dropping his hand from Yugyeom’s face before lifting the phone to answer it. After he was done talking to whoever was on the other end (they didn’t sound that happy with him), he hung up and stared at his blank phone screen for a moment before looking up again._

 

_“I’ve got to go.” He gestured. “That way.”_

 

_“Okay.” Yugyeom said, too quickly. “Okay. That’s cool.”_

 

_They were silent._

 

_“I’ll see you.” Jungkook said._

 

_“Right. At the stage.”_

 

_“Right.” Jungkook stared at him again with an expression that he couldn’t read, in the darkness of the street his face was partially obscured by shadows. Yugyeom was definitely feeling the alcohol by this point, his brain was utterly refusing to make sense of the situation._

 

They had parted ways after that, and Yugyeom couldn’t remember if they had said anything else at the time. He did remember that neither of them had mentioned that incident to this day. Honestly, Yugyeom has forgotten about it, put it down to them both being intoxicated.  
  
He didn’t know why he was even thinking about it now, it probably didn’t have anything to do with what happened. Right? It couldn’t do. It had to have been some kind of misunderstanding. Because there was no way Jungkook was-

 

“Kim Yugyeom.”

 

He swore several times internally at the sound of his name as he was brought back to reality, realising he had zoned out in the middle of practising the new choreography again, and consequently managed to miss the beat yet again. Damn it.

 

“Sorry.” He said breathlessly, trying to catch up, but the music ground to a halt. The teacher stepped in front of the group, his expression stony.

 

“You missed it again.”

 

“I know, I’m-”

 

The teacher sighed heavily, interrupting his attempted apologies.

 

“Yugyeom-ah, what’s your position in this group?”

 

“Main dancer.” He answered after some hesitation.

 

“How did you get that position?” The teacher stared him down. Yugyeom stayed silent, not sure if he was supposed to answer, or how to answer that. It was an obvious jab.

 

“Seongsangnim, with all due respect-” Jaebum started to say, but was waved off dismissively.

 

After several more rounds in which Yugyeom managed to execute the dance perfectly, they finished and everyone else got ready to leave. Jaebum managed to be perfectly respectful the whole time, thanking everyone formally and politely, until they were eventually left alone.

 

“Asshole.” He muttered under his breath, glaring at the recently closed door. Youngjae let out a small, slightly shocked laugh from where he was lying worn out on the floor.

 

“Come on.” Jinyoung pulled Jaebum away from the door. “He’s just a little strict.”

 

Jaebum shook his head. “He messed up, what, twice? What’s the big deal?”

 

“I missed the same beat four times, hyung.” Yugyeom said quietly.

 

“Still.” Jaebum said. He glanced in Yugyeom’s direction as he turned to the mirror again to go over the same moves he had continually messed up. After letting a few moments pass, he sighed. “Hey, stop now. Don’t overdo it.” He stepped up to Yugyeom’s side and put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. He stopped dancing, reluctantly, but didn’t sit down, staying standing up and looking into the mirror.

 

Bambam dragged himself up from his position on the floor to grab his arm. “Come on, man.” Yugyeom let himself be pulled down into a sitting position on the floor.

 

“You good?” Bambam asked, looking slightly concerned.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Jaebum just watched them both for a moment, looking lost in thought. Jinyoung went to sit on their other side, groaning with the pain of moving his joints after all that dance. “Mark-hyung.” He called out, wincing slightly. “When’s Jackson getting back again?” Mark looked up from his phone, now one of the only ones still standing.

 

“Pretty soon, I think.” He glanced in Jaebum’s direction. “Weren’t you-”

 

“Ah, shit.” Jaebum turned quickly, snapping out of his slight daze. “I said I’d pick him up from the airport in-” He paused to check his phone, “-twenty minutes. Got to go.” He crossed the room hurriedly to start gathering all of his things up in a hurry. It seemed that what with the situation with their teacher, he had completely forgotten what else he had to do.

 

“Twenty minutes?” Jinyoung said.

 

“Yeah.” Jaebum said, shoving things into his bag as quickly as he could. “Damn, can’t believe I lost track of time like that-”

 

“You want a hand?” Mark asked, pocketing his phone and leaning to help Jaebum grab his stuff.

 

“Thanks.” Jaebum said, straightening up.

 

“No problem.” Mark handed his bag to him. “I’ll come with you.” He offered.

 

“Really? You don’t have to.”

  
  
“It’s cool.” Mark shrugged. “I need to talk to Jackson.”

  
  
“Okay.” Jaebum said after some short hesitation. “We might be a while.”  He glanced around at all of them. “Go ahead and eat without us.”

 

“We would have done anyway, hyung.” Youngjae said brightly, still lying down. Jaebum ignored him as he turned to the door.

  
  
“Look after the kids!” Mark called to Jinyoung, who rolled his eyes. The two headed out and the room was silent again.

 

It had been a short while since the incident now, and the lingering awkwardness was only just beginning to die out. Things had been strained for a while between the members, particularly Yugyeom and Jaebum, and Jaebum and Jackson. But they had got better, gradually. Living together for so long meant that this was hardly the first time they’d had an argument over something serious, and they were good at dealing with it. Jackson and Jaebum had talked it out and made up fairly quickly, and everything was now relatively back to normal. Sort of.

 

Yugyeom was trying to play along and act like everything was fine, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. He wished he could make himself believe it had just been some kind of misunderstanding, or joke, or _anything_ , but then he remembered the way Jungkook had looked at him, and he knew it was more than that. And it bothered him, because he didn’t know what it meant. He just knew that it crossed some kind of line within the boundaries of their friendship, and made things undeniably _weird._ And he couldn’t see how they could return to normal after that.

 

Bambam was supposed to be going to Thailand the next day, which meant that he had begun the lengthy process of packing as soon as they got back to the dorms. Packing for him meant taking every piece of clothing he owned out and spreading them across the room and then spending god knows how long picking what to take. Bambam wasn’t actually in the room anymore, he’d been outside on the phone to Lisa for the past half hour (apparently she had called to give him an extensive list of all of the Thai snacks she wanted him to bring back, either there were a hell of a lot of them or they’d both got sidetracked), leaving the room he shared with Yugyeom basically uninhabitable.

 

All of this was why when Jackson entered the room, he was forced to stop in his tracks.

 

“Hey- uh- wow.”

 

Yugyeom looked up from where he was attempting to clear some space on his bed without messing up Bambam’s careful system.

 

“Oh, hey. Bambam is, uh… packing.” He gestured around the room. “Did you guys just get back?”

 

“Yeah.” Jackson surveyed the room briefly before crossing it and grabbing some of the clothes off the bed, tossing them to one side. Yugyeom stopped and glanced at him, amused.

 

“He’ll be mad.”

 

Jackson shrugged. “He’ll live.” He sat down.

 

“How was China?” Yugyeom asked, giving up his attempts and joining him.

 

“Weather’s better.” Jackson replied simply. He looked tired. “I wanted to talk to you.” He added, before Yugyeom could say anything else.

 

“About what?” He asked hesitantly, wondering if something was going on.

 

“About everything. How is everything?” Jackson waved a hand vaguely. “How are you?”

 

“I’m… fine?” Yugyeom frowned. “What, do you think there’s something-” Something crossed his mind and he sighed. “Did Jinyoung say something?”

 

“Jaebum did, actually.” Jackson said mildly, watching him. “He said he was worried about you.”

 

Yugyeom rubbed a hand across his face tiredly. “What’s he worried about?”

 

“He said you seemed distracted, lately.”

 

“I’m fine.” Yugyeom repeated, removing his hand from his face.

 

Jackson regarded him in silence for a moment, clearly not buying this.

 

“Have you talked to him?” He said eventually.

 

“Have I talked to who?” Yugyeom said, confused.

 

“Jungkook.”

 

Yugyeom looked at him in surprise.

 

“I- no. Jaebum-hyung said- remember?”

 

Jackson sighed. “Yeah, I know what he said. But I think you guys kind of need to talk. If you haven’t since what happened-”

 

“What does Jungkook have to do with anything?” Yugyeom said abruptly. “Why does it have to be about him? It’s not about him. I haven’t even thought about it that much. Why would I be distracted because of him? I’m not distracted.”  

 

Jackson stared at him, seeming slightly taken aback by his sudden outburst. Yugyeom looked away, running a hand through his hair.

 

“It’s fine.”

 

“Yugyeom…”

 

“I don’t know how to talk to him, hyung.” Yugyeom said helplessly. He stared at the floor, looking for something to focus on in the mess of Bambam’s things. “I don’t even know what he thinks of me anymore.”

 

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Jackson turned around more to face him properly.

 

Yugyeom glanced at him. “Do you think he’s…” He trailed off, the words catching in his throat.

 

“Gay?” Jackson said. “Probably. Into you? Maybe.”

 

“Oh.” Yugyeom rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, looking away again.  

 

“But I wouldn’t know.” Jackson continued. “You’re gonna have to ask him.”

 

They were both quiet as Yugyeom thought this through. Jackson just made it sound so simple, as if it wasn’t something that could drastically change their friendship. How was he supposed to ask him that, anyway? What did it mean if it was true?

 

“You’re overthinking.” Jackson seemed to read his mind. “Stop it.”

 

“I can’t just ask him.” Yugyeom said with an air of desperation.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because- cause it’s not that simple.”

 

“It can be that simple.” Jackson said. Yugyeom must have looked unconvinced, because after a moment he sighed and continued: “Seriously, just ask. He’s not gonna tell you of his own accord, trust me.You’re not gonna get anywhere if you don’t talk.”

 

They fell into silence again. Yugyeom knew that Jackson was talking sense, he knew that he had to be the one to talk if he wanted to make up. Not that they’d really fallen out, they just weren’t talking anymore. And it sucked, honestly. He just wanted things to go back to normal. He just wanted them to talk again.

 

“I- jeez, fine. I’ll talk to him.” Yugyeom said eventually. Jackson clapped his hands and stood up abruptly, making him start slightly.

  
  
“Great! Let’s go.”

  
  
“Huh?” Yugyeom blanked, staring at him.

 

“You can go talk to him now, they’re not doing anything. I was going to see Namjoon anyway, this is the perfect opportunity.” Jackson said, all at once, suddenly seeming full of energy. Yugyeom didn’t move even as he reached to tug at his arm, not registering what he was talking about at all.

 

“What?”

 

Jackson paused and rolled his eyes. “I’m going to see Namjoon now, cause he’s actually free for once, and you’re gonna come with me and make up with Jungkook so you stop moping. Okay?”

 

“Now? Right now?” Yugyeom half stood up, unresistant to the continued dragging.  

  
  
“Yep.” Jackson said nonchalantly. He turned to make for the door.

  
  
“Wait, hyung,” Yugyeom pulled his arm free and held up his hands. “I can’t, wait!” Jackson stopped again.

  
  
“Why not?”

  
  
“I can’t, right now, I’m not-” _ready_ , he was going to say, but stopped himself. Jackson surveyed him for a moment and took hold of his wrist, not forcefully this time, sighing.

  
  
“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. But you might not get another chance to talk properly for a while, not in person at least.”

  
  
Yugyeom stared down at a point on the floor. “I don’t want things to be different.” He muttered, finally.

  
  
“They don’t have to be.” Jackson said, voice now no louder than his had been. “But they will be if you don’t talk.”

  
  
Another pause.

  
  
“Fine.” Yugyeom said with a heavy sigh, looking up. “And I’m not moping.” He added, as Jackson broke into a smile, pulling him by the wrist again.

  
  
“Let’s go.”

 

*****

 

“Jungkook. Ya, Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook!” 

 

“What?” Jungkook pulled his earphones out and dragged his attention away from his computer to focus on an irritated Taehyung in the doorway.

 

“Dude, you are literally unreachable.”

 

Jungkook shrugged unapologetically. Taehyung rolled his eyes, stepping further into Jungkook’s room to look over his shoulder at the screen with mild interest.

 

“Yugyeom’s here.” He said, in a tone far too off-hand for the news he was delivering. Jungkook froze, hand on the computer mouse as he paused his game.

 

“Yugyeom?”

 

Taehyung frowned. “Uh, yeah. You didn’t know? I thought he would have told you he was coming.”

 

“No.” Jungkook said, still not moving. There was a brief pause in which Taehyung seemed to be waiting for him to say something else. He didn’t.

 

“Oh.” Taehyung said with an edge of awkwardness. “Well, um, he wants to see you, I think.” He moved back towards the door, hesitating as Jungkook continued to do nothing. “Are you okay?”

 

“What?”

 

“You seem… freaked out.” Taehyung said. Jungkook blinked at him and looked back at the blank computer screen.

 

“Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, I’m good.” He replied after another pause, stumbling over his words. Taehyung stared at him, looking confused and slightly concerned.

 

“Okay.” He said slowly, after a moment. “Are you coming then?”

 

“I will. Just have to, uh,” he gestured towards the computer vaguely. Taehyung looked unconvinced, but nodded anyway.

 

“Okay then.” He said again, turning away.

 

It was only after he was sure that Taehyung was gone that he found the ability to actually move again. Usually he would be cursing his inability to act like everything was normal, but right now he was far too preoccupied with panicking because he was not prepared for this. They hadn’t talked to each other in weeks. They were actively avoiding each other in a group chat, for god’s sake. Why did Yugyeom suddenly want to talk to him?

 

_He probably wants to tell you to stay away from him_

 

Jungkook got up abruptly without the intention of going anywhere, instead opting to pace his room just for something to do.

 

He couldn’t talk to Yugyeom right now. He had to figure out some way of getting out of it. Maybe if he just stayed around the others then they wouldn’t get an opportunity to talk? Yeah. Maybe that. Or maybe he would just tell everyone and Jungkook would be publicly accused and he’d probably have to leave the group-

 

Jungkook groaned and slapped a hand across his eyes. _That’s not going to happen, you idiot. Just fucking go._

 

It was with the momentary burst of courage that followed that thought that he was able to turn blindly towards the door and stride outside, not looking where he was going, not even really sure where he was going.

 

Which was probably partly why he almost immediately collided with someone in the corridor.

 

Both him and the person shouted out in surprise, and Jungkook, in his riled-up state, pulled back so violently he fell sideways into the wall and hit his arm painfully on the doorframe of Jimin and Hoseok’s room.

 

“Shit! Ah…” Jungkook regained his balance, clutching his arm. “Jesus, you scared me.” He said, looking up.

 

“Sorry.” Yugyeom said quietly.

 

Jungkook just stared at him, feeling like he’d been doused with cold water.

 

_Well, shit_

 

“Why are you here?” He said finally, after what was probably the most uncomfortable pause ever.

 

“To, uh, talk. To you. Taehyung-hyung said you were in your room.” Yugyeom said, not quite looking him in the eye. Jungkook already knew that, so he had no answer. “Can we talk?”

 

The situation felt oddly surreal, and it was taking a moment for it to register that this was actually happening and he wasn’t just imagining it. There was a beat of silence before he was able to answer what was quite a simple question.

 

“Yeah.” Jungkook said, not knowing what else to say. “It’s over here.” He turned around, feeling like he was on autopilot.

 

“What’s over there?”

 

“My room.”

 

“Right.”

 

Jungkook glanced back at Yugyeom, accidentally making eye contact for the first time. He looked how Jungkook felt, nervous and uncomfortable, although probably for slightly different reasons. “We can talk there.” He said, trying to swallow the guilt.

 

He couldn’t help but wonder if Yugyeom just didn’t like the idea of being alone with him.

 

“Right.” Yugyeom said again. He didn’t seem reluctant about following Jungkook, but the worry didn’t go away. Yugyeom had every right to be uncomfortable with him.

 

Once they were actually in his room, Jungkook was struck with the dilemma about what to do with the door. Would it be weird to leave it open? Or would it be weirder if he closed it? Maybe if he just half closed it-

 

“Jungkook.” Yugyeom’s voice startled him out of his thoughts. He panicked and just shut the door completely, immediately regretting it as he turned to see Yugyeom’s uncertain expression, looking out of place standing in the middle of his room.

 

“Yeah?” They stared at each other as Jungkook tried desperately to think of what to say. The obvious thing to do was apologise, but how? What should he even say? He cursed himself for not properly thinking this through before.

 

“Are you gay?”

 

Jungkook had even less idea of what to say now.

 

He didn’t have much time to think about it because Yugyeom seemed to regret his words fairly quickly.

 

“Never mind- I- forget I said that.” He said hurriedly. “I, uh- shouldn’t have said it like that, damn, I’m screwing this up, I-”

 

“Yeah.” Jungkook cut him off before he could think better of it. They stared at each other again in even more awkward silence.

 

“Yeah?” Yugyeom said. “You’re… really?”

 

“Yeah.” Jungkook said, hoping he wouldn’t make him actually say it. “I am.”

 

“Oh.” Yugyeom said finally. “That’s, oh.” He broke the eye contact first, looking down. Jungkook wished he would just say something, that one of them would say something, because anything would be better than this tension and not knowing how Yugyeom was going to react. His discomfort at the moment was so obvious and seeing it was making Jungkook feel worse by the second.

 

“I’m sorry.” He said abruptly. Yugyeom immediately looked up, surprised, and Jungkook had to look away this time so he was able to continue, speaking rapidly, saying whatever came to mind. “For doing that to you, it was wrong, I know, I don’t even think of you like that, I just-”

 

“You don’t?” Yugyeom interrupted him.

 

“I don’t what?”

 

“Think of me like that.” _Oh._

 

“No.” Jungkook said quickly. “I don’t, I swear I don’t.”

 

“Oh.” Yugyeom said. There was another awkward pause. “Then… why did you kiss me?”

 

Jungkook was surprised he said it so bluntly, they had both been seemingly avoiding saying it out loud.

 

“I… don’t know?” There was no way he could tell him the actual reason.

 

“You don’t know?” They only seemed capable of repeating what the other had said in the form of a question in this conversation. Which really wasn’t ideal right now because he did not want to answer the question.

 

“I was just confused, I guess.” He was well aware that this was not a satisfactory answer. Yugyeom was still looking at him with the same expression that he couldn’t quite read.

 

“Confused about what?”

 

Did he really not know? Couldn’t he work it out at this point? Why did he have to force Jungkook to say it?

 

“Everything.” He really didn’t want to say it.

 

“Every-” Yugyeom started to say.

 

“What do you think?” Jungkook interrupted him before he could repeat his words yet again, the frustration driving him. “I _don’t_ think of you like that, but you-” He almost faltered, but something made him carry on. “You just looked… good, okay?”

 

Yeah. That was a great way to phrase it.  

 

“Oh.” Yugyeom said. “Well. That’s cool.”

 

Jungkook could only look at him disbelievingly. “That’s- how is that cool?” He didn’t mean to sound accusatory, but that was how it came out.

 

“I mean, it’s fine.” Yugyeom said uncertainly. “Or, it isn’t?” He amended himself, seeing Jungkook’s expression.

 

“How are you so okay with this?!” Jungkook said, starting to raise his voice unintentionally.

 

“I- what?” Yugyeom looked taken aback. “Why are you yelling at me?”

 

 _Because I’m panicking._ “I’m not yelling at you!” Jungkook ran a hand through his hair in agitation.

 

Yugyeom looked like he was about to retort, but seemingly stopped himself from reacting too strongly. “Look, I’m just trying not to make this awkward.” He said, in a vaguely placating tone.

 

Jungkook did not quite manage to reach this level of calmness.

 

“You’re trying not to make it awkward? This is awkward, dude, we practically made out!”

 

There was a painful silence in which they just looked at each other. Yugyeom seemed to have been rendered speechless momentarily. Jungkook was half expecting him to yell back, or even act disgusted or weirded out.

 

But instead, Yugyeom just stared blankly at him for a moment, before inexplicably starting to laugh. Genuinely. Not in a sarcastic way, or a forced way, but as if he actually found something funny. What exactly was so funny was a complete mystery to Jungkook, who was now starting to wonder if one or both of them had completely lost it.

 

“Why are you laughing?” He managed eventually, still totally confused.

 

“Cause,” Yugyeom started, recovering briefly, “You can’t call me dude, and then say, ‘we made out’.”

 

There was another short pause before Jungkook responded, almost defensively. “Well, I can, I just did.”

 

“Dude.” Yugyeom said. They stared at each other.  There was another beat of silence before they simultaneously broke down into laughter.

 

Jungkook had no idea what they were laughing about, maybe just the sheer weirdness of this conversation. He wasn’t really sure what they were even talking about anymore.

 

“This is crazy.” Yugyeom said after they’d both subsided slightly. He pushed his hair back from his forehead, shaking his head and focusing on a point in the distance. Jungkook watched him slightly apprehensively, trying to gauge his emotions. Yugyeom looked back suddenly to meet his gaze and Jungkook looked away quickly, hoping it hadn’t looked like he was staring.

 

“Sorry.” He said quickly.

 

There was a pause.

 

“I’m not mad at you.” Yugyeom said. “You don’t need to keep apologising.”

 

Another pause as Jungkook stared blankly at him, not really taking in what was happening.

 

“Okay.” What was he supposed to say now? Jungkook honestly didn’t know what else he could do but apologise. He’d not even thought about this version of events, all of his mental images of talking to Yugyeom again had ended very badly, he had barely even contemplated being actually forgiven. Now this was happening and he felt increasingly that he had no idea what he was doing.

 

“Jungkook?” He started as Yugyeom put a hand on his arm, his voice suddenly much closer. He hadn’t even noticed him cross the room. “Jeez, you’re so tense.”

 

“Sorry.” He said on impulse, and immediately cringed at himself. He really couldn’t think of anything else to say. Yugyeom withdrew his hand, looking contemplative.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked suddenly. Jungkook looked at him in surprise.

 

“Tell you…?”

 

“You know, this.” He gestured. “Everything. You just- you could’ve told me, you know?” He seemed almost offended, like this was a secret Jungkook had wilfully kept from him, or something. This was not something Jungkook had anticipated him being mad about.

 

“I couldn’t.” Was all he said, for some reason it was hard to get the words out. “I didn’t want to admit it. I tried to make it go away.”

 

Yugyeom bit his lip. “That didn’t work, huh.”

 

Jungkook snorted and turned his head to the side. “No.”

 

“You acted like you liked girls though,” Yugyeom said, frowning as if still trying to figure it all out. “We talked about it. You told me which ones you liked, and everything.”

 

“Yeah, well, I thought I did.” Jungkook said. Yugyeom still looked confused. Jungkook sighed. “What would you even have done, if I told you?”

 

“Nothing?” Yugyeom said it like it was obvious. “It wouldn’t have mattered.”

 

Jungkook didn’t say anything, but his expression must have told Yugyeom what he was thinking.

 

“Look, okay, fine. I was weirded out by it at first. But… it doesn’t matter, right? It doesn’t change anything.”

 

Jungkook must have continued to look unconvinced, and it was Yugyeom’s turn to sigh.

 

“You kissed me and told me you think I’m hot and I still want to be your friend, I don’t know why you’re still doubting me.” He said, folding his arms. Jungkook was rendered speechless for a moment, yet again. He honestly had no answer for that.

 

It was also just beginning to register that, Yugyeom actually, inexplicably, seemed to forgive him.

 

“I never said you were hot.” Jungkook managed finally.

 

“Yes you did.”

 

“No I didn’t.”

 

“You definitely did.”

 

Jungkook shot him a look, but was unable to stop himself from laughing incredulously. “You’re crazy.”

 

“I just know how take a compliment.” Yugyeom shrugged, looking awfully pleased with himself for some reason.  

 

“Well, I _didn’t_ say that, actually.” Jungkook said, suddenly feeling suddenly, momentarily more confident. “I said you looked hot. Just then. At that time.”

 

“And that’s different how?” Yugyeom asked, looking amused.

 

“It was just cause of, uh-” he floundered slightly. “Your outfit. And… stuff.” He finished lamely.

 

“Uh-huh.” Yugyeom said, not even attempting to look convinced. “Do you make out with everyone who wears a dress shirt in front of you?”

 

Jungkook shoved him in the shoulder so he almost overbalanced, suppressing a laugh. “Fuck off, that’s not what I meant.”

 

“Then what did you mean?” Yugyeom regained his balance, remaining unperturbed. Jungkook paused as he tried to remember what exactly had possessed him in that moment. Or rather, tried to think of a way to say it so that he wouldn’t embarrass himself. “Choker?” Yugyeom said lightly. Jungkook tried to cover up his reaction with a cough, but failed miserably and made it blatantly obvious that his guess was right.

 

“Thought so.” Yugyeom said, looking doubly proud of himself now.

 

“Shut up.” Jungkook said after a beat of silence, defeated, and very much hoping his face wasn’t turning red. His hopes were probably in vain, given how Yugyeom was laughing at him again.

 

Jungkook had probably never felt so simultaneously embarrassed and relieved before.

 

Because although this was embarrassing, he was so unbelievably relieved that they were talking normally, that Yugyeom was teasing him about it like it was something normal. Although this interaction was awkward as hell, it felt like they were themselves again.

 

Yugyeom seemed to share this view, and also seemed determined to question Jungkook about absolutely everything that he didn't already know.

 

“So, uh-”  Yugyeom started suddenly, making him jump. “Sorry.” He said quickly. “Um, can I ask you something?”

  
  
“Yeah.” Jungkook said, a beat too late. “Sure.”

 

They had finally ended up sitting down, well, Yugyeom decided of his own accord to sit in the chair in front of the computer, and Jungkook opted to sit on his bed opposite instead of continuing to stand. Yugyeom spun the chair from side to side idly as he regarded Jungkook curiously. He seemed to be hesitating.

 

“You’re gay, right?”

  
  
Jungkook stared at him for a moment, unsure of how to respond to that.

  
  
“Yes…” He said slowly.

  
  
“So, you like guys. And not girls.” Yugyeom said. “Just guys.”

  
  
“Uh, yeah.” Jungkook said, still trying to figure out where he was going with this. “Didn’t we just-”

  
  
“You don’t like girls at all?” Yugyeom interrupted him.  
  
“I’m sorry, do you not know what the word means?” Jungkook said, completely confused.

  
  
“You have a girlfriend.” Yugyeom sounded almost accusatory, and oh, it made sense now.

  
  
“Ah…” Jungkook said with dawning realisation. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

  
  
Yugyeom stared at him in confusion. “She’s- what?”

  
  
“We’re not really dating.” Jungkook explained. “We’re pretending. It’s fake.”

  
  
“It’s fake?” Yugyeom echoed, looking even more confused. “But- why?”

  
  
“Who’s gonna suspect me if I have a girlfriend?” Jungkook said simply, shrugging. Yugyeom blinked at him for a moment, registering this.

  
“Does she know?” He asked, still frowning.

  
  
“It was her idea.”

  
  
“What? Why would she do that?”

  
  
“Because it’s mutually beneficial.”

  
“It’s-” Yugyeom frowned, and Jungkook watched him, waiting for it to click. “Wait. She’s-” He looked up, wide-eyed. “She’s like-”

  
  
Jungkook nodded.

  
  
“Seriously?”

  
  
“Yeah.”

  
  
“She likes girls?”

  
  
“Yeah.”

  
  
Yugyeom sat back in his seat, blinking rapidly. “Holy shit.”

  
  
“Please don’t tell anyone that.” Jungkook added, feeling slightly bad about telling someone else about Yeri. Yugyeom shook his head fervently.

  
  
“I won’t. I kinda assumed I shouldn’t really mention any of this. To anyone. Ever.”

  
  
“Yeah.” Jungkook said. “Anyone.” There was a pause, and he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Um, not to your members, either.”

  
  
Yugyeom seemed to almost falter momentarily, but regained himself. “Right.” He said. “Right, yeah.”

 

He still wasn’t done with his questioning, Jungkook hadn’t realised how persistent the guy could be. (“You lied to me!” Yugyeom protested. “I have to know what you really think.”) Okay, so technically Jungkook had lied about the girls that he liked, but it hadn’t been an conscious lie so much as him trying to seem normal. At the time, as he kept saying, he had thought he liked them, anyway. It was kind of difficult to explain a lot of it, since most of the times he had lied he had done it subconsciously, lying to himself as well as everyone else. And it was still hard to get past those lies, to actually be honest with himself.

 

Talking about it was good, though. Surprisingly good. He thought it would be awkward, and it was, kind of, but it was also liberating, somehow.

 

After some time, they had ended up in deep conversation about Jungkook’s love for IU. Honestly, he should have seen this question coming.

 

“If I had to pick a girl, then yeah.” Jungkook said, suppressing a sigh. 

 

“Really?” Yugyeom said, sounding surprised. “What about Yeri?”

 

Jungkook snorted. “Yeri wouldn’t date me.”

 

“So you’d date IU-sunbaenim then. That’s predictable” Yugyeom nodded to himself, looking thoughtful. “She’s your exception, then.” He added, before Jungkook could protest to his previous comment.

 

“She’s my what?” Jungkook looked at him blankly. 

 

“Exception. The girl that you’d date." Yugyeom said matter-of-factly. "Like, every guy has that one guy they’d totally-”

 

It was at this point there came a sudden knock at the door, making them both jump.

 

“Yeah?” Jungkook called out, but the door had opened before he even finished saying the word.

 

“Yugyeom-ah, Jackson says you have to leave now, management keeps calling.” Namjoon said, looking between the two of them with an edge of curiosity.

 

“Oh, okay.” Yugyeom said, looking only briefly surprised. “Thanks, hyung.”

 

Jungkook looked at him, there was a pause before they both stood up, at the same time.

 

“I’ll see you.” Jungkook said, not knowing what to say with Namjoon there. Their conversation would likely go on forever if they were left to it, so it was probably good it was forced to end.

 

Yugyeom laughed. “Probably not.” He said. “It’ll be a miracle if we’re in the same country at the same time.

 

“Text me, then.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Neither of them spoke for a moment, just looking at each other in silence. Namjoon cleared his throat after several seconds passed like this.

 

“Are you communicating telepathically?”

 

“Yes.” They responded at the same time, and then broke down into laughter. Namjoon rolled his eyes.

 

“Go.” He clapped Yugyeom on the shoulder. “So your manager doesn’t kill you.”

 

Yugyeom and Jackson did not leave straight away, for some reason everything in the world seemed determined they would not get where they needed to be on time. They finally managed to leave after a further ten minutes, (after being prevented by the mysterious disappearance of Jackson’s phone which turned out to be, predictably, inside the couch.)

 

Jungkook went back to his room after the chaos had subsided, gathering his thoughts. He felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted, something he hadn’t even realised was there until it was gone. He thought maybe it was the guilt from having done what he’d done to one of his best friends being finally lifted slightly, but it felt like something more than that.

 

“Did you figure it out?” A voice from his doorway, made him jump.

 

“Huh?” Jungkook spun around in his chair to see Namjoon standing there.

 

“Did you figure it out?” He repeated. “The thing, with Yugyeom.”

 

Jungkook’s stomach dropped.

 

_How did he know? How much did he know?_

 

“What do you mean?” He asked in a carefully controlled voice. Namjoon shrugged.

 

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

 

Jungkook stared at him for a moment, trying to tell what he was thinking, how much he actually knew or if he was just guessing.

 

“We’re cool.” He said, after a moment’s more consideration.

 

Namjoon looked back at him, his expression unreadable. “Okay.” He said, after yet another pause. “Good.” And with a smile and a nod, he turned away.

 

Jungkook waited till he was long gone before relaxing. Namjoon couldn’t possibly know anything, right? How would he? He’d just guessed that something was up with Jungkook and Yugyeom. That was all. He rubbed his eyes and leaned backwards in the chair, staring at the ceiling vaguely.

 

 _“We’re cool.”_ The words floated across his brain again, and he smiled slightly.

 

That was something, at least. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back  
> back again
> 
> look who's not dead: the sequel
> 
> okay real talk sorry for the really long wait yet again there was me thinking i'd have free time, spoilers i did not. i did some exams, had some mental breakdowns, nearly died on the subway in berlin and then subsequently got stuck in berlin, etc. 
> 
> anyway we're back and i made it to double figures chapters now, yay, *nervous laughter* i'm so sorry about how much of this ch is jk and yg taking forever to get to the damn point lol. but hey, they made up now, finally! idk how this chapter will received tbh, i feel like i'm not really catering to what people want to read, but in my mind this chapter is pretty important in terms of moving the story along. soooo bear with me, i promise shit actually happens soon. on another note full disclaimer i have no idea how guys talk about girls (or how girls talk about guys) so i'm sorry if the flashback feels unrealistic in parts (i'm just a useless lesbian forgive me) 
> 
> anywayx2 if you're still here after waiting all that time, thank you so much, you are actually the best. and if you're just finding this, then hi! thanks for reading this far. pls be patient with me i write three words a day lmao.


	11. Normal

It was only just gone midnight when Yeri gave up on trying to sleep. Given that she’d been up since five in the morning, she should be exhausted by now, which she was, physically. But her brain utterly refused to shut down. 

 

It often became like this, when they were working a lot. The disruption of sleeping patterns coupled with stress usually made it quite difficult to sleep normally, meaning sleepless nights were not at all uncommon. Yeri knew that Joohyun hadn’t been sleeping well lately, although she didn’t mention it, instead shutting herself in her room and occupying herself with reading, as if her inability to sleep was somehow contagious. It wouldn’t make any difference. Seungwan seemed to be sleeping in a strangely inconsistent way, a solid eight hours one night and barely at all the next, Sooyoung was so busy with her drama she barely had chance to try. 

 

And Seulgi- Yeri was pretty sure Seulgi actually had insomnia. Or maybe she was a vampire. Because there were times when it seemed like she didn’t even sleep at all. 

 

This was why, when she went into the kitchen with the excuse of getting a glass of water, she wasn’t at all surprised to find Seulgi sitting at the table, hands wrapped around a mug of something and staring into space. She looked up as soon as Yeri entered, expression of surprise quickly shifting to a smile. 

 

“Yerim.” 

 

Yeri returned the smile, ignoring the slight pang in her stomach at the greeting. The use of her real name always had the effect of making her feel slightly homesick. It was so close to her stage name that they could be used interchangeably, but ‘Yerim’ always made her think of times away from the camera, away from that world. 

 

“You’re up late.” Yeri commented as she pulled out the chair opposite Seulgi to sit down. 

 

“I could say the same to you.” Seulgi said, raising her eyebrows. 

 

Yeri shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.” Seulgi nodded in understanding, looking down into her drink. Yeri was sure this revelation wasn’t at all surprising to her. 

 

“Hot chocolate?” Seulgi pushed the mug across the table towards her. “I only just made it.” 

 

Yeri accepted it and took a sip, found that it wasn’t too hot and immediately took another. Maybe it was because she hadn’t eaten in hours, but this hot chocolate was probably the best thing she had tasted ever. She allowed herself another couple of drinks before pushing it back to Seulgi, who was regarding her with amusement. 

 

“Thanks.” Yeri said. 

 

“No, thank you.” Seulgi responded. At Yeri’s confused look she continued, “I’m glad I had someone to share it with, we really shouldn’t be drinking this right now.” She shook her head, lifting the mug. 

 

“Because it’s chocolate, or because it’s midnight?” Yeri asked. 

 

“Both.” Seulgi laughed quietly. “The company says we shouldn’t have too many sweet things.”

 

“They’re gonna put me on a diet again.” Yeri tapped a rhythm on the table glumly. “I can feel it.” 

 

Seulgi flashed her a sympathetic smile, not trying to deny it. They were both quiet for a moment, listening to the whirring sounds the kitchen appliances made and the distant sounds of the city outside. Yeri looked down at the table. It was so shiny she could almost see her reflection in it, Joohyun had clearly polished it to death some time recently. Whenever the leader had a lot on her mind, the dorm tended to mysteriously become a lot cleaner and tidier. 

 

“Unnie.” Yeri said, her voice loud in the silence. Seulgi looked up. “Is Seungwan-unnie still dieting?” She said it lightly, but the weight of the question seemed to hang in the air between them. 

 

“Yes.” Seulgi replied after a pause. “I think so, yes.” 

 

Yeri resumed her tapping on the table, faster this time. She could feel Seulgi’s eyes on her, but she kept her gaze trained downwards. 

 

“She doesn’t have to.” Yeri spoke up suddenly. “She shouldn’t- she’s already lost so much-” She stopped. It was suddenly difficult to get the words out. 

 

“No.” Seulgi agreed. “She shouldn’t.” 

 

Yeri stopped tapping and dropped her hands into her lap, wringing them together, still not looking up. She felt suddenly, inexplicably overwhelmed by it all. Not just Seungwan, but everything, it all seemed like it was falling apart and she didn’t know what she could do about it. 

 

“Yerim.” Seulgi said again, softly. Yeri realised with a start that there were tears in her eyes. She put her hands back on the table quickly, gripping the edge of it as if it would somehow provide support. Seulgi reached across the table to take her hand. Yeri looked up at her, blinking back the tears, trying not to let them show. Seulgi looked almost pained, like she was struggling with something. She bit her lip, scanning Yeri’s face, seeming to brace herself to say something. 

 

“Yeri, I-” 

 

“I wanna go to Taeyeon-unnie’s.” Yeri said abruptly. 

 

Seulgi stared at her, momentarily surprised at being cut off. “Huh?”

 

“Taeyeon-unnie’s.” Yeri repeated. “I- please?”

 

Seulgi carried on staring at her for a moment, and then sighed. The hours of missed sleep suddenly seemed to show, her face the image of exhaustion. “It’s nearly one,” she started. Yeri knew where she was going already. Taeyeon was probably tired out, she didn’t want to disturb her. 

 

“I know.” She said. “I know, but I just-” She stopped, not knowing how to explain herself. 

 

Seulgi seemed to understand. There was a brief silence before she sighed again, heavily. 

 

“Message her then. To see if she’s up.” Yeri looked at her in surprise. They both knew that Taeyeon would accept in a heartbeat, no matter how tired out she was. 

 

“I shouldn’t, you’re right-” She started, suddenly feeling guilty.

 

“Just message her.” Seulgi said, with a slight smile. “She won’t mind.”

 

The reassurance was enough.

 

As expected, Taeyeon said yes immediately, no questions asked. 

 

Since they didn’t have a car and didn’t particularly want to call a manager, Yeri wasn’t sure how she was going to get there. It was too far to walk, and it probably wasn’t a good idea at this hour anyway. However, Seulgi managed to find a solution to this pretty quickly. Yeri was grabbing extra clothes from her room when Seulgi called out to her quietly. 

 

“Ready?” She was wearing an oversized sweater that probably wasn’t hers, and holding her phone so the light shone on her face. Yeri straightened up and slung her bag over her shoulder. 

 

“How am I gonna get there?”

 

Seulgi smiled. “Someone agreed to help out.” 

  
  


SM was a strict company, stricter than most, which meant it was often more difficult for their idols to get away with small scale rule-breaking, such as simply going out. However, another thing about SM was that its idols tended to be particularly close. They were close at most companies, although some kept it under wraps, but none had quite the same protectiveness SM idols had for each other. Because of this, the way they got away with things was usually with each other’s help. The seniors tended to be able to get away with more, so they had no problem helping the younger ones out. 

 

And this was how Yeri and Seulgi got a lift to Taeyeon’s house. 

 

“Thank you for this, oppa.” Seulgi said for the third time. Minho laughed. 

 

“It’s okay, really. It’s my pleasure. I was bored out of my mind, I needed something to do.” 

 

Seulgi leaned backwards in her seat, relaxing a little in the unfamiliar car. Minho had agreed to help them out just as quickly as Taeyeon had, the SHINee members were always a safe bet to go to if you needed help breaking the rules, they seemed to rather enjoy it. Minho glanced across at Seulgi and Yeri in turn in the rear view mirror. 

 

“Comeback prep?” He asked, unprompted. They both nodded. 

 

“And a collab.” Yeri said. Minho nodded with recognition in his face. 

 

“With BTS, right? Ah, you guys are working hard.” 

 

The car drew to a halt in front of some traffic lights. Minho tapped on the steering wheel tunelessly as he waited. 

 

“Stay healthy, okay?” He said, after a pause. He looked at Yeri again. “Especially you, maknae.” 

 

Yeri smiled faintly. “Oppa, the light’s green.”

 

Minho’s eyes snapped back to the road and the car jolted forwards, probably just in time before the driver behind began to protest. Yeri and Seulgi exchanged a look, trying not to laugh. 

 

“Stop it, you two.” Minho huffed, his eyes flickering over them briefly before looking away, obviously stifling a smile. “I’ll get you there alive, don’t worry.”

  
  


It was mercifully quiet outside Taeyeon’s apartment building. She was waiting for them outside when they arrived, approaching the car immediately to greet them. 

 

“Aren’t you cold?” She demanded when she’d finished hugging Yeri. “It’s cold tonight, you should wear a jacket.” 

 

“I’m okay-” Yeri started. 

 

“Come here.” Taeyeon pulled her closer to her side, wrapping her own jacket around her. 

 

“It’s cause it’s clear.” Minho supplied helpfully. “That’s why it’s cold.” He clarified, as they all looked at him in confusion. 

 

Seulgi glanced up towards the sky, she could certainly see the scattering of stars that were visible from Seoul clearly tonight. “It’s nice out.” She said, wrapping her arms around herself. The four of them stood in silence for a moment, looking up, before Taeyeon snapped out of it. 

 

“Nice, but it’s cold. We need to get inside. You sure you don’t want to stay?” She pressed her hand to Seulgi’s arm. Seulgi shook her head. “Okay, go quickly then.” She looked around furtively. “Don’t let anyone see you together!”

 

“Yes, noona.” Minho said formally, humouring her. Taeyeon took a playful swipe at his arm which he dodged. 

 

“Go, now, hurry!” 

 

Seulgi threw a brief smile in Yeri’s direction before she got in the car, there still seemed to be an edge of worry in her expression. Yeri returned the smile, hoping to reassure her. She didn’t get to see Seulgi’s reaction properly. Once they were out of sight, Taeyeon turned, still holding onto Yeri, to lead them into her apartment. 

 

No matter how many times she redecorated, it still felt the same to Yeri. It had a homeliness to it which never failed to make her feel a little bit better. 

 

“Do you want to sleep?” Taeyeon asked, as they entered her living room. She grabbed the TV remote off the couch to mute the late night program playing on the screen. Yeri fell down onto the couch and pulled one of the cushions into her lap. 

 

“I’m okay.” She said. Taeyeon raised an eyebrow, and Yeri thought she was going to tell her that she should sleep, she had a schedule tomorrow and it wasn’t good to stay up late. 

 

“You wanna watch my drama with me?” 

 

Yeri looked at her in surprise. Taeyeon dropped onto the couch beside her. “I’m only on episode two.” She said, pressing buttons so that the program on screen disappeared entirely. “I can catch you up.”

 

“Okay.” 

 

She was touched that Taeyeon picked up on the fact that she didn’t really want to talk right now, although it wasn’t really surprising, she was particularly good at picking up those kinds of signals. 

 

They managed to watch just half of an episode before Taeyeon started to fall asleep, her head dropping onto Yeri’s shoulder. Yeri managed to pause the drama and switch the TV off, but Taeyeon’s head slipped off her shoulder while she was trying to reach for a blanket, and she jerked awake. 

 

“What time is it?” She muttered, rubbing her eyes. 

 

“Not too late. Go back to sleep, unnie.” Yeri said, retrieving the blanket. 

 

Taeyeon blinked at her, frowning. “You should be sleeping too.” She reached for the blanket and pulled it around both of them, sighing. “You have a schedule tomorrow.” She continued, her voice slightly muffled. Yeri hummed noncommittally. 

 

They stayed silent for several minutes, and Yeri thought Taeyeon must have fallen asleep again, so she was taken aback when she spoke suddenly. 

 

“Yerimie?”

 

“Yeah?” Yeri said, turning her head slightly. Taeyeon looked her in the eye for a moment, and then sighed. 

 

“I know you don’t want to talk-” Yeri opened her mouth to protest but Taeyeon continued over her “-I know you don’t want to to talk to me- don’t deny it, I know you.” She said, as Yeri shook her head in denial. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. But I just-” She paused, as if gathering her thoughts. “I think you should talk to someone.” 

 

Yeri looked away, biting her lip and saying nothing. 

 

“You don’t have to deal with everything on your own.” Taeyeon said softly. “It’s not good for you.” 

 

Was it really that obvious that there was stuff going on at the moment? She supposed she hadn’t been that great at hiding it lately, but still. Who was she supposed to talk to?

 

“Okay.” Yeri said, eventually. She let Taeyeon pull her in closer. 

 

“Promise?” Taeyeon said, her tone lighter.

 

“Promise.” 

 

Taeyeon fell asleep long before Yeri did.  

  
  


*****

 

Jungkook couldn’t remember if there were rules about whether or not he and Yeri were allowed to visit each other’s dorms, but it seemed unlikely they would get in much trouble about it. After all, they were supposed to be dating. They had originally intended to go out today, but neither of them had really felt like it, so they had ended up just staying at Jungkook’s dorm. Unsurprisingly, Yeri had made herself at home in his room fairly quickly, and was now lying on his bed as if she had been there a thousand times. 

 

She also seemed to be in a slightly strange mood, to say the least, ever since she’d got there. 

 

“Oh, they get married at the end.” Yeri said in a disinterested tone. She tapped the screen of her phone unnecessarily hard, and started scrolling far too fast to actually read anything. Jungkook looked down at her. 

 

“Uh, what?” 

 

“A drama I was watching with Taeyeon-unnie.” Yeri said detachedly, without looking up. “See?” She scrolled up a little, and then sat up enough to show him the screen of her phone. A vaguely familiar looking woman wearing a long white dress stood next to an equally familiar man, gazing up at him adoringly. It was far too polished looking to be anything other than a scene from a drama. Jungkook looked at the photo, and then at Yeri as she fell back onto his bed. 

 

“Okay?” He said, trying to prompt her to explain herself, still completely confused as to why she was bringing this up and why she seemed so down about it. 

 

“Do you ever think about marriage?” Yeri said after a while of him waiting for her to answer his implied question. 

 

“Not… frequently.” He said slowly. “Um, are you okay?” 

 

Yeri stared at the photo for a moment, and then shrugged, turning off her phone and dropping it so it bounced on the mattress. 

 

“Just…” She pulled herself up and shifted so she was sitting next to him. “I never really thought about getting married, until I realised that I couldn’t.” 

 

She stared across his room at a blank spot on the wall, fiddling the hem of her probably very expensive shirt, pulling at the embroidery until it started to fray. 

 

“Oh.” Jungkook said slowly, starting to understand what she meant. “But, I mean, you can still, if you want to…” He trailed off as she looked at him as if he was crazy. 

 

“If I marry a man then we wouldn’t love each other.” She said bluntly. “Or he would love me and I wouldn’t love him. What’s the point of that?” 

 

Jungkook stared at her, momentarily lost for words. When he didn’t speak, she continued. 

 

“Are you gonna get married, then?” She looked at him expectantly. 

 

“Well, ah,” He stumbled over his words slightly as her tone was almost accusatory. “I guess? When you say it like that you make me sound really bad,” He rushed to continue, before she could say anything else. “But, I don’t know, I never saw my life any other way.” 

 

“What way do you see it?” Yeri asked, looking down again. 

 

“When I come back from the military…” Jungkook started slowly. “I guess I always thought I’d find someone then.” He finished, frowning. 

 

“And get married?” Yeri asked again. 

 

“I-I don’t know.” At her questioning look, he continued hurriedly, “I really don’t know. I haven’t thought about it since…” He trailed off awkwardly, not knowing what to say. “Yeah.” 

 

“Yeah.” Yeri echoed. “I don’t know either.” She stared into space again. They were both quiet for a while. Jungkook didn’t know where this was all coming from, but Yeri seemed to be genuinely bothered by it. It seemed to be a strange thing to  be upset about all of a sudden. 

 

“Why are you bringing this up?” He asked tentatively, after several moments of silence passed. Yeri shrugged. 

 

“I was just thinking about it.” She traced non-existent patterns on his bed with her fingertip. Jungkook didn’t know what to say. 

 

“Taeyeon-unnie said I should talk to someone.” Yeri said abruptly. “But I didn’t really want to. I don’t want to just… complain. It’s not-” She paused, as if struggling to find words. 

 

“I don’t mind.” Jungkook said quickly. “You can talk.” 

 

She was quiet for a moment, and he wondered if this had been the wrong thing to say. 

 

“Or… you don’t have to.” He added awkwardly. She glanced up at him at this, biting her lip and frowning. 

  
“My members already have enough to handle. Sooyoung-unnie has her drama, the others always have schedules. And Seungwan-unnie-” She stopped. Jungkook waited for a moment. Yeri took a breath as if to steady herself. “I usually talk to them, when I have problems. But, I can’t.” She laid her hand on the cover of his bed and stared at it as if it was fascinating, rather than looking at him. 

 

“When I don’t talk to them, I talk to Nayeon-unnie. But… she won’t talk to me right now.” She stopped again, swallowing. “She has a lot to handle right now, too. I know that. I can’t be mad at her.” She was starting to talk quickly now, words suddenly spilling out when before they had seemed to be stuck. “I’m not mad at her. I just- she won’t _talk_ to me.” Yeri looked up finally. “Why won’t she talk to me?” Her voice broke, seeming to fall apart and suddenly there were tears in her eyes. She blinked, and seemed as surprised as Jungkook felt when they rolled down her face. 

 

He felt stricken, having absolutely no idea what to do, knowing he should probably say something, try and comfort her. He reached over and patted her shoulder awkwardly, hoping it would bring some semblance of comfort. Yeri just seemed to cry harder. At a loss, Jungkook gave up trying to think of something to say and just put his arm around her. He wasn’t really sure how she’d react to this, it wasn’t like they’d been particularly touchy with each other before, he worried briefly she’d think it was weird, it would just make things worse. 

 

Yeri didn’t pull away, in fact, she did the opposite, completely breaking down and just crying into his shoulder. 

 

It was at this point where Jungkook thought,  _ fuck it _ , and put his other arm around her to hug her properly, forgetting about whatever awkwardness had held him back. She didn’t cry for long. Her tears seemed to subside after a short while, but she stayed in the same position for a little longer before pulling back, wiping her eyes with her expensive shirt sleeves. 

 

“I’m sorry.” She said, sniffing. “I’m stupid.” 

 

“You’re not stupid.” Jungkook said automatically. Yeri glanced back at him, rubbing the back of her hand across her face. 

 

“I got mascara on your shirt.” 

 

Jungkook blinked at her. “It’s okay.” He said blandly. “I have a lot of shirts.” 

 

Yeri laughed weakly, looking down again. After a moment’s silence she tentatively dropped her head back on his shoulder, sighing. 

 

“I visited my mom not long ago.” She said suddenly, taking him by surprise with her sudden change of topic. “She lives in Seoul, but I don’t get to see her often. It’d been… a long time, since I’d talked to her properly. I wanted to tell her everything.” Yeri paused, and Jungkook didn’t say anything, feeling that he wasn’t supposed to. “I pretended I was talking about my friend, to ask her advice.” Yeri continued, her voice quieter. “I told her my friend liked girls. And she told me that my friend was having a phase, and that I probably shouldn’t get too close to her.” She spoke so matter-of-factly, like what she was saying was no more important than the drama she had talked about earlier. Jungkook was, yet again, lost for words. 

 

“Oh.” 

 

Yeri didn’t seem to mind his limited reaction, continuing, “And I know that it’s not true, but I believe it anyway.” 

 

“You believe what?” Jungkook asked hesitantly. 

 

“I don’t know, that I just need to try harder, or something. That if I tried hard enough, I’d be, you know…” She paused. “Normal.” 

 

There was another pause before she sat up properly, shifting away from Jungkook and covering her face. “Ah, I have to stop doing this.” She said, her voice slightly muffled. She sounded on the verge of tears again. “Feeling sorry for myself all the time.” She removed her hands and looked at him helplessly. “I know I just keep saying stuff, it probably doesn’t make much sense.” She paused again. 

 

Jungkook looked back at her, considering for a moment. “Yeah…” He said, slowly. Yeri looked away, drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging them. 

 

Her words were kind of jumbled up and confused, and it was slightly difficult to tell what exactly she was upset about, exactly. But at the same time, it did make sense. It wasn’t just the one thing causing her to break down, it was everything, at once. Jungkook did know what it was like to have so many things on your mind and not even be able to talk about them. He just wasn’t sure what to tell her to make it better. 

 

“You… told me I was too hard on myself.” Jungkook said suddenly, after some deliberation. Yeri looked up, surprise etched across her face. Jungkook scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I listened to that, you know.” 

 

Yeri stared at him in surprise for a moment, and laughed quietly. “Are you saying I should take my own advice?” 

 

“Well, yeah, kinda.” Jungkook said, and she laughed with a little more life this time. They were both quiet again. 

 

“I’m sorry about your mom.” Jungkook said after a moment, sincerely. Yeri snorted with laughter. 

 

“You make it sound like she’s died.” 

 

“I’m being serious!” He said, slightly reproachfully. 

 

“Sorry.” Yeri said, smiling, and not sounding sorry. “It’s okay, it’s not-” She stopped, and shrugged, staring into space again. “It’s okay.”  There was a pause. After a moment, Yeri shifted back over to him so they were sitting next to each other again.

 

“Aish,” She exclaimed suddenly, making him jump. “It’s really bad.” She tugged at the sleeve of his shirt where it was stained, frowning. “Has it run a lot?” She let go of him to rub her eyes. Her eye makeup had been smudged quite badly, Jungkook noticed, now she pointed it out, giving her dark circles around her eyes. 

 

“It’s not  _ that  _ bad.” Jungkook attempted to sound slightly convincing. Yeri raised an eyebrow. 

 

“Do you have any makeup remover?”

 

“In the drawer over there.” Jungkook said, immediately defeated. She slipped off the bed and crossed the room to where he was pointing to rifle through the drawer. It didn’t take her long to find what she was looking for, but on the way to turning to the mirror to fix her problem, she got distracted by his closet. 

 

“Wow.” Yeri said, after a moment spent looking through it. “You weren’t kidding when you said you had a lot of shirts.” She turned, looking slightly incredulous. Jungkook shrugged. “You have like twenty shirts in here and they’re all exactly the same.” 

 

“They’re not exactly the same.” Jungkook protested. 

 

Yeri scoffed. “They are too.” She shuffled the hangers along, and unhooked one of them after some consideration. She turned back to Jungkook. “Take your shirt off.”

 

“…What?” 

 

“Aren’t you gonna change?” Yeri said, as if it were obvious. 

 

“Um, yeah.” 

 

They stared at each other. 

 

“Right now?” Jungkook ventured. Yeri rolled her eyes. 

 

“I won’t look.” She turned away pointedly, and he stripped his shirt off slowly before realising he didn’t have anything else to wear. 

 

“I, uh-” Yeri turned around again immediately and he made a sound of protest, bringing his arms up to protect himself. “Hey! You said-” She threw the shirt at his head before he could finish. 

 

She seemed to find this whole thing hilariously funny, still laughing too hard to fix her makeup properly even as she turned away from him to the mirror. Jungkook watched her with slight amusement, despite everything. He hadn’t missed the way she had clearly tried to move the conversation on from what they’d been talking about before, he didn’t know if this was because she really didn’t want to talk about it, or she just didn’t want to cry in front of him anymore. He wondered briefly if he should encourage her to talk more, but quickly decided against it. 

 

He could tell that she wasn’t looking for a solution to her problems (as that was just as well, as it was impossible for him to provide), she just needed an outlet. She had talked about it a little, that was enough. 

 

“Did you hear that everyone thinks Seulgi-unnie and Jimin-oppa are dating again?” Yeri said suddenly, now re-applying mascara. Jungkook looked at her in surprise. 

 

“No. I haven’t.” He wondered since when she had started calling Jimin “oppa”. Yeri eyed him through the mirror. 

 

“Should I tell her to back off?” She said casually. Jungkook stared, taken aback. 

 

“What? No. You can’t do that.” 

 

“Why not?” Yeri spun around, pocketing her makeup stuff and regarding him with amusement. “I think she might actually like him, you know.” 

 

“Well, he might like her.” Jungkook shrugged. “If they want to date, then…” 

 

Yeri raised her eyebrows. “Wouldn’t that bother you?”

 

“No.” Jungkook said. 

 

Yeri looked extremely unconvinced. 

 

“Well, yeah, maybe.” He admitted, sighing. “But I wouldn’t want… I’d just want him to be happy.”

 

There was a pause as he stared at the ground, trying not to think too much about Jimin dating Seulgi. When Yeri didn’t respond for another moment, he looked up in confusion to find her watching him with a rather knowing smile. 

 

“What?” 

 

“You’ve got it  _ bad,  _ haven’t you?” 

 

Jungkook realised what she meant and felt his face colour. 

 

“Shut up.” 

 

Yeri giggled at him. “I’m just saying.” 

 

“Yeah, well-” He paused, rubbing his cheeks as if that would erase the blush and trying to think of something clever to say. “…Whatever.” 

 

He was not successful. 

 

It would be really great if Jimin could find happiness somewhere other than dating Kang Seulgi. But if he wanted to, then Jungkook wasn’t about to try and stop him. He would just have to deal with it, deal with the fact that Jimin would never think of him the same way, get over it. 

 

“Oppa?” Yeri interrupted his thoughts, sounding oddly worried. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“I’m sorry.” Yeri said, unexpectedly. “I know you, um, don’t like talking about it.” 

 

Jungkook was taken aback by her sudden change in tone.  “No, uh, it’s okay.” He said quickly. “I mean, I don’t mind.” Yeri’s mood seemed so up and down today, he didn’t want to make her upset again. 

 

Yeri blinked at him. “You don’t?” 

 

“No, really, I don’t.” Jungkook assured her. “I- I actually kinda want to talk about it.” 

 

They stared at each other. 

 

“You never usually like talking about it.” Yeri said finally.  

 

“Really?” Jungkook said. “I- uh, oh.” He shrugged. “Yeah.” 

 

They were both quiet again for a while as Jungkook couldn’t think of how to respond to that. He didn’t usually like talking about it, that was true, Yeri had always seemed more comfortable talking about it than him. He had to wrack his brain for a reason that made sense. 

 

“I guess-” He started, and Yeri looked at him again. “I got tired of hating it so much.” 

 

He had intended to say it more casually, like it wasn’t such a big deal, but his words seemed to carry weight. 

 

“I told Yugyeom.” He continued, in way of some sort of explanation. Yeri’s eyes widened with surprise. 

 

“You did?” He nodded. “What did you tell him?” 

 

Jungkook shrugged. “Everything. He asked me.” 

 

Yeri still looked surprised, blinking several times as if that was helping it to register. After a moment she crossed the room to sit next to him again on the edge of the bed. 

 

“He was okay with it?” 

 

“Yeah.” Jungkook said. “I thought he hated me. He wasn’t even mad.” 

 

“That’s good.” Yeri said. “That’s really good.” She looked down, contemplative. 

 

Jungkook was suddenly hit with the realisation that she’d never actually told anyone other than him. She still had that fear about what her friends would do if they knew, that things would be different, or whatever other irrational (and rational, unfortunately) thing held them back. 

 

That had been what Jungkook thought before he told Yugyeom, after all. But it hadn’t been like that, at all. And that had changed something. It was just hard to put into words exactly what had changed. 

 

“I hadn’t really talked about it before.” He started again, remembering what he had been trying to explain. “Not properly, I mean. But I had to, when I was talking to Yugyeom, I had to explain it. And now-” He paused, thinking. “I don’t know. It’s different now.” Another pause. “I don’t wanna care so much. It’s so… tiring, you know?” He finished his explanation and looked at Yeri. She wasn’t looking at him, but he could tell she was listening.  

 

She nodded slowly, looking thoughtful. “Right.” 

 

“So- so we should just, not, you know?” Jungkook said decidedly. Yeri looked up at him, tilting her head slightly in confusion. 

 

“We shouldn’t…?” 

 

“Care so much.” 

 

It made sense now, what had changed in his mindset. They were already trying so hard to keep this a secret (even though he had kinda fucked it up quite early on), but he was also doing his best to ignore the thing he was trying to hide. And that was the really tiring part. Constantly regulating his mind to make sure he never thought anything he shouldn’t. But nobody could read his thoughts. Nobody had to know what he said to Yeri. Nobody would know what he said to Yugyeom (hopefully). 

 

If he was going to work so hard to hide it, he might as well acknowledge it. 

 

“Yeah.” Yeri said slowly, bringing his attention back to her. “I like that.” She turned to face him properly, breaking into a small smile. 

 

“Yeah?” Jungkook echoed, pleased with himself. 

 

“You say kinda smart things sometimes.” Yeri added, smiling properly now. 

 

“I- what? Hey!” Jungkook protested, pushing her half heartedly in the shoulder. It wasn’t hard enough to make her overbalance, but she fell backwards onto his bed anyway, laughing. 

 

“It’s a compliment!”

 

“Sometimes? Kinda smart things?” He flicked her hair over her face in an attempt to attack her without actually touching her. She lifted her hands to cover it, still giggling. 

 

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

 

“You definitely meant it like that.” Jungkook huffed. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Yeri grabbed his arm and pulled him down next to her. He didn’t attempt to resist, falling backwards without protest. “Let’s just stop giving a shit.” She continued, brushing her hair out of her face. “You’re right.”

 

“Of course I am.” Jungkook said, flipping the hair back again, making Yeri laugh. 

 

“Does that mean you’re willing to talk about your huge crush on Park Jimin now?” She said happily. Jungkook stopped attacking her for a moment to fling his arm over his face and groan, his voice coming out muffled. 

 

All of that said, talking to Yeri would be considerably better if she didn’t insist on teasing him all the damn time. 

  
“…Shut  _ up _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OwO what's this? an update after less than a month? 
> 
> (i'm sorry i lost brain cells typing that but i'm really tired lol)
> 
> hiiiiiiiiii again i'm back at it with a chapter where nothing happens lmao sorry this chapter is important to me.
> 
> it's time for these two to stop angsting so we can get some actual plot (yeah ik plot who idk her) so that's what this chapter is for. i'm worried yeri might come off as kinda all over the place in this chapter, but there's been a lot of issues with her building up for a while and she's just kinda quietly been dealing with them. she just needed to vent tbh. 
> 
> anyway this chapter is a little shorter than the two previous ones, and yeah lowkey nothing happens but hang in there cause shit's gonna go down soon. next up is a jimin-centric chapter (i'm about to get my jikook on are you ready) 
> 
> again thank you to everyone who left kudos+commented+bookmarked (also for your concern about me nearly dying, i was on the subway in nearly 50 degrees C for half an hour btw i didn't nearly get hit by a train it was just near heatstroke)
> 
> thank you for following this fic! idk how long the next update'll take but let's hope it's on the shorter side again this time


	12. Liar

“So, I hear you’re dating Kang Seulgi now.” Taemin said conversationally, stirring his bubble tea idly with a straw.

 

Jimin, who had unfortunately been drinking as he said this, choked.

 

“What?!”

 

Taemin practically doubled over with laughter at his outraged expression, probably only managing to control himself because they were in public, even though it was a secluded place, it wasn’t like there was anyone around to see him. “So it’s not true?” Jimin continued to stare at him, both confused and horrified, and Taemin laughed even harder.

 

“What- where did you even hear that?” Jimin said, still not quite recovered. Taemin had to grab his arm to guide him onwards as he had stopped walking altogether, frozen on the spot.  

 

“Word travels fast.” Taemin said simply, looking endlessly amused by the whole situation. “Rumours can get overblown pretty quickly. Don’t worry-” He added, linking his arm with Jimin’s and leading him over to a bench. “I was just teasing, I know it’s not true. She had about the same reaction.”

 

Jimin let Taemin pull him down to sit next to him, frowning.

 

“Why are people talking about it again? There isn’t anything between us- I only really properly talked to her the other day.”

 

“That’ll do it.” Taemin said. “You talked to each other? You’re definitely dating. Absolutely.”

 

Jimin sighed irritably. “How do they even know that?”

 

Taemin shrugged. “Word travels fast.” He repeated. He eyed Jimin, his smile fading. “They’re just rumours. It’ll blow over.”

 

“Yeah, I hope so.” Jimin muttered, turning back to his drink.

 

“You’re not interested in her at all, then?” Taemin sounded genuinely curious.

 

“I- no.” Jimin said, stumbling over his words slightly, unprepared for the question. “I mean, I don’t think so. I’ve never- it’s not like it’s an option, anyway.”

 

“Your maknae managed it.” Taemin pointed out.

 

Jimin scoffed.

 

“Yeah, well. That’s different.”

 

They were quiet for a while, watching the world go by, mercifully not noticing them sitting there. Jimin jabbed the straw further in his drink, not really sure why he felt so irritated. The thing with Seulgi was starting to get old, and now he had actually talked to her, he’d quite like to be friends. He’d always wanted to be close to the Red Velvet members, and Seulgi was probably the one he had the most in common with. But because of all this dating stuff, it always felt so awkward between them. Dating her certainly did not seem like something plausible.

 

“They’re cute though, aren’t they?” Taemin remarked. Jimin was pulled out of his thoughts and frowned confusedly.

 

“Um, who?”

 

“Jungkook and Yeri.”

 

“Oh, yeah.” Jimin said. “They’re troublemakers, though.”

 

Taemin laughed. “I bet they are. They match well, don’t you think?”

 

“Yeah…” Jimin said slowly.

 

They did match well, there was no question about it. Anyone could see that they got along well with each other, had similar interests, but also just how comfortable they seemed to be with each other. That part honestly still threw Jimin slightly. He didn’t know why, but he hadn’t predicted Jungkook’s first (proper) relationship to be like this, he had expected him to be more shy, maybe, more awkward, something like that. But the way Jungkook and Yeri acted, they seemed like they were completely comfortable with each other. Which was a good thing, of course, couples should be comfortable with each other. He just hadn’t really expected it from Jungkook.

 

They were lucky, really, that the reaction from the public had been so good. It was notoriously difficult to date as an idol, the backlash from fans could have a huge impact on their reputation. But on the contrary, people _liked_ them together. In fact, it seemed like people were slightly obsessed with their relationship, there were countless articles about how good a couple they were, Yeri’s company in particular seemed to be pushing them as a couple as some kind of marketable… thing. And it was working.

 

They were undoubtedly great together, and everyone loved them.

 

And yet, Jungkook still seemed to have been struggling with something. Maybe it was just the stress of keeping up appearances.

 

_Yeah, maybe._

 

“Jiminie~” Taemin waved a hand in front of his face.

 

“Huh?” Jimin jolted out of his thoughts yet again and blinked at his amused looking companion. “Oh. Sorry hyung, I was-”

 

“In another world?” Taemin smiled, not looking even slightly annoyed.

 

“Sorry.”

 

Taemin paid no attention to Jimin’s distractedness, he seemed to have picked up on the fact that Jimin was uncomfortable about the situation with Seulgi, and moved the conversation on accordingly. Jimin was grateful for just being able to listen as Taemin talked about their other friends, and things they’d been doing. Soon he was able to get caught up in the story Taemin was telling about Jongin, and they were talking normally again.

 

For the rest of the time they were together, neither of them brought it up.

 

Unfortunately, since they both had such full schedules, the time they were able to spend together was limited. The hour they spent together seemed to fly by, and before they knew it, they already had to go. Jimin was just about to start saying his goodbyes when he got the text.

 

“Who is it?” Taemin asked, watching him scan his phone screen.

 

“Jungkook.” Jimin said, rolling his eyes. Taemin looked at him questioningly. “ _Jimin-ah_.”Jimin read out the part of the the text where Jungkook addressed him, with emphasis on the lack of honorific. “Aish, this brat.”

 

“He talks to you informally?”

 

“He’s not supposed to.” Jimin muttered, still scanning the text.

 

“Ah…” Taemin said, looking amused. “I see. What does he want?” He added.

 

“He’s asking me to come back to the company.” Jimin said, locking his phone and pocketing it. “He doesn’t say why.” He shrugged.

 

“He doesn’t?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Even after speaking to you like that?” Taemin asked. “Wow, he does have a nerve.” He was smiling as he said this, something strangely knowing in his expression.

 

“Well… I don’t really mind that much, I guess.” Jimin admitted, feeling suddenly self-conscious. “If he, you know, drops honorifics, sometimes. I don’t mind.”

 

“Ah…” Taemin said again, smiling even more. “That kid has you wrapped around his finger, huh?”

 

Jimin nearly overbalanced on the spot, something which should have been impossible since he was completely stationary. “I- he- he’s not a kid.” He managed. He only realised too late that he’d failed to actually deny the statement, and immediately regretted it as the expression on Taemin’s face was definitely teasing now.

 

“He’s the maknae, he’ll always be a kid to you guys.” Taemin said matter of factly, still wearing that all too knowing expression as he reached out a hand to steady Jimin.

 

“He’s got a girlfriend now.” Jimin said, huffing. He looked morosely off into the distance. “He’s not a kid anymore.”

 

He expected Taemin to continue to make fun of him, but to his surprise, he was silent. Jimin pretended to check his phone for a second before looking at him, slightly confused.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing.” Taemin shook his head, tearing his gaze away. He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Shall we go?”

 

“Uh, sure.”

 

Taemin walked him some of the way back to his company, making conversation again so that the slightly strange exchange was forgotten. Jimin wasn’t sure what to make of his reaction, it felt almost like Taemin knew something that he didn’t, somehow. But they had been talking about Jungkook, how could he possibly know something that Jimin didn’t? It couldn’t be that.

 

Then what?

 

In the end, they walked almost all of the way back to the BigHit building, Taemin’s schedule being later than Jimin’s, he had more time to spend.

 

“We have to meet up again soon!” Taemin said in his ear as they hugged goodbye. “With the rest of the guys, even it’s just an hour.”

 

“Right, yeah.” Jimin said, pulling back. “We have to hang out, all of us together. Soon!”

 

Taemin pulled a face. “As soon as we can, anyway.”  

 

They were both quiet for a moment as Jimin got out his phone to text Jungkook about his whereabouts.

 

“I bet he won’t answer, he’s terrible at replying to texts.” Jimin said, watching for the sign that his messages had been read. It did not appear. “I’ll probably just go find him.” He sighed, looking back at Taemin.

 

“Okay.”

 

He looked like he wanted to say something.

 

Jimin tilted his head in question. “Okay?”

 

“Yeah, just,” Taemin glanced around briefly, as if checking for people who may be able to hear them, before lowering his voice so Jimin had to lean forward slightly to hear. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” He made eye contact again, looking so serious it was almost unnerving.

 

“I- uh- yeah?”

 

Taemin smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. “Good.” He released him after a moment and turned. “I should get going now, message me though!”

 

He had gone before Jimin could say anything else. He was left standing there, questions dying on his tongue as he watched him go, even more confused than he had been before. His attention was grabbed abruptly as the forgotten phone he held limply in his hand buzzed suddenly.

 

**Jungkook [6:54 PM]**

_i’m in my studio_

 

**Jimin [6:54 PM]**

_coming_

  


He wasn’t there.

 

Honestly, Jimin was hardly surprised. Jungkook was hardly the easiest person to get in contact with, he did have a tendency to just disappear sometimes.

 

The door to his workroom had been slightly ajar, and Jimin had knocked before pushing it open to find the small room empty. Jungkook had clearly been working on something before as the computer was on, but whatever he’d been doing was now closed, so only the city skyline he had set as his wallpaper was visible. A photo taken by him, probably. Jimin stood around in the centre of the room for a minute or two, sending Jungkook another text and yet again waiting for a sign that he’d read it to no avail. He sighed, idly looking around the room and wondering how long he should wait before he started looking for him.

 

As he scanned the room looking for something to entertain himself, his attention was drawn to Jungkook’s camera lying on the table next to the computer. Maybe he’d been editing photos, Jimin knew that Jungkook enjoyed messing around with the photos he’d taken to make them look even more artsy than they did already. Although, come to think of it, he hadn’t really seen Jungkook take many pictures lately. He usually took his camera with him everywhere, but Jimin could’ve sworn he hadn’t seen it much at all recently.

 

He glanced around at the door as an idea occurred to him all of a sudden. He tried to banish it from his head as soon as it appeared, but it stubbornly stayed there, refusing to acknowledge its wrongness.

 

It would be wrong, to look at the photos without Jungkook’s permission. He’d be mad. Jimin looked at the door again.

 

_But he doesn’t have to know._

 

His curiosity won in the end, and he crossed the room to pick the camera up.

 

The first few pictures were just of Seoul, locations around the city that seemed vaguely familiar, usually at night. Jungkook took pictures of a lot of different things, but places and people were his favourites. It took a little while before Jimin found a picture of a person, there were more shots of the city, different parts, different times of day, places he recognised and places he didn’t. And then, out of the blue, a person.

 

Yeri.

 

He recognised the place she was pictured in immediately as Jungkook’s bedroom. She was standing in front of his closet, wearing what was unmistakably one of Jungkook’s leather jackets, laughing as she struck a pose, looking at him rather than at the camera. Jimin stared at the photo for a moment before flipping past it and the similar ones that followed, feeling like he was intruding.

 

There was more than one picture of her in there. Jimin didn’t know why this came as such a surprise, Jungkook took pictures of all the important people in his life. There were pictures of the other members in there too, several of Taehyung in various locations they’d been in recently, Yoongi in the seat of a car with headphones on (probably unaware the picture was being taken), as well as Jungkook’s same age friends. And then there was more of Yeri. Pictures that were probably taken on dates, he realised, in some of them she was posing for the camera, but some she didn’t even look at it.

 

It felt like he’d looked through hundreds of photos already when he finally came across one of himself.

 

He had no memory of Jungkook taking it, it must have happened without him realising. It was of him alone in the middle of the practice room, perfecting a particular dance move. He could recognise the dance just from this picture, it was a difficult one, he still hadn’t properly got it right. It was an amazing picture. Jungkook had the ability to capture so much in just a single frame, making simple things look so impressive. He always captured Jimin the way he wanted to look, somehow.

 

In Jungkook’s pictures, his imperfections didn’t seem to matter so much.

 

“Jimin.”

 

The voice wasn’t loud, but he started all the same, turning so quickly he nearly got whiplash. Jungkook was standing in the doorway, surveying him in silence.

 

_Damn it._

 

“I didn’t know where you were.” Jimin said hurriedly. “I was just, uh, looking.” His excuses seemed very inadequate.

 

Jungkook just stared at him for a moment longer, and then took a step across the room towards him, holding out his hand for the camera wordlessly. Jimin handed it over quickly.

 

He couldn’t tell if Jungkook was mad or not, he had maintained the same blank facial expression this whole time and not said a word. Now he was looking at the camera rather than at Jimin, at the picture he’d just been looking at.

 

“You’re looking at pictures of yourself?” Jungkook spoke suddenly. Jimin blinked at him.

 

“I- um, yeah?” He managed, having no idea how to respond to that. “They’re really good.” He added weakly.

 

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Thanks.”

 

They were both silent for a while as Jimin wracked his brain for something to say next. He didn’t have time to think of anything before Jungkook suddenly lifted the camera and took a picture of him right there. Jimin started slightly with surprise, taking a half step backwards almost automatically.

 

“What are you-”

 

“The lighting is good.” Jungkook informed him, still looking at the picture he’d just taken. Jimin didn’t know that much about photography, but he was pretty sure the lighting wasn’t that good at all in here, as it was getting dark outside the only light was coming from the computer.

 

He decided not to question it. Jungkook didn’t seem to be mad at him, at least, and he wasn’t asking him about the other photos he’d been looking at. Come to think of it, that part was a little strange, actually. It was obvious that he’d seen the rest of the photos on that camera, and yet Jungkook only asked him about that one. Shouldn’t he care more about him seeing the pictures of Yeri? They were kind of private, right?

 

“Jimin-ah.”

 

Jimin was about to apologise for spacing out _again_ (what was wrong with him today?) when he registered how Jungkook had just addressed him.

 

“I- ya, what did you just call me?”

 

Jungkook blinked at him. “Jimin-ssi.” He amended without missing a beat.

 

Jimin has to bite his lip to stop himself from cracking a smile. “What?” He said, the corner of his mouth twitching.

 

Jungkook must have picked up on it, because he broke into a smile, looking unnecessarily pleased with himself.

 

“I was gonna go to the gym,” he started, setting his camera carefully onto the table as he spoke. “And I-”

“The gym?” Jimin interrupted him, frowning. “We have practice now.”

 

“Huh?” Jungkook said, mirroring his frown. “Oh, didn’t I tell you? It’s cancelled.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

“Something came up.” Jungkook said dismissively. “Anyway. I- I’m gonna go to the gym.” He waited. Jimin looked at him blankly, not sure where he was going with this. He seemed to be waiting for Jimin to say something.

 

“Right now?” He offered eventually.

 

“Yeah.” Jungkook said.

 

They stared at each other.

 

Jimin cleared his throat. “Uh…”

 

“You wanna come with me?” Jungkook said suddenly.

 

He was obviously trying to seem casual, but he spoke so quickly it took a moment for Jimin to register what he said.

 

Had Jungkook really got him to come there just so he could go to the gym with him? Jimin didn’t know what he’d expected when Jungkook asked him to come back to the company, something of some significance maybe. He had thought that he actually needed something, to talk about something, not just so they could hang out.

 

It had already been in his head to tell Jungkook to rest and not work himself too hard (knowing he probably wouldn’t listen, but still) and then go back to the dorms.

 

But then again, they hadn’t really hung out in a while.

 

“Sure.” Jimin found himself saying.

 

Maybe Taemin was right.

  


*****

 

Jungkook seemed to spend half of his life working out, when he wasn’t in the gym, he did it in his room, or anywhere else he could. Although Jimin worked out fairly frequently as well, he still didn’t match the amount of time the younger spent. They often went to the gym together, and Jungkook always, without fail, did that little bit longer than Jimin did.

 

And that was where they were now. It hadn’t taken that long for Jimin to decide to stop today, he was already tired out, but now Jungkook had been going for 45 minutes longer than him.

 

“Aren’t you tired yet?” He called out. Jungkook didn’t seem to hear him. “Jungkook-ah.”

 

Jungkook paused and glanced at him. “What?”

 

“You’re not tired?”

 

He shrugged. “Not really.”

 

“Liar.”

 

“I’m not.” Jungkook spun around to face him properly, breathing heavily.

 

“You only say you’re tired when you literally can’t move anymore.”

 

Jungkook just stared at him for a moment, and then huffed out a laugh, finally stepping away from the equipment he had been using. He crossed the room to the area where Jimin was sitting and grabbed the towel draped on the chair next to him.

 

“I like it.” He said, his voice slightly muffled as he rubbed the towel over his face. “Working out till I’m in pain.” He tossed the towel to one side and sat down next to Jimin.

 

“I know.” Jimin said with a smile. “Weirdo.” He reached for a full water bottle and threw it in Jungkook’s direction, watching him catch it with ease and proceed to drink all of it in one go.

 

“My hands are messed up.” Jungkook said after he finished, clenching and unclenching his free hand. Jimin threw him a confused look, so he continued. “I was on the computer all morning, and now after all that-” He winced slightly.

 

Jimin hummed, looking at the outstretched hand. “You work too hard.” He remarked offhandedly, as if it was something quite trivial, and not code for ‘stop working so hard’.

 

Jungkook glanced at him. “Says you.”

 

Apparently he picked up on it. “I’ve not been working all day.” Jimin pointed out.

 

Jungkook seemed to take a moment to think about that.

 

“I don’t like doing nothing.”

 

“Taking a break is not the same as doing nothing.”

 

“This is me taking a break.”

 

Jimin rolled his eyes, giving up. “You’re so stubborn.”

 

Jungkook looked irritatingly smug, like he always did when he won one of their petty arguments. Jimin hit him half-heartedly in the shoulder, not really annoyed.

 

“How did you take a break then?” Jungkook asked.

 

“I was with Taemin-hyung.”

 

“Oh. Cool.”

 

Jimin snorted. “You wanna sound a little less interested?”

 

Jungkook shrugged. “I am interested. Tell me about it.”

 

“We talked about you, actually.” Jimin said, watching him. Jungkook looked at him in surprise. “About you and your girlfriend.” Jimin could’ve sworn his face fell slightly at that.

 

“What about us?”

 

“Just that you… match well. Taemin-hyung thinks so.” Jimin finished, slightly awkwardly. Jungkook looked down.

 

“Do you think so?”

 

“Uh, I mean, yeah, I guess.” Jimin was slightly thrown off by the question. “If you’re happy, then…”

 

Jungkook didn’t look particularly satisfied with this answer. Jimin sighed.

 

“Well, you never really talk about her.” He said helplessly. “I haven’t got anything to go on.”

 

“Do you want me to talk about her?” Jungkook said, looking up finally.

 

“Do you want to talk about her?” Jimin countered.

 

Jungkook shrugged unhelpfully. “I don’t know what to say. What do you want to know?”

 

“Just tell me about her.” Jimin said, turning in his seat to face him properly. “I don’t know, like…” He paused for a moment to think about it. “What do you like about her?”

 

Jungkook was quiet for a while, and Jimin wondered if he had been right to ask this. They hadn’t ever talked about her before, Jungkook had started acting weird around him before they started dating, he felt like he knew barely anything about their relationship. And he did want to know. But maybe Jungkook didn’t want to tell him.

 

“I like that I feel like I can talk to her about anything.” Jungkook said suddenly. Jimin had been on the verge of telling him that he didn’t have to say anything, but he kept quiet now, waiting for him to say more. “I’m just… comfortable with her, I guess.” Jungkook continued slowly. He looked away again, peeling the label off the water bottle he was still holding.

 

“That’s nice.” Jimin said. It felt inadequate. He swallowed. “Um…”

 

Jungkook looked back at him. “It feels like we’re friends, as well as being boyfriend and girlfriend.” He said quietly.

 

“Oh.” Jimin said. He hadn't really predicted how awkward this conversation would be, and felt suddenly underprepared. The silence stretched between them, it was on the verge of being unbearable again before Jungkook broke it again.

 

“You wanna sound a little less interested?”

 

“I- ya, you-” It took Jimin a moment to register that he was being teased, and when he did he shoved the younger in the shoulder, with much more feeling this time. “Brat.” He huffed, sitting back again. Jungkook laughed, completely unperturbed.

 

“What?” He feigned innocence, looking far too pleased with himself with that overly smug expression.

 

Jimin wasn’t about to let him get the upper hand in this conversation again.

 

“You’re always copying me, Jungkookie.” He started, after some deliberation. “Do you really like me that much?”

 

It was old, he’d used this method of teasing so many times. But it usually worked, Jungkook never seemed to know quite how to respond to it. Sure enough, he said nothing, and after a moment Jimin looked up to find that he seemed to have frozen, his hand unmoving on the label of the water bottle that he had previously been pulling off.

 

“I don’t like you.” He said eventually, and Jimin could hear the barely concealed stutter in his voice. Jimin smirked triumphantly, pleased with the reaction he’d managed to get.  
  
“Liar.”   
  
Jungkook looked at him briefly with an unreadable expression, but it passed quickly as he laughed, ducking his head. Normally Jimin would just drop it here, but something was making him want to push it a little further. A not so shameful part of him really enjoyed being able to elicit these kinds of reactions, and after having Jungkook give him the cold shoulder for so long, it was more fun than usual.   
  
“You’re so disrespectful.” He complained loudly after Jungkook went a while without saying anything. “You never treat me like your elder.” He glanced to Jungkook for a reaction, and was slightly irritated when he didn’t receive one. “Ya, are you listening?”   
  
Jungkook still didn’t look at him. “Yes.”   
  
It was hard to tell his emotions just from that word, and not being able to see his face. Jimin watched him for a moment, studying his side profile, and something impulsive took over.   
  
“How do I know you’re listening when you don’t look at me?” He rested his fingers lightly underneath Jungkook’s chin and tilted his face towards him. Jungkook seemed to turn his head almost automatically so Jimin barely had to apply any pressure, and just stared wide eyed at him for a second, not making any attempt to pull back despite their closeness. This lasted what felt like a very long time before Jungkook finally moved, actually standing up to get away.

 

Jimin watched him as he got up, taking several paces back and pausing to run a hand through his hair as if to fix it (only succeeding in messing it up even more), looking at his reflection in the mirror rather than at Jimin.

 

“It’s getting late.” Jungkook said eventually, letting his arms fall by his sides, still looking in the mirror. “We should…” He started, glancing back and, probably unintentionally, making eye contact with Jimin. He seemed to lose his train of thought.

 

“Go?” Jimin suggested, leaning backwards in his seat and smirking at him.

 

Jungkook cleared his throat and looked away. “Uh, yeah. That.”

 

Jimin laughed openly at him. “You’re so cute.” He said teasingly.

 

There was a split second longer than necessary pause before Jungkook seemed able to respond to that.

 

“What are you talking about, hyung, you’re too much.” He said in a rush, laughing awkwardly as he went to rifle through his bag. He pulled out a t-shirt and changed into it, tossing the tank top he had been wearing before to one side. He must have felt Jimin’s eyes still on him, because after a moment he looked up again, despite himself.

 

“What?”

 

 _You’ve lost weight,_ Jimin nearly said, but swallowed the words back. “Pass me a shirt.” He said instead, finally lowering his gaze. Jungkook complied, throwing him one of his own white t-shirts.

 

They didn’t talk again until they left.

 

It was completely dark outside now, and consequently much colder as they headed back to the company. Jimin wished he could remember where he’d left his jacket, he was way too cold just in a t-shirt. Jungkook had a jacket, he noted, glancing in his companion’s direction enviously. He didn’t even get cold that easily.

 

“Are you cold?” Jungkook’s voice startled him after the long silence.

 

“I forgot my jacket.” He admitted. “But it’s okay-” He started to say, knowing what Jungkook was going to say next.

 

“You can take mine.”

 

Jimin sighed and rolled his eyes.

 

“Then you’ll be cold.” But he was already taking the jacket off and offering it. “I’ll be fine.” Jungkook assured him.

 

Jimin didn’t feel like he had much of a choice but to accept, the fact that he was freezing to death did have somewhat of an impact on his judgement. He took the jacket and shrugged it on, sighing again.

 

“Half of the clothes I’m wearing right now are yours, you know?” He said, in a vaguely complaining tone.

 

Jungkook looked him up and down and hummed noncommittally in response.

 

After a few more moments of silence passed, Jimin turned to him again to say something else, but trailed off as he immediately noticed how much he was shivering now, wrapping his arms around himself to keep warm. Jimin stopped in his tracks and folded his arms.

 

“Jungkook.”

 

“Hm?” Jungkook halted, several paces ahead of him.

 

“You’re cold.”

 

“No I’m not.”

 

The denial was so blatant Jimin nearly laughed out loud. He opted instead to shake his head disbelievingly. “You’re such an idiot.”

 

Before Jungkook could respond to that, he took several swift steps forward and wrapped his arm around the younger’s waist, pulling him into his side as best as he could given their height difference. Jungkook tensed momentarily at the action, seeming surprised, but he relaxed after only a moment and let Jimin drag him forwards. It was a little difficult to walk like that at first, but after they got their paces to match, it was natural and as easy as anything.

 

They were quiet for a while again, but at this point Jimin was growing tired of the frequent silences between them. So he did the first thing he thought of to make light conversation, asking Jungkook what he was working on. This worked as well as he hoped, as Jungkook jumped on this topic immediately, telling him about videos and editing and covers, all of a sudden talking with complete ease.

 

In times like this it was easy to forget the still existing awkwardness which kept showing up unexpectedly, throwing all of their interactions off kilter, seemingly completely at random. Jimin didn’t know where they drew the line anymore, where he stood with Jungkook, why there was still _something_ going on.

 

But a big part of him didn’t want to think about why they were being like this, so for now he was content to watch Jungkook ramble with the half-smile he had when he talked about things he really liked, and ignore how the heat from their contact felt like enough to keep him warm without a jacket.

  


It wasn’t till they were back at the company that Jungkook ran out of things to talk about. As soon as they were inside he detached himself from Jimin’s side and went to stand next to a heater.

 

“You gonna stay here now, or are you heading back to the dorm?” Jimin asked, regarding him with faint amusement.

 

“Hm?” Jungkook said vaguely. “Oh, I was gonna go out again.”  

 

“Again?” Jimin frowned. “To do what?”

 

Jungkook shrugged. “Film stuff.”

 

“Film stuff? At night?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

Jimin stared at him for a moment, then snorted. “What stuff?”

 

“You know, people…” he waved a hand around. “And… stuff.” He brought the hand up to rub the back of his neck, staring into space.

 

“Alright then.” Jimin gave up his questioning, shaking his head.

 

Jungkook’s eyes flickered to him.

 

“Do you want to come with me?”

 

Jimin was suddenly hit with a sense of deja vu, Jungkook had said almost exactly the same words mere hours earlier (in practically exactly the same way).

 

“Where are you going?” Jimin asked, instead of immediately answering the offer.

 

“I don’t know yet.”

 

“I thought you preferred to do that alone.” Jimin said, testing him. (He wasn’t really sure what he was testing.) Jungkook blinked at him, expression unchanging.

 

“I wanted to hang out with you, though.” He shrugged again, dropping his gaze. “We haven’t really done that, that much, lately.”

 

There was another moment of silence between them. Jimin swallowed.

 

“Okay.” He said simply.

 

So they went out again.

 

Jungkook put another jacket on, identical to the one Jimin was already wearing. “We match now.” Jimin said, as they descended in the elevator, comparing their reflections in the mirror. Jungkook didn’t answer, already focused on his camera.

 

It was quiet outside, at least on the streets they took. There were no parts of this city that were completely quiet, and Jimin was almost certain that they had been photographed on mobile phones more than once already. But they paid no attention to that, walking and talking as if they were completely alone.

 

“What are you actually filming?” Jimin asked him, as they paused to wait to cross a road.

 

Jungkook looked at him through the camera. “You know.” He said, vaguely. “Everything.”

 

There was a break in traffic and they carried on, Jimin started to talk again, about mindless things, and Jungkook watched him through the viewfinder, still filming everything.

 

It seemed like he was mainly filming Jimin, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello welcome back!
> 
> i think it's been around a month this time, more time than i would've liked, but it could have been worse, lol. this actually would have been up sooner, but for some reason ao3 stopped working for me briefly (i think it was a wifi problem???) and then my computer broke (while i was editing sjsjjsjs i edited this on my phone), so i'm posting this from someone else's computer so lowkey paranoid ab that.
> 
> here is the promised jikook chapter, it was a lot of fun to write these two not fighting for once lmao. (also the taemin cameo, idk if you can tell but i love all the sm idols v much hahaha.) so, pls let me know what you think of all this, when i said shit's gonna go down i didn't mean straight away, necessarily, we're gonna have to wait on that a little bit. again i sort of feel like i'm writing chapters where not much is happening, but i swear i'll get there, things will happen! the plan is next chapter will be yeri/tzuyu aaaand then plot!! (kinda) 
> 
> anyway thanks for sticking around on this, the slowest of burns. i really appreciate it. next chapter will be soon, i'll try and focus on it as soon as i'm done with my current round of exams, ttfn!

**Author's Note:**

> So um this is a thing that I wrote in the middle of the night. This idea has been in my head for ages, so I finally got around to writing it. There will obviously be more of it, but since I am lazy I don't know when. 
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoyed it (i don't really know what i'm doing this is the first time i wrote something like this)


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